If an adopted persons personality was to please people did they get that from genetics or how they where raise

Question

if an adopted persons personality was pleasing people did they get that from genetics or how they where rasied by there adoptive family

Answer 1

Neither.  I got it from fear of (another) rejection.

Answer 2

The way they were raised xxxx

Answer 3

Heather B has it correct.  The young adoptee in my life does everything possible to win positive attention from her amom  even though nothing she does ever seems to be good enough.  

She is coming to live with us when she turns 18 and I'm afraid that she will continue to try and please out of fear that I will reject her.  It will be a long road to healing because of this very thing.  

I'll be happy when she is able to get mad and yell at me without fearing that it is the worst possible thing to happen or that I will follow the patterns that have been put in place by her amom/foster care system.

Answer 4

Genetics play a huge role in who we are. More so than I think many people would like to admit. There are several studies about this including the twin study mentioned above. (I have to add that I think the twin study was cruel and should not have been done.)

The rest of who you are is nurture and life experiences. I certainly believe situations like adoption can make a person more prone the particular trait you refer to as stated by others here.

Family are not the only people who shape you. The whole world and people you interact with help shape you and how you handle things as well.

Certainly some genetic traits can be changed, shaped, suppressed or overcome by life experiences but others are just permanently a part of who you are.

Answer 5

I think it's their circumstances, maybe they fear rejection again if they don't make everybody happy. Just my opinion.

Answer 6

Mostly from genetics.  The Twins studies at Univ. of MN do strongly indicate that most personality traits are inherited.  You can't MAKE someone be a people pleaser, in other words, although someone who is raised in a family with a lot of conflict can certainly learn to get people to negotiate to reduce the conflict. Clearly, as other posters have indicated, your personality can be shaped by your environment, but the underlying personality is really there at birth.

Answer 7

I'm with Heather on this one.  Fear of rejection will change a person's natural personality pretty d**n quick.  I'm not adopted, but I have major abandonment/rejection issues, and it's not based on any kind of genetics.  I wasn't wanted, and my mom made that VERY clear.  If I had been wanted, I'd be a loud, brash, fun-loving hippie...and I'm working on getting to know that natural version of myself.

Answer 8

BOTH

Answer 9

Many adoptees are people pleasers. It think it comes from being abandoned by the people who were supposed to protect us. It's a defense mechanism to ensure that we don't get abandoned again. It's the whole Primal Wound thing.

It is not genetic.

Answer 10

Personally, I think it's all in the way they were raised and the example set for them by the adults in their lives. Genetics can definately play a part....but in my personal opinion and experience a persons upbringing has everything to do with the quality of person they become as an adult.

Answer 11

the way they were raised.

Answer 12

Their are 16 basic personalities.  4 top level with a subset of 4 bottom level.  The combination allows for 16 basic personalities.  

I believe in both nature and nurture, placement in family, etc.  Everything effects someone's personality.  A middle child is more likely to branch out and be the bridge in a family, while the oldest if a boy is most likely to achieve greater potential.

Answer 13

Neither really - it's to do with the act of being taken from the mother at birth - and given to another.

Babies are hard-wired to know who their mothers are - as they grow during those 9 months in his/her mother's womb.

When they are taken away from their mother soon after birth - neuron pathways in the brain get messed up - and the baby instinctively knows that in order to survive - the baby must please the knew 'mother' - so as not to be given away to yet another 'mother' - and so on.

If an adoptive family insists that the adoptee must also be grateful for their circumstances in life - the effects are even more enhanced.

Check out this article -

http://www.healingresources.info/article...

And any of the articles on this blog - check down the list on the right hand side -

http://lizardchronicles.blogspot.com/

Answer 14

from the raising mainly but genetics could have a small input