If i give my baby up, who picks his/her name out?

Question

hey

sorry im a bit new and dumb at all this

im 5-6 weeks pregnant (just found out this past week) and i am pretty sure that im going to go with adoption to give my baby a better chance at life... i am 16 and hopeless.

anyways just a stupid question i was wonderin about... lol... who picks out the babies name if you hand over the baby when its born? the adopted couple or me? i guess it would be kinda cool to name my kid but then again it wont be my kid... but maybe thats one thing i COULD give it, a decent name or a name his/her birth mommy (eg: me) actually liked and gave to it.

sorry dumb question...

Answer 1

I am so shocked at some of these answers.  People think it's more honorable to kill your child than give it to someone who wants a baby!  It's disgusting.  

I commend you for doing the right thing for your baby.  You should be honored and thanked for being brave and selfless.

You know that you are making the right choice and giving this life to a couple who are ready and willing and might not be able to have one on their own.  Don't let what those people who have no morals said get to you.  

Good luck, sweetie!

Answer 2

Don't do it, own up to your responsibilities.

Answer 3

Sophie,Brianna,Emily

Answer 4

Usually the adoptive parents will pick out the name, but I have heard of some birth parents picking out the name of the baby they were putting up for adoption.  Personally I would want to let the adoptive parents pick it out, after all they will be the one to raise the child.  If it is something important to you maybe you could see if they would let you pick out a middle name.  

Don't listen to any of the negative answers.  I think that in most cases it takes a really strong person to give their baby up for adoption.  And I think it is really mature of you to be thinking about the child's life over yours.  I think some teenagers that are pregnant think it will be so fun to have a cute little baby and be able to dress it up and stuff, but parenthood ends up being harder than they thought, and they don't always make great parents.

My brother and sister in law are just starting the process of adoption, and I think it is wonderful.  If it weren't for adoption they probably would never get to be parents.

Well good luck with the whole process.

Answer 5

Well you get to name the babbie but the ones who adopt it can change it!

Answer 6

Please take care of yourself, and no matter what you read here, many many adoptions turn out great!  When we met with our daughter's birthmom the firs ttime, she was 8 months pregnant, and had an ultrasound picture for us.  She asked if we wanted to know if it was a boy or a girl, and we did.  She gave us her picture and we told her that we'd like to honor her in our daughter's naming, and used a part of her name in our daughter's name.  She was very happy.  It is usually the adoptive parents who chose a name, but you can pick a name in the meantime to use while talking to your baby, and when you meet them, let them know what you have done.

Just please don't let the anti and vocal folks on here get all nuts on you.  You need to do what YOU feel is right.

You can get free adoption counselling about anywhere, and no one should pressure you.

May I suggest looking at the website:  www.itsaboutlove.com

Best of luck making an adoption plan and for a healthy pregnancy.

Answer 7

chances are very good the people will change the name anyway.

please, please, do not give your baby up.  there are tons of resources county/state to help you financially.

please, do not give your baby away.  it will affect them for the rest of their lives, and it will mess with your head forever.

Answer 8

Hey please don't let everybody get to you.  I gave a baby up for adoption in 2000 and it was the best for all of us.  It doesn't 'mess with your head forever' nor will it 'mess with your babies head forever'- my husband was adopted, and he's just fine.  Email me if you'd like, at any time.

I named my baby girl, but her adoptive parents renamed her.  I do have a birth certificate with the name I named her, and my information, etc.  I highly recommend getting this after the baby is born- file for it as soon as possible.  The adoptive parents have the right to change her name.  If you decide on an open adoption and choose birthparents before the baby is born (not saying this is what you SHOULD do, it's all up to you, that's just what I did) you can work with them to choose a name.  We talked about names we both liked, but never actually decided before she was born.  I still call her the name I named her-  Hannah.

Hope this helps.

Answer 9

Its generally the birth parent who picks the name. If you find an family you want to give the infant to before you give birth, then that family should have the privelge pick the name. If you wait to put the child up of adoption until after it is born, then you will pick the name.

If you are going to have essentially no contact with the child as they grow up (ie no photos sent yearly, no visitation rights), then a name might make you feel like you "know" them and want to see them get older, and change.

I hope this helps.

-Green eyes

Answer 10

In Canada, you are encouraged to name the baby at birth for the birth certificate. The adoptive parents have the choice to change the name if they wish when the adoption goes through. It's going to depend on the adoptive parents though, and if you get to talk to them before baby is born, you can discuss this with them. My husband and I are hoping that the birthmother will help us out as we are stuck for a name to agree on lol! It all depends on the adoptive parent's really. Good luck to you! I have many friends and relatives that were adopted and none of them that I know feel abandoned or hurt about it. No questions are dumb either.

Answer 11

either, my adoptive mum and birth mum worked mine out together.

Answer 12

The adoptive parents choose the name of the baby as far as I know.

Answer 13

In the first place you shouldn't even consider giving up your baby. Sounds like you are giving the baby up just because you are hopeless. You have a lot of time left to do something about your hopelessness. There are several agencies out there to give you help, and even provide supplies when the baby is born. Don't punish the baby for an apparent mistake you made. Keep it, love it and give it a great name. You won't be sorry. But if you do let it go for adoption, the folks that adopt the baby will want to name it themselves, I certainly would. Please young lady, don't give up your baby. He/she will grow so fast and before you know it be grown. May God forgive you if you let the baby go for adoption.

Answer 14

It depends on the adoptive parents.

With our first daughter that we adopted as a newborn, we kept the name her first mother gave her.  She didn't know it at the time but she named the baby another version of the name we gave to our child that died.  We told the first mother of 3 middle names we were considering and she smiled at Faith and thought it was perfect.   So we went with it.

Our last daughter was adopted from Africa.  She was almost 2 and we kept her African name(picked by her first parents) as her middle name.

The adoptive parents have the final say but some are more open to the whole name thing than others.

Answer 15

I am so sorry that people are responding to you with upsetting responses.  And you are NOT dumb for posting a question about adoption.  Don't ever think that.  

With regards to your baby's name, it is really up to you and the type of adoption that you proceed with.  While you are able to name the child when the child is born, I don't want to lie to you.  Adoptive parents are given the opportunity to change the child's name at the time of finalization if they choose.  However, this may be something you want to discuss with the APs or the agency to see if there are any other options available to you.

When we first learned of our son, we considered changing his name because it is "different" and we were afraid he might be made fun of by other kids in the future (kids can be cruel), but once we met our son, there was no way we could change his name.  We did, however, change his middle name due to personal reasons and with with the blessing of his bio-grandparents.  

Good luck to you and don't let the people here get to you.  Continue asking whatever questions you need to get through this pregnancy and to help you decide if adoption is right for you.  You may find as you go through the pregnancy that you do not want to place the child for adoption.  Just remember that it is your choice (and of course the father's) - whichever way you decide.  : )

Answer 16

well, i think it depends on who you give it to to adopt. if i were you, i wouldn't just put it in an orphanage. try too look for a good couple to give it to and raise it. [just like on juno, they actually have couple personals for adopting in those free newspapers.] and if it's going to be an open adoption where you'll stay in touch and be updated with the baby, i think it's okay for you to name it. also, it would be best to ask the potential parents how they feel about the situation.

Answer 17

I am just curious, but why can you not  not keep him/her. Other then your age. I am 29 with a 12 year old daughter. I was your age when I got pregnant and I was able to keep her, finish school and have been married to her father now for 10 years.

Do not get me wrong I am for adoption when a person feels that they cannot parent but have you considered that YOU CAN. If there are other reasons or just that you think you may not be able to parent than I say go ahead and prepare youself but if your age is the only reason. Then I am telling you now a 17 year old woman can parent her child and give her a great life. I know my daughter turned 12 last week and has an amazing life.

With that said before you jump into this ask yourself what are your reasons for choosing this path.

I wish you the best in whatever you decide.

I just wanted you to know that 17 is not to young to be a great mom.

As for the actual answer to your question. You can but the final decision is up to the people who adopt him/her. They may keep it, change it or add to to it.

Answer 18

Th epeople who adopt it will choose the name. Its not a stupid question at all! your new at this and have every right to ask as many questions as you want! Im a Registered Nurse and have seen many teen pregnancies, your doing the right thing, not only that but your doing a wonderful thing for the lucky couple who will adopt the little mirical you give to them. Stand strong and dont let anyone talk down too you!!

Answer 19

don't be upset by the b******e answerers. you're being good and brave and selfless and i'm glad there are people like you out there. unfortunately the parents you choose may not want you to name their baby, they may already have chosen the names they want. but you can name it for yourself, and when you think of your baby you'll have that name in your heart. :]

good luck!

Answer 20

Lil miss sunshine, there is no question you can ask that is dumb.  What there are, especially here on answers, is some really dumb anti adoption types who will use any means they can to make you feel bad about yourself.  Dont let them get to you!  Im an adult adoptee myself and I think what you are doing is making an informed decision based on what you know you can handle.  Good on you!!  Adoption was the absolute best thing for me.  It is true that being adopted brings with it some negative feelings, especially when youre a teenager trying to find your place in the world, but it doesnt follow that just because some people have bad adoption experiences all adopted children will, fact is we dont.  The VAST MAJORITY of adoptees will tell you (and in my close family there are 14 of us who are adopted) that for them adoption was the best choice.  Please make sure you provide detailed medical information for the adoptive parents, lack of family medical information can be a huge problem for adoptees, I inherited both cervical cancer and a heart condition from my bio mother.  Feel free to chose a name for your child.  Even if the adopting parents change it to one they prefer it gives you a way to identify with your child.  Whatever you chose to do, I wish you all the very best, not only with your pregnancy but with the rest of your life.  Feel free to email me if you want to talk.

Answer 21

I think the adoptive parents should let you name the baby and respect the name you give him/her.

If you would like to see how wonderful adoption can be for a family you can check out my myspace. It's myspace.com/spencerisamiracle

I'm not interested in adopting your baby so don't think that is what I'm trying to do. I just want you to know that if you choose adoption, although it will be the hardest thing ever, it can be a great thing for the family you choose and your child. Also, if you have any questions, you can always e-mail me. I support your right to parent as well as your right to choose adoption. If you have any questions, feel free to e-mail me.

Answer 22

Not a dumb question. the little boy we're trying to adopt is named Alexander James. this is a fine name (for someone else's kid).

We're thinking about changing it to Jamison Zander. Jamie was a name we'd talked about for a little boy, and Alexander was my grandfather, but my aunt named her son, my loser cousin, Alex, so I don't really want to keep that as his first name. Also, we have a fairly common last name, and with identity theft as rampant as it is, I don't want him to have people with his same name out there.

So, we're taking variations of his given names and switching them around.

Answer 23

If given up at birth the paretns will name the baby, but dont let people tell you negative things about adoptiong. My birthmom was 15 and single when she had me and decided to give me up for adoption. I cant even imagine how hard of a decision that must have been but I am SO THANKFUL every day that she did.  My parents couldnt have kids and were were so happy to adopt me. I couldnt have been raised any better or by a better family so that is the bigggest gift you could give to your baby!! ( dont worry about the name). And for the people telling you to keep your baby, statistically children of unwed single mothers  with have a MUCH higher risk of being molested and abused as they grow up, much more than they EVER would if they had been adopted into a loving home. So good luck!

Answer 24

I bet you could find a program that would let you name the kid. or you could find the adoptive parents and talk to them and see if they are willing to let you name the baby.

& second

even if you 16

that doesnt mean your hopeless

you just made a mistake

Answer 25

Well, I think you are brave to think of adoption for your child.  If you absolutely have no help or just don't want to parent at this time.

As for the name, I think it would actually be wonderful if you gave your child a name- discuss this with the adoptive parents and maybe you guys could decide upon a name together.  Best wishes!  

I adopted my son who already had a name at the time.  I kept his first name that his bio mom gave him.  His middle and last names are my family names.  I'm hoping he will like my decision when he gets older.

Answer 26

This is not a dumb question.  It shows that you do care and love your baby and you care enough to provide the best circumstances for him/her.  Sometimes the best thing to do is also the hardest.  I think you are doing the responsible thing by giving up your baby for adoption instead of having an abortion.  It is a hard decision to make and very selfless and responsible of you.  I adopted 2 children and their birth mother named them but then when we went to court to adopt, we could change them if we wanted.  It usually takes a few months (sometimes years) for an adoption to be finalized and so you should name the baby if you have strong feelings to do so.  Our kids were a little older though.  The oldest was 5 by the time the process was finally over and he wanted to take my husband's middle name.  My daughter was 4 and she chose to keep her middle name.  We let them decide but obviously a baby could not and the adoptive parents may want the baby to have a name that is strong in their family and has been passed down.  This gives the child a feeling of belonging and may feel really honored when they are older.

There are adoption agencies where you can meet the adoptive parents and choose who you think would be the best parents.  This sounds like it might be a good idea for you.  Then you would also have the opportunity to tell your child, later in life, how much of an influence you had in choosing the parents and they were's just dumped off at an orphanage.  You should look for agencies now and see if you can find someone to help you.  Is the father involved at all?

Answer 27

hm, tough situtation you got yourself into.

i think that the rules apply just like a pet.

once you adopt it, it the new owner (or parent's) decesion

you're free to tell them what you first named him/her but yea.. it's up to them

good luck!

Answer 28

The adoptive parents name the child, assuming the adoption takes place at birth.

If you take your child home and later place him or her for adoption, then you would complete the birth certificate with a name of your choice - but I do think most adoptive parents would change it.

It's natural to want to choose your child's name, and it's not necessarily an unhealthy impulse.  But it is a privilege reserve for those who are going to raise the child - and you're wise and generous to realize that it probably shouldn't be you.

Answer 29

good luck and blessings!!!

Answer 30

the person who adopts it

Answer 31

It depends on the person that adopted your child.