If a man is in his 50's, has venous insufficiency and is depressed but in treatment, is there any chance he'll

Question

ever want s*x again?

I keep hearing that if a couple loses their s*x life in the mid years, they'll never get it back. I'm 40 and my husband is 50. We haven't been sexually active in 4 years (not consistently active in more than 12 years of our 15 year marriage).

He never mentions s*x. He never initiates. When I try, he says he wants to, but not now.

He saw a urologist who prescribed ED meds for him and I thought thinks were looking up. But he lost them. It's been a month, and not only has he not taken them, but he's not looking for them.

I know that this has to be difficult for him, but I feel really rejected. I don't want the rest of our lives to be celibate - especially if they don't have to be.

I've asked a few questions before and have been called insensitive for wanting to be intimate with my husband. Please don't tell me to just get a vibrator. It's not just s*x. It's feeling wanted and being held and really being kissed.

We've tried counseling....

Answer 1

He did not lose any pills, he does not want to have s*x.  Until you get him to spill what this is really about you are going around in circles.  I would corner him and not let him vague out about the whole issue.  Viagra is a dime a dozen, does he need you to score him some?

Answer 2

This is something you and your husband should talk about very seriously.

Answer 3

When someone is depressed they feel that they are the problem.  I know that it is you that feels unwanted/unloved but it is very difficult for a man to initiate intercourse if he feels he will fail to function properly.  Low self esteem will usually result in low libedo especially in males.  What you need to do is work on his self esteem and when this has been raised then you can work on the other.  Your husband needs to know that you can both be close without him thinking you are going to want intercourse.  When this happens the 'pressure' to perform will slowly go away.  

Our doctor said to us that anyone over the age of 35 must take a calcium supplement.  He recommended Liquid calcium as it absorbed into the blood stream quicker.  Myself and my wife have been taking it and to say the change has been dramatic would be an understatement.  A deficiency in calcium can lead to irritability, high blood pressure, panic attacks, depression, muscle spasms to name but a few things.  When you are depressed you do not feel like doing much, let alone getting close to someone.  I would advise you to both start on the liquid calcium and do things together that he will see as not ending with s*x.  It is a long journey but it has to start with the first step.  Take that first step together with no pressure.