If I switch sides and join the Republican Party, when does my tiara come in the mail?

Question

If I switch sides and join the Republican Party, when does my tiara come in the mail?

Answer 1

It might take a while.  First they have to figure out how to pay for it--you know, lay in wait for an opportunity to sneak it into an amendment inside a committee report inside an omnibus spending bill, in the middle of the night.

Answer 2

It doesn't.

It gets hand delivered by someone driving a Hummer limousine cross-country, in order to burn as much gas and generate as much of a carbon footprint as possible.

It was one of my main reasons for joining... that seemed much more attractive than the "bohica" charm the Democrats were offering, whatever that is.

Answer 3

No, if you want to be given free stuff, you joined the wrong party. The democrats are the ones who like to give out welfare for votes.

Answer 4

After the presidential election...