If a child has been grounded to the house should they be allowed to have fun overnights at the grandparents?

Question

My daughter is very close to her grandparents and loves to spend time with them. Recently, we grounded her from going anywhere and her grandparents think it is wrong to ground her from going over to their house. I told them they could come to our house and visit with her when she is on punishment. Does this seem fair?

Answer 1

Yes that seems fair. You can't have double standards because your daughter will soon learn to use her grandparents against you.  They also have to accept your rules for your daughter.

Answer 2

It depends on your personal definition of "grounding."  Usually, the purpose of grounding is to make life rather unpleasant for the child through boredom and missing enjoyable activities.  Sometimes other people, such as grandparents, get caught in the middle.

If you feel that she will get the message from being grounded even if her grandparents visit, by all means allow this.

On the other hand, YOU are the parent.  The grandparents are not always going to agree with your parenting style, but in the end, it is your decision.  

As long as you are making the best decision for your daughter, and not caving into pressure from others, you are doing the right thing.

Be well.

Answer 3

I think it seems fair.  Because you know if she goes over to her grandparents she is going to have fun and when you are grounded that means you shouldn't be doing things that are fun.  I say stick to your guns.  I have a son and when he is grounded I tell him that means you are supposed to have zero fun.  We have canceled things before because of him being grounded.  Otherwise what's the point of grounding them.  Good luck.

Answer 4

I don't believe in grounding kids.  I believe in setting rules, accetuating the positive behavior and letting them know how disappointed I am in them when they don't behave...I also believe in earning privleges, my kids don't automatically get to watch television, play video games or go on the computer unless they have earned those privliges.  It's called discipline.

Answer 5

It depends. where do the grandparents live. If they live far away then they should be able to hang out.

If they live down the road, then no! there should be no fun. She can have fun when she is not grounded.

You are doing the right thing. When they come to the house, the rules of no fun should still be engaged.

Do the crime, Do the time!   don't add loopholes!

Answer 6

Fair is Fair and your punishment is absolutely Fair.

Answer 7

Yes.

Don't ground the grandparents.

I guess by allowing them to come over, you're not excluding them from her, I don't know it's tough. But it seems like you're being fair.

Answer 8

grounding is grounding, if you give in to one thing , then you might as well let her do as she wishes , i know that sounds hard, but for her own good she has to learn there are rules and if she breaks them then she will be punished , her grandparents should know better . it will be you that will have a teenager on your hands sooner or later . i do not care what any body says kids really do like knowing what they can and can`t do. and yes kids will be kids and they will push you to your limit , but do not back down on your rules. the other thing is , i use to give my daughter a choice of punishment , that worked really well.

Answer 9

I think this is a hard question to answer, because we don't know how old your daughter is, or what she did that resulted in being grounded.

If she's close to being a teenager, I think you could let her go to her grandparent's house to visit.  When they hit those p*****n years and beyond, being "grounded" means no communication with friends, because that really hurts at that age!   A visit to grandparents is still spending time with family, and should be outside the realm of "grounding."

But if she's much younger, then there aren't too many activities you could ground her FROM, so I think you would have to include grandparent visits in this.

Answer 10

It'll make her think twice next time.  Removal of priviliges is an invaluable tool in behavior management.  I agree, keep her home.  It is not the grandparents decision.

Answer 11

I have three and when I say grounded they know I mean grounded.  The only exception is if they have a school event that they have to attend such as a concert or something.  My mother also feels it is unfair and I simply told her remember when we were kids did you let us go to grandma when we got in trouble.  That made her think and she has never questioned us again.

Answer 12

Rules are rules, it should be included in the grounding.  I would hate to deprive my parents of time w/ our children, but maybe it will make the child think twice next time!

Answer 13

Sounds fair to me. Shes grounded. No fun for her until punishment is over.