If a father abandons his child?

Question

Once that child is an adult and gives the father a second chance only to be betrayed again do you think now that the father is ill and only has a few months left to live that the child should give the father forgiveness. Note, the father is not sorry for his actions this is all due to the fear of death.

Answer 1

No.

Answer 2

Personally, I wouldn't give the guy the time of day, but I hold grudges and have a harder time healing from things like this.

I never told the man that sexually abused me for 12 years that I had fogiven him before he died from cancer. He wasn't sorry and he didn't deserve it, and besides that I hadn't actually forgiven him.  

Answer 3

You have to do whats best for you at this point. He is dying and won't feel a thing.

If it'll make you feel better to just ignore him, so be it.

But I would take this opportunity to tell him exactly how I feel and fight the will while he is alive the son-of-a-bit*h.

Answer 4

Whether it be forgivness or not the adult child needs to be at peace with the decision they make.

Something they can live with for the rest of their life with no regrets.

Answer 5

Has your father said he is not sorry?  Maybe he is, but does not know how to express it to you, considering your hostility toward him (not that it's not warranted).  I think the fact that he has remarried is pointless.  If you have not had any real contact, do you really think he should leave everything to you?  Whether you decide to forgive him or not is completely up to you...you know what he has done.  But please know that the forgiveness is really more for you than for him.  How are you going to feel if he dies, and you have not forgave him?  As long as you can live with that, then fine.  If not, then let the past go.  It makes no sense to hold a grudge for the rest of your life.

Answer 6

No he does not deserve it...

Answer 7

Would it hurt you to forgive a dying man? Even if that man has betrayed you, I think you should find it in your heart to forgive him. After all, he IS dying with no other chance to redeem his self in your eyes. Just do it or you, and at least YOU feel better.

Answer 8

You should encourage your son to do what he thinks would be the best for himself. If he can turn his back on the father and know that he will never regret it then encourage him to do so. I, personally, would encourage my child to be a better person than his dad has been and to not abandon him at the end of his life. However, it would be his choice and since it is a personal choice I'd stay out of it

Answer 9

family relationship are some of the hardest relationships to understand, one must look at the whole picture of where the relationship is and where is was or wasn't at all..people give others many chances to make a relationship work..one has to look at everything and what is best for them whether or not they truly want a relationship with their father or mother or son or daugther.

Answer 10

you may not believe this but to forgive is a great relief for the one who is forgiving the bad acts.

This will help you more than him

Answer 11

No, what an ***...

Answer 12

in order for that child to go forward with their life they should forgive but that does not mean that they forget but they should forgive for their own peace of mind :)

Answer 13

I guess I'm the odd one here, but I say forgive him.  Not for his benefit but for the child's.  Hate and anger will fester.  Forgiving someone dosen't mean you have to forget you were wronged.

Answer 14

Man, I know this situation all too well... My dad use to beat me, my sisters, and my mom. We separated from him about 12 years ago. Just 4 months ago, my mom died from cancer... and he and my mom never made peace (although my mom told me that she forgave him). My dad isn't dying, we don't get along at all, but I do think about how its going to be if he were dying. He probably isn't sorry for what he did, and he's going to stick with his beliefs til he dies. But the only way for YOU to move on is to forgive him. Not because he wasn't at fault, but because you are a bigger/different person than he is.

Answer 15

yeah we all deserves another chance and plus he is going to die soon he needs someone there for him  

Answer 16

Nope..  forgiveness should be earned not given just because he is dying .. he is probably not sorry for what he did

Answer 17

YES.....Because the father will always be the father of that child. Maybe the day he is forgiven by his son,he will truly  recognize his mistakes and all the wrong he did. Don't ever hold a grudge because it will hurt you and no one else.