If a man got child custody along with child support?

Question

And he spent the money on prostitutes and booze but the children were well taken care of, would the ex or society have any right to judge him?.

Answer 1

i would!

Answer 2

Of course his ex has a right- he has her child!

You aren't supposed to spend the money on anything but the child- it's not YOUR money. Prostitutes and booze are not beneficial to a child in any way.

The ex can go back and say your behavior is not appropriate and you'll lose the child. So yes society has a right to judge as well, it's all about the child's best interest.

Answer 3

What, *all* the money?  In that case I can't see how the children could have been looked after properly.  But maybe *some* of the money...  And bear in mind that if he has custody he should be looking after them most of the time and not handing them over to someone else to look after...

I think lots of men spend their money on booze.  And a significant number spend money on prostitutes.  

I think the ex would probably judge him if he were spending significant amounts of time drunk or with prostitutes.  But if we're talking a couple of hours on a weekend, maybe it's none of her business.

I think society would probably judge him by the same standards as his ex.  

I think the moral and ethical issues surrounding prostitution are almost entirely separate from the ethical issues of custody, assuming the children don't come into contact with the prostitutes.  

But frankly, if it were my ex, I'd kick his *** into next month!

Answer 4

Well, I think most people would define "well taken care of" as being completely at odds with "spent the money on prostitutes and booze."

One can't exactly do the best job raising their child if they have no money, let alone if they spent it all to have s*x and get drunk. So yes, people definitely should take a closer look at that situation, and judgements would definitely be made.

Answer 5

If the children were well taken care of, whatever pot he took the money out of for his private life is up to him (assuming he has other income or the children would not be well taken care of?).  

However, Max, I certainly hope he is not out with the prostitutes or boozing when he should be with his children or setting that as an example for them of what is right and wrong.

Answer 6

How do you know which dollars were spent on providing for the child and which dollars were spent on booze & women?

And how do you define "well taken care of"?

As long as he hired proper babysitters and the children were not exposed to his adult activities, he's fine, in Nevada.  In any other state he's committing a crime.

Answer 7

The ex might, but the law probably wouldn't.

Answer 8

TV news would show this every five minutes & it would make the front pages of newspapers.  Women would be "buzzing" about this and his children would be taken away and placed in foster homes.

Answer 9

A person who spends their TIME with prostitutes and booze rather than raising their children should not have custody of them.

The only factor in the divorce equation that isn't there by their own choice, whether choice of spouse, choosing to divorce, etc..is a child.  They didn't ask for any of it.

Personally speaking, as the soon to be former employee of a public school corporation, I am sick to death of dealing with other peoples' children,  who are the responsibility of parents who are too often too busy doing as they please to properly raise their own children.

Answer 10

this question doesnt make sense, if the children are well taken care of then money is spent on them, equal or more to what hes being paid, so actually hes spending his own money on  drink and hookers

Answer 11

Substance abuse is grounds to have visitation rights cut off, nevermind custody.  In addition, this parent would not be serving as an appropriate role model.  Society, the police, the courts... all have the right to judge when it comes to substance abuse.

players2 made an excellent point: prostitution is illegal, so under the law he's involved in criminal activity.

This man is using child support monies to support his drinking and prostitution activities.  The children don't benefit in any way.  So basically, our hedonist friend is stealing from his own children.

Answer 12

Well, yes. At least for the prostitution part. Still illegal in 49 of 50 states. Unless he lives in Nevada...does he live in Nevada? If not, then all sorts of laws come into play.  

Answer 13

Well, except that prostitution is "judged" to be illegal...at least in this neck of the woods. And how is he able to spend so much time carousing with hookers and boozing it up if he's a single parent?

Anyway, honestly, if the kids are WELL taken care of, what's the difference? Obviously he's chipping in to make up the difference elsewhere. The result is the same.

BUT "well taken care of" means that (depending on the amount) money is put aside for college, the housing is paid for, the electricity is on, there is plenty of nutritious food, clothing is adequate, school supplies are plentiful, enriching diversions are available (e.g. trips, outings to the zoo, extra-curricular activities), hygiene supplies are bought, there is gas to get them where they need to go, and the house is properly cared for and clean (which also costs money.) If all of THAT is attended to WELL, then good on him if he can squeeze a few bucks out of the typical child support payment of $250 a month for a little diversion! Lol...my point being that it ain't gonna happen, typically. With the typical payment being what it is, it barely covers food and gas each month.

Answer 14

Nope, but they always judge upon what they see; and that's where the judgment comes from.

Answer 15

Assuming the majority of the money went to food, clothing, shelter, etc. and the children were never exposed to the prostitutes or the booze in any way . . . well, maybe not.

Answer 16

He should judged and held accountable for his lack of morals.  The children might be well cared for but are they being exposed to his lifestyle choices?

Answer 17

So the mortgage on the home is completely paid off, so there's zip chance of the children ever being homeless.

The house is in wonderful condition, with zero repairs needing to be done.

All bills, including auto and credit cards are COMPLETELY paid off, in case the father is laid off, there will be no financial worries.

There is at least three months of financial cushion in the bank, to pay all bills (electric, phone, medical insurance, ect) in case the father is laid off (better if it was 6 months worth of money, not 3).

There is at least a three month supply of food in the house, in case of illness, or job loss for the father.

The medical insurance is completely paid on the children and the father a year in advance.

The father has at least a 2 million dollar life insurance policy pre paid on himself at least a year in advance.

The children's college education funds are COMPLETELY paid for (even for the child who wishes to become an M.D., or better yet, PhD.)

The children all have at least $10,000 socked away into retirement accounts for them, since Social Security will probably not exist when they retire.

The children have craft/art supplies, and toys that allow them to use their imagination (like Legos, NOT video games), AND the children have a vast personal library of hundreds of books, which they have been taught to read.

If the Dad has met all those obligations, then heck no, zero problems with him boozing and whoring about...he's earned it!  However if a single item has not been met, the children are not "well taken care of," and he's a selfish b@$tard.

~Garnet

Permaculture homesteading/farming over 20 years

Answer 18

That depends.  Is he drinking around his kids, or bringing prostitutes to the house while the kids are there?  Is he leaving the kids home alone to go drinking and s******g?  Or is he spending more time drinking and s******g than he is with his kids?

And yes - actually, the ex has plenty of right to judge him.  If he uses the child support money for booze and hookers, then he isn't being responsible for the children's welfare.  What his ex is paying in child support is supposed to be going towards things the children need that are above and beyond what the father is providing.  The money isn't a free pass for him to go party.

Answer 19

It is a double standard in our society. When women have custody there allowed to abuse them, murder them, do drugs and other illegal activities and child services and other feminist controlled elements of the government support them.

But when a man has custody he has to walk egg shells.

Answer 20

It's a question of whether we judge people based on outcomes or intentions.

His intentions were terrible yet the outcome was in most respects good. He clearly isn't a good person but we cannot judge his actions since there were no real consequences.

I'm sure the ex wouldn't be happy though and she would have a right to judge his intentions since it could easily have meant the kids would not be well taken care of