If another child hits your child?

Question

this is just a general opinion question. if someone else's child hit your child and your child hit them back how would you handle your child. I ask this because my daughter was hit in the arm and she hit the little boy back who is a year older than her ( she is 3) her mom came and told me what happended so I told my daughter she had to stay inside I made her apologize to the boy. and that's was it I didn't put her in timeout I didn't spank her I just told her that hitting wasn't nice. what would you have done.

Answer 1

i told all my children if someone hits you hit back

apart from my boys who are not allowed to hit girls they must walk away, i have done this as i have had domestic violence and never want them to hit a girl but learn to walk away

if that had been one of my sons  he would of been in a lot of trouble for hitting a girl  

Answer 2

Well, first of all, I do not think your child should be punished so you did the right thing. Right now, let's just call what your daughter did, an act of self defense. Now, first I would have explained to my child that no matter the circumstances, it is never appropriate to hurt another child, even if the other child hit them first. Then I would go and talk to the mother of the other child and try to tell her what happened. Possibly then, she might talk to her son about what happened and why he hit your daughter in the first place. Maybe he was just playing around. After all, he's only four, and he's a boy, and you know boys tend to play a little rougher than girls. Basically, I would have each child apologize to each other. Because even though it was mainly the little boy's fault, even if your little girl felt she had to, she is partly to blame for hitting the other child back. Besides, maybe it was a love punch ♥ :-)

Answer 3

Personally, if my child chooses to hurt themselves or another child I believe in spanking (yea most people don't agree with this).  BUT!!!!!! Because the other child hit my kid first though I would just sit them in time out, or take away a toy. I really want my children to know that hitting is NOT OKAY, anger problems run wild in my family and I want to help my kid as much as I can for when they get older. I think you handled the situation nicely though, maybe a time out would have worked too. Good job though, hope this helps.

Answer 4

I have friends who tell their kids that it is okay to hit someone back i you are hit first, to me that is a huge no no because where is the lesson in that. Sounds like you did what was right! Remember an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

Answer 5

I think I would have done the same thing.  If my child hit another child back , I would not punish them simply for the fact that I want my kids always to defend themselves, but I also want them to know hitting back isn't always the answer.  

Answer 6

nothing , the other kid hit her first - i would have made that mom make her kid apologize to mine

Answer 7

I do the same tell my daughter and the other child no hitting play nice, I see no need for a time out unless a child continues to be aggresive

Answer 8

Try to teach her that on the first hit walk away, on the next hit fight back. If a person hits you twice, you should defend your self.  

Answer 9

I agree... you don't want anyone else hitting your child, but the best thing to do is to teach your child that even if someone DOES hit her, it is not okay to hit back.  No "punishment" needed, just a quick discussion about how hitting is not appropriate.  Tell her that if someone hits her, she should tell you (or another adult in charge), and that she should tell the child to "stop".  Usually if a child stands their ground and says "stop it" to another child- the other child will leave them alone.  You definitely do not want to give her the idea that hitting is okay, so it is not acceptable to hit in return.  It's also okay to tell your child to walk away from others who are treating them badly.  

And, if this happens in your (and the other parents') view, I would say loud enough for them to overhear you, "Hitting is not okay.  Hands stay down."  This way, perhaps the other parent can follow your lead and have a little talk with their own little hitter.

Answer 10

sorry.  but I wouldn't do a d**n thing about it.  why punish your child for defending herself?  Of course, you tell her that hitting isn't nice, but we aren't going to always be around to defend our children for them.  My mom used to tell us that we should tell first.  The second time, hit back.  Some children think that because the child they hit goes to tell, they are babies.  I'll leave you with this story.  Once when my little brother was in the fifth grade, this kid would hit and hit and hit him.  My brother (listening to what my mom told him to do), always tried to tell the teacher.  One day there was a substitute.  The kid picked and picked on him again.  My brother told the sub.  She told him that was his fault for starting up with the little kid.  So, the child, getting brave, proceeded to try and pull my brother's chair out from under him.  My brother, figuring he had already told someone and that didn't work, beat the c**p out of the little kid, in front of the sub, and went to go sit in the office.  The kid from that point on was my brother's best friend!

Answer 11

i have two neices (twins) who are 6 and they are always hitting my son who is 5 :( my sister thinks it is funny and laughs when she is telling them to say sorry! my son doesnt hit back becuase he is a sweet little boy until one day one of the twins dug her nails in him and drew blood when he saw his arm bleeding he picked his little hand up and with all his might he smacked her! they dont hit him any more:)

Answer 12

My son will automatically hit the kid back, he is just like that.

So I just find out what happened and then tell my son that's it's OK to always protect yourself.

End of story

Answer 13

Sometimes I think hitting back is okay. Like if the other child is a real threat to your child have them hit back. Like if they are on a playground and a kid is merciless hitting your child over and over have them hit back. But I wouldn't punish your little girl for hitting this boy back but say something like, "I understand why you would hit this boy back but remember hitting isn't always the answer. Next time tell a teacher or a grown-up what happened." I hope this helps.

Answer 14

That's a tough one but I teach my daughter that it's never okay to hit back. If a little boy hits her I tell her that he probably likes her and that's the way he reacts to a crush at his age and the unfortunate thing is that when he is old enough to understand what he's really doing, she'll remember he was a mean little jerk and not go out with him.

Answer 15

as long as she didnt start it is is good that she got her own back in my eyes

Answer 16

I would have told her that hitting is not nice and told her that if anyone ever touches her again, to tell an adult right away but not to hit back.  This way only the first hitter gets in trouble. You can't really punish her if she didn't know what else to do, every ones first reaction would be to hit back.  Make sure she knows to tell an adult.