If I were to perform a colonoscopy.......?

Question

and my only resources were at the local Home Depot, what would I want to use?

Answer 1

Good laugh is a good remedy, isn't it. Otherwise your question has no place in Alt.med

Answer 2

A mag lite, a plumbing snake, and a needle nosed pliers.

Answer 3

That's really rather sadistic.  The other poster forgot to add rubber gloves and axle grease.