If a child has emotional/behavioral disorder, is it reasonable or wrong to punish them?

Question

I consider it wrong. You shouldn't have to be punished for what you can't control. EX: If a 7-yr. old emotionally disturbed kid throws a temper tantrum to the point of having to be restrained, because a 4th grade bully tripped them @ recess, why does the ED child get punished & not the bully? & the teacher says, "Well, I punished YOU b/c I told you to ignore him. No recess for a week for you."

Is this fair punishment or not? Yes, I was treated like this. I just want to know if this was right or abuse/mistreatment from the teachers. & I just want to be prepared, just in case if I have kids one day, & my kids get treated like this by bullies & teachers. What would be the proper way to handle this situation?

Answer 1

The bully should have been punished, for touching, pushing, tripping or teasing another child, and it should be a suitable punishment. The child with the emotional/behavioural disorder reacted in such a way due the situation was not dealt with appropriately.

With children with behavioural/emotional disorders still needs to learn, socially appropriate behaviours, and should have had at lest some sort of punishment for acting in such a way, I would have made the child sit quietly for a few minutes and explain why.

It is in appropriate to say to a child with behaviour issues to ignore bullies, as they don't understand the concept of ignore, or walk away etc, they learn by modeling behaviours from fellow students and adults.

I do not agree with taking away recess for any child, as this is a valuable time for the children to run and play, (it burns of some pent up energy) and they are more able to focus after recess, if a child is made to sit while others play, will cause resentment, fidgeting and in attention when back in class.

Answer 2

Your question touches on moral and philosophical standards.  I understand you would not punish them for the small things they cannot control, but:

Would you punish your child if he used a weapon and severely injured another person?

Your probable answer to my above question is Yes.  You see, we all develop boundaries for which we think things are ok or moral.  Ex:  Taking a pen from work is not as bad as taking something from a jewelry store.

So for you, and your child, your punishments are your personal preference.  As for the teacher, your child must obey and maintain the same standards as the other students.  Granted, he/she may have their own issues, it does not excuse any misbehavior.  Schools need these rules in order to keep consistency and fairness in a social environment.

Answer 3

depends, this child has a behavioral problem that has been noted, and in certain social situations, as public school is desigined to let us hone these social skills, a trained teacher will take one of the problems out of the equation and see if it helps, as the bully has the same rights to an education as anyone else and so goes for the kid with the disorder, tough choice for the teacher dont you think, but yet it still need's to be done, but then again I've seen some kids that need to be home schooled by Mommy never punish my precious baby, cause the rest of us cant stand the little dirt bag!! s***w the social skills! it's a DNA thing!

Answer 4

This is a touchy one.  I have a special needs son and have encountered many similar situations. In these cases, I have gone to the principal and told her pretty much the same things you said.  While the SpecEd kids do need to be held accountable for their behaviors, the punishment needs to be tailored to their situations.  There cannot be an across-the-board consequence like with the non-SpecEd kids.  I've even had to go above the principal's  head to the Special Ed dept on a few occasions. The main thing I could advise you is, keep very involved.  If the school and teachers think for one minute that you aren't paying attention to what''s going on, they will run all over you and your child will suffer.  

Answer 5

you have to figure out what they cant control and what they can. punishment is definitely necessary though