If a rattlesnake bit me on the prostate, what sort of first aid would you administer?

Question

"Best Answer" is still available...

Answer 1

Considering your prostate is on the inside of your body... I wouldn't be able to administer much of anything.

And not just because I'd be rolling on the ground laughing at the mental image of how you managed to get you prostate bitten.

Answer 2

I would let you die because your question sucks prostate.

Answer 3

Sorry, man, you're dead.

Answer 4

I suggest a phone number to a really good shrink.

Answer 5

cut off your balls right away lol it will keep the venom from spreading lol

Answer 6

Lol i like you randomness, reminds me of myself lol you shoul probably think of a way to get the snake out of your *** first =P

Answer 7

A snake went up your *** and bit your prostate?

Go to the hospital

Answer 8

hmm what were you doing with the rattle snake if it bit your prostate?

Answer 9

what were you doing to the snake to get bit there????

Answer 10

I'm going to ignore the fact that this would involve putting a rattlesnake inside your r****m and say that if it DID happen to bite you at all, you should go to the hospital immediately but do not attempt to drive yourself if you can help it. The doctor would treat you with Antivenin (CroFab).

Answer 11

A diagram showing the location of the prostate gland can been seen here: http://www.phoenix5.org/prostatedraw.htm...

Look at it and you will realize there is no exterior portion and it lies entirely within the lower abdomen. When a doctor performs a digital rectal exam of the prostate a portion can be felt or palpated via the thin wall of the r****m however the doctor's digit must penetrate a distance to the spot. For a snake to bite the prostate, either the prostate has been removed outside the body or the snake would have to enter the r****m for a distance and bite through the colon wall in just the right place.  There would be no first aid procedure to administer, however surgery would be required to resolve complications.

As silly as the question might sound, there is little that can be imagined that some human has not tried. If your question is bogus, perhaps you will try it and prove the point. If it is not a bogus question you have my sympathy and answer.

Answer 12

i would recuse the rattlesnake before you... weirdo!

Answer 13

Well in order to reach your prostate the snake would have to already be a couple inches inside your r****m I assume that you two already have an agreement/relationship and I will not interfere.

Answer 14

Well then, considering I'm a dude who does love females, I would call 911 and hope they would arrive on time.

Assuming they don't and there's absolutely no way, I would hope for the best my friend; maybe find you a blood-sucking fish nearby; if there is none to avail, I would bust out the finest champagne I own and enjoy your last moments together.

Hope I helped lad.

Answer 15

I'd call the funeral home.  You're going to die, buddy.  And how did a snake crawl up that far to bite your prostate gland?

Answer 16

It'd need to be extracted (vacuum or manual sucking :O!) and then treated with the anti-venom.

Answer 17

Why would you shove a snake up our a s s, oh your g*y.