If adoptees don't want to or need to know their culture or heritage...

Question

then why is there an entire community of adoptees that label themselves Trans-Racial Adoptees? On top of that, why are there books, seminars, groups, and community support networks developed to support adoptive families raising TRA's and TRA's themselves? If teaching an adoptee about his/her culture isn't important, then why has all of this come into existence if it its so... nonchalant?

http://www.nysccc.org/T-Rarts/T-Rarts.html for the tip of the ice berg...

Answer 1

who says it is not important?

Answer 2

I think it is important that children know about their heritage and the cultural background of their family that includes their birth family.  I am not adopted but my cousin adopted a beautiful little boy that is biracial and she does want him to know about different cultures including that of his african american birthfathers side.  It is all a part of knowing who you are and where you came from.  

Answer 3

Hi Thomas Atwood Sucks!,

Honestly that is how i used to feel about myself.  Its unfortunate that more of us weren't raised to be proud of our culture, but i find that way of thinking is pretty normal IRL.

Once i became a mother of an adoptee that all changed for me.  It is stressed over and over again how important culture and heritage is to an adoptee.  So we started celebrating AA and Italian cultures.  It is empowering and cool, as someone watching from the sidelines.  My other children starting asking why we don't celebrate their culture.  Well, we are "mutts", so i let each child pick a culture that we could learn about.  Little did i know the sense of pride that grew in me as well.  

I think if you aren't exposed to learning your own culture/heritage you don't understand just how important and empowering it is.  Its never too late to start, and its actually fun.  Our dominate cultural learning is African American, Italian, & Ethiopian and in our free time we learn about Scottish, German, and Swiss cultures.  Just my humble opinion on the matter:)

Answer 4

I think its extremely important especially if your nparents are from another country and don't speak English.

I think Ap's that do not support and get involved in it, are either ignorant and/or too lazy to be bothered despite how its going to possibly affect their a-child when they get older.

Those type of parents shouldn't be adopting children from countries where English isn't spoken. Its not fair to the children.

Edit: Niels, you're very intuitive. After reading your post, two people came to mind and both of them posted here. I hope for their a-children they can open their minds a little bit and grasp some of your insight.

Answer 5

of course it's important!

Answer 6

Perhaps if you worded your questions as "If some adoptees don't want to or need to know their culture or heritage..."

Not all adoptees want to know anything about their culture or heritage in the same way that not all non-adoptees want to know about their culture or heritage.  I think what turns me off most about many of these questions is the assumption that all adoptees MUST be feeling the same things or MUST be in mourning or MUST be curious.  

My brother, who is my parents biologic child, is in his mid 40's.  He's just started researching our family history and has managed to track things back about 5 generations now.  I find this relevant to this question for one major reason.  Up until now he never cared about his culture, other then the culture he was born into, and he never thought much about his heritage.  If he, as a non adoptee (or even myself as an adoptee) can not care about our ancestral culture and heritage till now there should be no problem with adoptees who feel the same.

Everybody is different in what they consider important and relevent to who and what they are.  If someone wants to know about it, they will know.  If they don't want to know about it, I don't think that means they are "rejecting" anything in a negative way as much as they are "accepting" something new.

Answer 7

Speaking as a TRA who has been trying very hard to relearn her original heritage, I must remind you that not ALL adoptees feel this way.

Answer 8

I couldn't say it better than Randy B.

You are making this an "adoptee thing" when it is not.  Culture is something EVERYBODY has now and in their background--not just adoptees.   If you are an American citizen, your ancestors immigrated here FROM somewhere.  As someone said, America is a melting pot of cultures.  I have traced my ancestors back to when they immigrated to this great country, but none of my siblings are even interested.  It is MY interest--not theirs but they are still good people and I certainly don't criitize them for theri non-interest.

Answer 9

I think in essence all adoptees want to know about their heritage and as all the different ethnicity specific adoptee support groups indicate, many of them are pretty open about their want and/or need to learn about or reconnect with their heritage.

There are also adoptees that are adamantly defiant towards their heritage, which doens't impy they have no interest, on the contrary, they have a strong interest, but a negative one, based on hatred towards that heritage, often based on question like: why did my mother abandon me? why did my family abandon me? Why did my country abandon me?

Then there are adoptees that claim to have no interest. I think that often is an indication the adoptee is not all that much grounded. Fear of being rejected, while at the same time desperately wanting to belong, can overshadow the desire to learn about or reconnect with ones heritage. Many over-compliant adoptees claim no interest out of fear of disappointing their adoptive parents. Sometimes the triggers can be very subtle. In my case my adoptive parents were not opposed to me wanting to know about my natural mother or my desire to meet her, but I felt their fear of it too, so I claimed no interest and faked an identity that wasn't mine.