If an atheist finds himself in heaven after death, what would he do?

Question

If an atheist finds himself in heaven after death, what would he do?

Answer 1

I'd demand to see the manager and ask what the h**l is going on. There had better be one good explanation, too.

Answer 2

He WILL say "...I heard about you Jesus!! I was GOING to start going to church and repent!!"

and Jesus will say

"Depart from me, I know you not."

Answer 3

  We will find out because they are all going there.. God assures the salvation of all(no exceptions)  God will never judge,condemn or punish, ( even those who continue to make bad choices in their lives)..I hope you are not among those still believing that h**l exists..God bless

Answer 4

he wouldn't go to heaven, cause he didn't believe in god. he'd wake up in h**l, along with the rest of us who don't believe.

Answer 5

((Say "Howdy" to all the Buddhists))  --    lol I like that answer

I would be happy , but I know nothing last in this world , neither Heaven or h**l  , soon or later the perpetual cycle of turning in circle will once again continue like it always did

Answer 6

I would scream in terror.

The idea of eternity is horrifying... consider this.  I love cheesecake.  If I ate cheesecake only once every 10 billion years in heaven during my eternal stay, I'd still eventually get tired of eating cheesecake.

Answer 7

He would be so confused and i would laugh hysterically.

Answer 8

I'd tell God he'd been a complete anal o*****e for pissing me about all these years!

Answer 9

I would begin rationalizing my surroundings away, because I'm probably still alive and dreaming. h**l DOES NOT EXIST. Jeez.

Answer 10

Well it would be h**l for him. He has to stay with the fundies for all eternity.

Answer 11

The same thing that a Christian would do when they died and that was it.

Actually the idea of existing eternally is enough to give me nightmares.

Answer 12

Will never happen Sorry.

Answer 13

Drink  mead till Ragnarok.

Answer 14

atheist wouldn't find herself in heaven because she never believed in God in order to go to heaven you have to believe there is one first

Answer 15

Anything he likes :)

As long as he remembers to be quiet when he walks past the Christian compound - they think they're the only ones up there

Answer 16

I would be really p*ssed off. I'd fly over to Limbo with the babies and hang out by the soda machine cursing to myself.

Answer 17

what coudl he do?

that still doesnt necessarily mean its a religious heaven or a heaven connected to god, and as you dont specify this in your question if i did id think 'wow cool, a heavenly dimension or plane, is my family here, is everyone here' and go looking about see whats going on

Answer 18

He would scream as the angels escort him down to h**l and explain that there has been a misunderstanding.

Answer 19

Be really surprised, I have to admit.  Not just my presence in Heaven, but by my very existence post-death.  

What I'd wonder is how the religious folk would react to the atheists getting into heaven.  The wailing and gnashing of teeth would be deafening.

Answer 20

If an atheist was in heaven, I would say that he would realize that regardless of the lack of faith he had in god when he was 'alive'-- he was ultimately a good person to even have had found himself in heaven in the first place.

I've noticed people say they are atheists as an excuse to 'sin'.

FYI: I am not religious, but I am a good person 8-)

Answer 21

After I got over the initial "wtf?!" factor, I would begin questioning. Why am I here, where is this place, who is the real God, etc.

After all -- If I ended up in Heaven, it would surely not be the doing of a God that is described in the bible.

Answer 22

Play a harp, presumably.

Answer 23

Say "Howdy" to all the Buddhists.

(Since an atheist in heaven obviously means that all Xian teachings are null and void.)

Answer 24

He wouldn't find himself there in the first place.

And, since Atheists don't believe in this "religious" stuff to begin with, they shouldn't even answer the question.

It's just a waste of their time.

Answer 25

Laugh my head off then realise it was a dream, or shall i say - a nightmare.

Answer 26

i would wonder what the h**l happened, the bible says atheists are going to h**l...i would be so disappointed...

Answer 27

Honestly, I think I'd be rather disappointed. It entirely depends, though. I don't think I'd really enjoy the biblical concept of Heaven.  

Answer 28

I'd say something along the lines of, "Get me Benjamin Franklin, Jimi Hendrix, and an air hockey table, post haste."

Answer 29

Depends.

Muslim heaven or Christian heaven?

If Muslim heaven, I'd go shopping at their special market.

If Christian heaven, I'd request a transfer.

I'm Atheist!

Answer 30

Try and find the beer volcano and the stripper factory.

Answer 31

I would p**s myself laughing.