If a teacher can keep discipline in her classroom for 20 students....

Question

then, why do some parents have difficulty maintaining discipline at home? I have been teaching for the past 4 years,and I have great classroom management. I just do not understand how some parents are unable to control one or two of their own children, but I can keep control of 20 ...I just don't see how that is possible. I do not have children yet, so please enlighten me as to why you think this is a recurring problem in homes? Thanks!

Answer 1

most children have vastly different personalities outside of their home

at home, certain kids are bosy, mean, rude and talk back to their parents

at school. they are too shy to even approach the teacher

i have noticed this behavior especially in asian children

but even my own family, i know someone who is totally different outside of the house.  at home, she talks back to family and does whatever she wants

at school, she is too shy to even approach the librarian to discuss a overdue library fine.

gosh----why is that?

Answer 2

You set rules. You enforce them. They do not. They have been parents for years before you met them. Their children have expectations and know what went on before. You can start a new class every year changing the rules for improvement. They are stuck with past bargains.

Answer 3

naw teacher cant even handle 2 our spanish teacher quit her job and went on vacation cause of us lol

Answer 4

some parents justdont know how to modify a childs behavior. they just cant be consistant with the dicipline such as how teachers are. If a person isnt consistant then the child will not be consistant.

Answer 5

Teachers go through years of training for what they do.  Parenting, unfortunately, is a "learn as you go" skill.

Answer 6

Well that's because kids have a different respect for schools than their own homes. You can get away with more at home, act out and such. Schools are mostly zero tolerance.

Answer 7

They get home, they're tired from working all day. Then the kids nag, and at first they keep it in check.

But at one point, they're tired and give in. This one thing becomes more and more.

Answer 8

Some parents let their kids do whatever they want ,so they dont have to be bothered with them. The kids think they are the grown-ups, and the parents loose control. The kids then get labelled with ADHD. Give them firm rules and bounderies, parents should let kids know who is the boss. Kids like discipline, it makes them feel loved and safe, some grown-ups havent realised that yet.

Answer 9

The kids know just how far they can push before they get into trouble.  At school it is about an inch at home it maybe a light year.  My SIL son walks all over his mom but when someone else is in charge he is an angel.  My kids know better because I will punish them no matter where we are and they know it(there are corners everywhere).  Some parents teach their kids that when they say no it really means if you keep pushing it the answer will turn into a yes.

Answer 10

whel in school u learn about thing in like different subject but at home its all different. like at home if a kid gets angry he yels and screams. but at school the kid wouldnt yell or scream because he would get embaresed infront of alll the other kids. and there are so many more reasons why its different but um controling kids at home is a lot harder than at school

Answer 11

bad parenting ...good teachers

Answer 12

Many parents interact with their children with a laissez faire attitude nowadays. Go to your local grocery store and you will see what I mean.

Answer 13

so what, i drove a school bus for years and maintained discipline extremely well for 72 students while driving in traffic.

Answer 14

Well, sometimes parents are worried that their child or children will hate them so they are scared to discipline them.

Answer 15

Children today seem to grow up faster than before...they are exposed to new things...including new attitudes.  10 year olds know things I learned in high school!!!and many of them have the attitude of a teenager too!!! Many parents are great and have great kids...and most would be shocked if they spent a week (make that a day) in a classroom today!!!!

I disagree entirely that the children are different in school just because they don't know the teacher well...some children spend 12 hours of their day with teachers and day care workers and go home to spend about half that time with mum and dad and the rest sleeping...it's not parents fault per se...just the way society is today.

Focus on the kids that's your job...we love them don't we???  If they are happy with you don't worry about how they are at home...when you have a kid probably yours won't be like that!

Answer 16

because ur kids r more comfortable around u & care less about whether they annoy u or not.

Answer 17

Well I have been in plenty of classroom and I have seen lots of good class management and probably even more bad classroom management.  It is great that you have the skills.  Skills that were likely partially in your nature and partially taught to you during your education.

Being a parent is no different.  Some have inheritant skill for it and some do not.  And unlike being a teacher there aren't required parenting classes.  And remember you have the kids for no more than 7 hours.  Being a parent is a 24/7 job.  I am sure that you will make a wonderful parent, but I do believe that you assume too much.  It is harder (and at times more fun) than it looks.

Answer 18

Because as a teacher, you're a temporary part of a child's life, and will be replaced in a year or two, depending on what you teach. It's also seen in supermarkets and such when children misbehave until a stranger tells them to quit doing something, they will immediately do so and run for their parents to tell them what the stranger said. In devolping a relationship with your individual child you want to encourage your child with the idea that mom and/or dad will always be there for them, no matter what they do. So they know they can pull down curtains and misbehave because they get what they want, attention, and that mom or dad won't punish them beyond what they've come to expect. I consider myself a mean mommy, lol, my brat is only 19 months and is starting to misbehave, but we have a rigid schedule, she knows what she can and can't do, but  she's testing the boundaries. I fully intend to have her follow a lot of the rules I grew up with, including coming in the house no later than when the street lights come on, and going to bed no later than 9 pm no matter what age. I don't care if she wants to stay up all night and run around her room, which doesn't and won't have a tv in it until shes at least 14, but she will stay in her room after 9 pm. We started with discipline and she gets time outs, and she knows she has to clean up after herself too. We taught her that last winter when she wanted out of the tub to get dried off and into some warm jammies, she had to hand us all her tub toys first. But a lot of parents don't care or get neurotic about the laws concerning child rearing, they are a lot more strict than they were. And the kids are scarier. I think my favorite bumper sticker says it all "Don't hit children; No, seriously, they have guns now", lol.  

Answer 19

Some parents flat out just don't care.  Other parents like to have a "friendship" with their kids instead of being a parent.  Other times the parents don't start out with discipline early in the child's life then wonder why the child controls them as they get older.

Answer 20

Its because its a different generation today... The home even with both parents are even considered broken homes. The best way to tell a good parent, is to communicate with them, one on one. Life style, up bringing, habits; both sanitary and etiquicy(please correct this), Usually are the determining factors. If the parents are lost, then sweatheart.... the child will undoubtedly be lost as well. Nurturing the home is where it begins.... You are right! When parents are always talking about bad teachers, crooked cops, unsafe streets, guns on the streets, beware of this as well! This is an indicator of parents wanting a social order to discipline their children as they have no leverage or understanding at home. Thus lost children! Video games entertain, 'go outside now', etc..... No involvment or investment in the childs life! To be a mom or a dad is one thing to be a caring parent is another. Thank you for asking a brilliant question. I believe the only ones answering this though, will be caring parents. A good number of parents dont have any business being parents! Parenting takes planning!!!! Alex E has no understanding!!!!! dont listen to that rhetoric! IT DOES BEGIN IN THE HOME!

Answer 21

Parents recieve nothing for parenting 24/7 while a teacher is paid to control these children for 7 hours 5 days a week

parents do it for nothing teachers do it for a living

Answer 22

First of all, most good parents don't have trouble keeping control (I really don't like that word for this context, but I'm not sure how else to say it without people misunderstanding me, so I'll cringe and then leave it) of their children. My sister and I have always been very well behaved, as have most of the kids my age that I know.

That being said, the situations are quite different. I'm not sure what grade you teach, but the kids are only with you for a few hours, and if they do get out of control, they risk detention, suspension, possibly even expulsion (if they do something REALLY bad). Kids are more likely to be well behaved for that short period of time to avoid such consequences.

At home, the kids are there all the time, and so eventually, most kids will show their "dark" (less well behaved, in some cases even bratty) sides at home. Everyone has imperfect moments, it's just more extreme in some cases.

Not only that, but parents are responsible for raising kids from the very beginning. A teacher only needs to reinforce the good behaviors that are already there and discourage bad behaviors. They aren't working from scratch.

That being said, I'm not defending parents who let their kids run wild, and I'm often appalled by the kinds of things some kids get away with.

As to your response to dmnshnlz (please pardon my response to your response, but I just wanted to add my two cents worth): I can't answer for all kids and teens of this generation, so I'll just answer for myself. I'm seventeen, so I'm pretty much at the prime age to be fulfilling every negative stereotype (I don't, but I'm at the age that a lot of them are aimed at).

It's true, I don't fear authority. Honestly, I don't know why anyone would want me to. I don't really see how it would serve me or anyone else. That being said, I do act respectful towards authority, just as I act respectful towards everyone else. Not all teenagers are the menaces that so many people make them out to be. I know more mature, responsible, and altogether wonderful teenagers than I do "bad" teenagers. Unfortunately, no one ever mentions us.

It isn't anything inherent in this generation (and believe me when I say that there were adults saying all the same exact things about your generation, and probably the one before that - though I don't actually know anyone who can vouch for that last mentioned generation). If a parent takes care to raise their kid to be the best person that they can be, then that is how they will turn out. Simple as that.

Answer 23

You do have a principal at your school right? well I'm sure if more of us parents had one at home that we would have better control, I have four kids and I do the best that I can and I can tell you that my children are very respectful, sometimes they can get out of control but hey you can't expect kids to sit in one place for long periods of time

Answer 24

I think children are more afraid of strangers than they are of their parents. I mean after a while they get used to their parents disciplining them, and eventually they figure out how to get around it. In school its embarrassing to get yelled at in front of all the other kids, so they would try harder not to get in trouble. Also you are only their teacher for one school year, they dont have time to get to know you really. Also people dont spank their kids anymore, i was spanked when i was little and i turned out fine. People dont discipline their kids anymore, they think saying "no thats bad!" is actually doing something. Well its not, because im tired of watching their little "angels" scream and bawl and throw a tantrum and totally get away with it, its annoying.