If an "international" adotpted parent should help the country from which they adopted from...?

Question

Which, I have seen as opinions here several different times, then why shouldn't parents of domestically adopted parents help the biological parents/country of their children?

Answer 1

I think that assiting people in other countries and adoption are two completly separte issues.   If you have the funds or if you do chairty work anyway you may choose to give money to reputable organizations that give, money, food, clothing, ie aide to people in other contries.  This will help families stay together and they won't reach the point where they can't afford their child and half to give them up.

Now if you adopt a child  especially abroad why would you give money to their family.  One most international adoptions you don't know who the parents are.  The child comes from an orphanage.

Now what you can do but this is up to an individual and circumstances you can give money to that orphange to build better facilties and get better health services .

Answer 2

Good question.

I think that everyone does have a moral responsibility for altruism or charity, but that's not the question.  The question asks if being an adoptive parent brings with it, an extra moral obligation of chairty toward the family/culture from whence the child origninated.  And if that is true, why is that obligation only applied to one segment of adoptive parents (international) and not the other (domestic).

I think that in domestic adoptions there are much more boundary issues and potiential complications than in international adoptions.  I don't see many domestic adoption parents giving money/aid to their children's birthfamily.  I think that obligation is met in other ways, less direct, such as general charity, working on adoption reform and so on.  Maybe I'm wrong.

Virtually every international adoptive parent I know is involved with some kind of charity or support for their children's county of origin.  It's not mandated, of course, and there are laws already for how such aid is to be given.  But the implied obligation is certainly there.  Of course, simply throwing money at a third world country has never done anything to improve matters.  The West has been trying it for a LONG time and things keep getting worse.  Giving a birthfamily a lot of money, in a third world country, is more likely to cause harm than good.  Sorry to disappoint, but the problems in third world countries are much, much more complex than that.  

It's an interesting question!  have a star!

Answer 3

We should all be more generous and charitable, but it is never as easy as just giving money. Internationally, we've learned the lesson that giving food and improving nutrition without education and birth control often results in a bigger disaster than previously. Too, often the food and money do not make it to the needy-ending up in someone else's pockets or rotting on the docks. Domestically there actually are a number of programs although I think the focus is often on the wrong places (I'm for helping more with job training/education for single moms). Finally, many APs do not have tons and tons of money to "pass out". They take out 2nd morgages to adopt or loans that they need to pay off over years and years.

Answer 4

if they really wanted to help any child, they should help it's mother keep her baby.

seriously.  if ap's spent the same amount of money taking her baby away and took that money and gave it to her, she could keep her child.

Answer 5

If someone adopts a child, you are responsible for the child.  Period.  Who would ever say you are also responsible to care for the birth family as well?  In that case, you'd be adopting the whole birth family.

Answer 6

Your question raises bigger questions to me. We are all in a position to help the less fortunate but how many of us actually do? When you bought your last car or that new plasma tv did you think about a child going to bed without a hug and kiss?  Did you think about infants dieing due to a lack of clean water or medical care? Likely not.

Our society is based on consumerism. Better, bigger, faster, more.

If I was ever to adopt (you know if h**l suddenly froze over) I would do everything in my power to help my child's family domestic or international. But that is just my way. It is what compels me to offer a coffee and stop for a chat with the homeless people of my city, it is what drives me to bring warm clothes to the youth hostel in the dead of winter. This drives eats away at my extra money around Christmas, making gift baskets for abused women who are spending the holidays in shelters.

We should ALL be doing everything we can to help those who need us. In the case of family this is even more important and lets face it... your child's family is your family, without them you would not have that sweet face to wake up to every morning.

Answer 7

I always find this argument interesting.  Some people continually say that adoption is what is best for the child (which I believe), and yet, there are always comments about how APs should help the bio family keep the child.  Sometimes what is best for the child is not necessarily providing a bio family with funds to keep a child.  Yes, I will agree that sometimes it is the answer, but not always, as in our son's case.  I find it interesting when others claim that the focus of adoption has to be on the child and then immediately assume that the AP should somehow "bail" out the bio parent for the choices they made.  

Bio parents need to be held responsible for the decisions they make - whether it be regarding their lifestyle, their career choice, their pregnancy, their choice to make an adoption plan, etc.  I don't see anyone telling me that someone should help me pay for my infertility treatments.  So in fairness, if an AP helps out a bio family to stay together, shouldn't bio families then help APs (once they get back on their feet) to fund infertility treatments?  Why should one be willing to help but the other not?  

Just my opinion - one that I'm sure will stir up much debate.  Sorry about that.  :)

Answer 8

Short answer?  Yes.  I believe we should all be doing something to improve the world in which we leave and that we will leave to our children.  This includes helping to ensure that lack of material resources doesn't have to be a reason that a woman lose her own flesh and blood and a child lose his/her's.

We're all citizens of the world, and therefore have a responsibility to one another.

Answer 9

I agree with Rejected, we should all be doing what we can.  This is not an adopted not adopted thing.  There should be no more pressure for adopted parents to support the birth parents family than for you and I.  We should all be doign what we can for our fellow persons.

Answer 10

I'm pretty sure I've seen a lot of people saying that, too.  Just yesterday, I saw a post from someone that said that adoptive parents are in a position to make the most change with agencies.  I think adoptive parents are also in a position to make the most noise about adoption reform, in many ways.  Until our children have their own voices, we ARE their voices.  It's our responsibility to stand up and use those voices.

ETA:  After reading your other answers, it looks like I misunderstood what you were trying to say.  I have done (and continue, whenever I'm able) quite a bit to keep families together, and to support women who feel they aren't the best mom's.  I volunteered at a battered woman's shelter for 3 years.  The mom's there can really go through some rough emotional times, thinking they really shouldn't be moms at all if they can't keep their family together.  Not that any of them ever considered giving up their kids for adoption, but some of them could have had their children taken away by DHS because it is apparently the mom's responsibility to keep the dad from being physically abusive (GRRRRRR).  I have absolutely no desire to make lots of money, so I've never been a huge financial supporter of anything.  But I give out emotional support freely and often.  So yeah, I do think it is our responsibility to give what we HAVE and what we CAN to help others; birthmom's, battered women, rape victims, addicts...whatever you have room in your heart for, you should take up that space with a worthy cause.  And if you have room in your heart for adoption, hopefully there will be at least a little space left over for the biological family, and the country they live in.