If I wanted to do a search for my birth mother, where would be a good place to get started?

Question

My family isn't saying much and I don't have a lot of info to go on and I wanted to see if I could have someone to tell me how to go about starting to look for my her.

Answer 1

The adoption agency.

I'm not sure it's a good idea to surprise someone by just looking them up like that. The adoption agency will likely be able to contact her and find out if she wants contact.

Answer 2

I would contact the adoption agency you went through and talk with them. They'll have your birthmother's information, and they can even help you find her :D

Answer 3

Here is a detailed list of what you should do.

1. register with isrr.net (not .com)

2.go to this site to determine your individual state access to adoption records laws.

http://local.reunion.adoption.com/

This will tell you what information you have a right to access and if you can petition the courts to open your records to determine your birth parent's names if both names are available.  It will tell you how to get your non-id information from the state.  The agency if one handled your adoption will also have this information and you can request it from them as well.  The information that you get from the 2 sources can be different and may help in your search once you have names.  

3. If permitted, have a consent to contact form put in your records with the state and the agency so that contact can be expedited if someone searches for you.

4. register with any state sponsored reunion sites and as many online sites as you can find.  

here are a few of the more popular ones.

registry.adoption.com

findme.org

G's adoption search: http://www.aci.net/schaefer/page60.html

5.  when posting information on sites put your info in the header in this manner.

ISO BM F Born xx/xx/xxxx City/State

6.  Keep a small bit of information to yourself to use as a verification that you have found the correct person.  IE: hospital name, your wt at birth, Dr.'s name.

7.  Once you have a name use the following sites to locate current info on birth mothers.

Ancestry.com has many birth marriage and death records and if you can determine her DOB then you can track using DOB and first name with this site: public-records-now.com  at that point take the info to zabasearch. com for addresses and phone numbers or use any of the online directories.  Classmates.com and reunion.com are also helpful in finding people.

The hospital will not give you any information because of privacy laws and your records will be under your birth mother's name.  The vital records registrar will not be able to help you unless you have a court order or you are fortunate enough to be in one of the few states that allows adoptee to have access to their original birth records.  Those states are AK, KS, AL, NH, OR.  ME opens their records in Jan 2009.

Several states have their birth records online or with easy access to searchers.  These states are easy to search.  Those are CA, TX, OH, KY, NC & MN(to some extent).

good luck

Answer 4

My mom is just starting to look for info about her birth parents. She is going to be 47 later this month. She didn't want to hurt her mom's feelings and sadly she passed away last year. We aren't wanting to meet them or even contact them, but only to get much needed medical history and ethnic background. She contacted the adoption agency in which she was adopted out of. That got her some info, given name, how old her parents were, but no names. There was a family that had her before her mom and they know all of her birth parents info and now we only have to write a letter of intent to them. Hopefully, your situation will work out.

Answer 5

Do you have your birth certificate?  If you do then please look at my profile and send me an email...

I have a "Search Angel" that found my husbands birth parents and she's currently looking for my brother-in-laws family now...

She is WONDERFUL!!!  She found my husbands bio family October 2005 and I'm still in touch with her...  She is an extended part of our family now and "Search Angels" dedicate their time in helping with your search!  I'd love to send you her email so you can get in touch with her.  

She found my husband's bio mom in less than 24 hours... Not every search is this easy but she was a blessing to our family.

Answer 6

Yes, I know a lot about it, Reunite.com sign up there, It breaks it down like your D.O.B. will really help if she is on there it will match you to her and go from there GOOD LUCK I'm sure she will want to hear from you. Take Care.

Answer 7

I knew the name given to me at birth and I knew a few things about my birth mother.   I knew that she came from a large family, some general information about the family (e.g. they were very involved in their church....stuff like that).  I knew the state that she lived in too.  BTW, I got that information by making contact with a social worker at the adoption agency.  No more information was given as adoptions are not open in the state where I was born.

With that information, I started making phone calls to Directory Assistance and then making phone calls to people with that last name.  Since she was from a large family, I looked for areas (geographically) that had a large number of people with this last name.  The 2nd person I contacted was her father who gave me her name and phone number.  I was careful what I said to him and he didn't know who he was talking too.  (My birth had been kept a secret).

Answer 8

Hire a private detective if you can afford it.  My oldest brother is my half-brother and was always curious about his biological dad, so his buddies hired one for him and he didn't seem to have any trouble finding the guy.

They had the guy's name though, so I'm not sure if one of those will help if you don't have that.

Answer 9

i paid someone to find my siblings..our mother died in 74 we were taken away in 73..i was adopted with our younger brother in 75 and the other three were adopted in 79 together....it cost me almost 8 hundred bucks for this lady to look for them one week...i looked for 20 years...had i known there are people that do that 20 years ago i would have..i think i changed last month in two days i met my oldest brother my sister and my father and he claimed me...to be claimed was the coolest part..he calls me i want nothing from him other than the opportunity to know who he is and thats really cool for me..i even got to put flowers on my mothers grave something i had wanted to do for years..it took me forever to find her grave..my story isnt over there is another brother i havent met...but my kids now know where i came from they were with me almost every step of the way ..good luck..just go to ask.com and start searching adoption sites..dont waste your money on any of them...try to find the birth books for the year you were born in the state and county you were born..thats how my adoption detective found my siblings all of us were born at home we were all put on the birth books years after our births...i do know in the state of ky adoptions are sealed forever and the state isnt going to help you they are not allowed by law..but you should call the vital statistics for the state you were born in and talk to the adoption section...good luck with your search and i hope it gives you whatever it is you are looking for.

Answer 10

Do you know where you were born? If so, I would start with that states city hall. Look for childbirth records of that year you were born, and for the hospital you were born at. If you don't know where you were born, then you can start with the year and date.  I don't have a lot of advice in this area but let me see what I can find on Google...hold on....OK, here's one website that might be a great help to you...

http://www.givenright.com/

I hope this helps. Take care.

Answer 11

Go online & look for adoption registries.  Register with as many as you can find since you never know where you might come across birth relatives.

Contact the vital records office of the state where you were born & see if you can get your birth certificate.

Contact the hospital where you were born if you know it.

Talk to your adoptive family & see what other information you can dig up.  If they're hesitant, they're probably insecure & afraid of losing you.  If you need help maybe you could contact an adoptee advocate or advocacy group to either help you get some tools to use in talking to them or even to go with you to talk to them about why this is important to you.

As an adoptive parent, I feel like I owe it to my children to understand their feelings of loss, grief and a desire to know more about their birth family including helping them find a way to seek them out.

You could also take what information you do have and/or can dig up to a private investigator.  Call several of them & find one that can help you who you can afford to use.

Answer 12

Try contacting adoption agencies (unless you know which one handled your case) in the area listed as "birthplace" on your birth certificate.  They have programs set up to facilitate reunions with consenting family members, depending on which state you were adopted in.  Any agency will be able to give you information about the process; in Maryland, my agency was able to give me some records and provided mediation services who contacted my birthmother on my behalf to arrange a reunion.

Good luck!

Answer 13

Yes!  You can go to Tina's Adoption Search.  Great website to teach you how to search!

Good luck!!

P.S. Keep asking your family -- gently and in a positive lighthearted moment.  Remember, they just feel a little threatened.  They don't want to even think about loosing your love.  Even at this age! : )

Answer 14

Take your information to someone who does searches for a living and is looking for references to be licensed.  They usually will do searches for direct expenses they incur.  I was adopted.  My birth mom had me in SC but I got my info and the searcher found out that my mom was from Georgia (Bryan County).

Other than that, I really don't want to get too detailed.  There are lots of things to look for in your information.  E-mail me and I can guide you a little better.  Yes, I found my mom and dad.  I ended up with 4 half sisters (two of whom I am close to) and assorted nieces and nephews.  You can meet them or not.  I wanted closure.  To me, it was amazing to find out that I look so much like my mom and my baby sister.  We all look so much alike, my adoptive mom had trouble telling us all apart.  My daughter has blonde hair and my niece has brunette, like me so when we are all together it is kinda hard to tell who belongs to who.  For me, that is great.

Answer 15

i have no idea but good luck looking for her. and becareful to not hurt ur parents feelings, they will most likely feel threatened and worry about you gettin hurt if you do find ur birth mom.