If I underschedule my preschooler and keep her at home, won't she still be successful in school?

Question

My youngest child is 3 1/2. I do not want to succumb to the peer pressure I am getting to enroll her in an academic preschool, ballet lessons, kindermusic, playgroups, etc. It's like you're a better parent if your kid is doing something structured. She is really a happy kid, and is not asking to do any of these things. We have a big family, she gets lots of social interaction, and we frequent the library and do free form art, gardening, cooking, and reading together all the time. Isn't that enough? I guess I need reassurance that I'm making the right decision. Any evidence to the contrary? I didn't overschedule her brothers but they did attend preschool, soccer, art classes at some point. We have the money to enroll in all those classes, but choose not to. I'm trying to simplify my life these days, but don't want to do it at her expense. Any thoughts?

Answer 1

She doesn't need to participate in ANYTHING. Ever. It's all extras.

Read The Hurried Child for more support in standing against the mad rush to create a certain type of child.

Answer 2

Your doing fine. There is nothing wrong with giving a kid time to just exist. Just be with her and love her. Giving a child a foundation of love and security to build on is always the best idea. Why push them into remembering and practicing stuff her mind can't handle yet and pay top dollar to lesson instructors?

Answer 3

You have my vote of approval.   There are studies that show that kids are experiencing stress at earlier ages.  The reason is because they are over scheduled and overloaded with activities.

I think you are doing the right thing.   Kids love to learn.  It is in the classroom that many lose their love for learning.

Answer 4

At her age, it's perfectly fine to "underschedule" her.  There's no reason at all that her pre-educational needs can't be met right there at home!  While it's true that music lessons are really good for cognitive development, she's too young by far at this point!  You can play music at home that's great to listen to like Mozart and the "three B's".  Time enough to get into formal stuff later!  At least age 5 or 6.

Answer 5

It sounds like you are giving your child a wonderful education. Don't act on  the peer pressure. I enrolled my son in a 1/2 day, one day a week preschool for one year before Kindergarden. I was nervous that he wouldn't do well at school without preschool.Everyone was doing preshcool. I now wish I'd skipped it and  spent the time with him.

He is now 16, well adjusted socially, gets straight A's, works a part time job and he's working towards his black belt. Skip preschool and keep doing what you are doing. Read all the time to your child and let them play a bunch. A book you might like is called For the Children's Sake.

Best of Luck to You!

jana

http://www.purehomeschooling.com

http://www.summerhouseliving.com

Answer 6

One thought: Bravo!

You are not under-scheduling your child.  Other people over-schedule, succumbing to pressure from others, fear that their child is "missing something," etc.  This is the same reason people decide that only "professionals" can teach their children.

One is not a better parent if the child is in structured activities at this age.  One is a parent who can't think for herself.  You, my dear, are doing what is best for your family.  Too bad other folks leave those decisions to strangers.

Here's a site with fun ideas for your daughter.  It was written specifically for "unders-scheduling" moms like you: http://www.universalpreschool.com/how-to...

Answer 7

My daughter was a preschool dropout. She attended preschool for only 4 days and that was all either of us could take. She unschooled after that. She taught herself to read at age 3; was reading on a 3rd grade level at age 5; on a high school level at age 8; and reading on a college level by age 12. She started her own business at age 11 and college at age 15. She is an artist, a business woman, works part time for others and is a certified firefighter. She will be 22 in November and is getting married this September. None of this is out of the ordinary for unschoolers. Our homeschooling was very laid back...no curriculum, no enrollment in the state's program and we didn't let outside pressures influence our decisions.

Our 17 year old son is behind his sister in some areas but ahead of her in others at this age. He's his own person who never attended a formal classroom setting until the age of 16. He's presently attending community college, was the youngest counselor at camp this summer and we let him get his driver's license a year ahead of his sister (she got hers at age 18).

You're doing fine. In fact, I admire your determination to raise your children as you see fit and not as others think you should. You go girl! I hope I live to see the day when homeschoolers become the majority, not the minority.

Cindy

Answer 8

There is actually proof that overscheduling and having your children in too many activities can cause behavior problem and anxiety and stress in your child. This is just common sense. Look at yourself. A lot of adults don't even know their limits and wonder why they don't sleep well and are tired and grumpy.

I say continue what you are doing and don't fall into any kind of peer pressure from anyone. You don't have to answer to anyone.

We all try to do what is best for our children.

I don't have my Daughter in anything scheduled- why? Because she chooses it to be that way. She has tried things for awhile in the past and it just didn't turn out to be as she always says, "My cup of tea."

You get socialization from everyday life. Also don't fall into that whole "no socialization" trap either.

People have no clue unless they do homeschooling themselves. People don't know how to react or face the unknown and they go by all the myths and lies.

Use your common sense. This is something that a lot of people lack hence all the backtalk about homeschooling.  

Answer 9

I think you're doing a great job.  Good for you for not just doing what the crowd says you should!  Kids these days are expected at earlier and earlier ages to be overscheduled like that.  And maybe as she gets older she will be more interested in different activities, but then she will at least be enjoying the different things she has to do.  But really she will have ample opportunities in her life to be "busy."  So why rush her now?  I can tell you that I spent a lot of time with my parents when I was a kid and wouldn't trade those times for anything.