If it were so easy for PREADOPTIVE PARENTS to "steal babies from the arms of mothers'" in...?

Question

3rd world countries... then please explain how it is done? I want to know how you think the typical American couple could cross the borders take the babies and get back without the natural families, police, or immigration finding out?

Answer 1

If you really are clueless to that question than I suggest you don't "adopt?" any more children.

Go to Unicef.org and read about the atrocities you contributed to by "legally adopting?" a child from Guate.

Answer 2

Whatever, as an IA mom myself, I can totally feel your frustration. It's hard for us moms to look at our children's bright faces every day and to see how far they've come from developmental delays and malnutrition and illnesses and not become angry and defensive when we interpret people's caustic comments as an endorsement that our children should just languish in an orphanage and just accept their lot in life because at least everyone speaks the same language and maybe just maybe their first moms will come back, all the while knowing that simply is not a reality. Perhaps sometimes, but very rarely. For those of us who have been there and particularly those of us that have seen the orphanages and the conditions, well, yes I do feel like a tigress wanting to protect my child from people who think she should go back to where she came from because a "family in theory" will keep her warm at night in her freezing orphanage moreso than a physically present family who would bring her the moon if we could.

The facts: PAPs DO NOT steal anyone's children. You can't steal what has voluntarily been given up. There can be PAPs for days, but if there are no children, then there are no children. PAPs who are adopting internationally are doing so because they wish to be parents to a child that already exists. While I do think it is naive to assume that corruption/trafficking does not occur, especially when money is involved, I believe it is on a small scale compared to the number of children who were voluntarily freed for adoption.

There are evil doers in the world of adoption for sure and some PAPs do fall into that category, but again, I believe the norm are people who want to love and provide stability and safety and a family to a child that needs one.

Answer 3

pretty much a baby is stolen, or sold and calimed to be adandoned, then placed for adoption then placed in a home outside of te country. The high demand does create a need for more stolen children.

If you know this is not the case with your adoption, then don't get too up set. Stand up for the children who ARE being kidnapped.

Answer 4

You know the typical American adoptive parent probably doesn't realize everything about the corruption in the country. I know I sure didn't.

The thing is there is room for corruption in any type of adoption.  In adoptions overseas, there is more room for corruption.  I noticed in an above comment someone mentioned Guatemala adoption corruption. A few things I have heard about in Guatemala adoptions, are that even with a DNA test with the baby and mother, there have been cases where the baby in the photos are not the baby that is being adopted. It is the biological child of that mother, and is not the baby that is being adopted, the mother is using false documents, which will lead to the child and mother having matched DNA, but the actual child being adopted is never dna matched with it's mother.  

Also in a 3rd world country it is very easy to paint a picture of how wonderful life in America is.  Imagine you are a first mother with your newborn baby, and you are hearing about how much better life is in America. You know you can't provide an education for your child, and some months it might even be hard to provide food.  You may be able to be talked into placing your child because you think that life will be better for your child. This woman may have never considered adoption before she heard about it painted to her in such a good light and she is talked into placing.  

And once she has been talked into making an adoption plan, she probably is uneducated, and may not be able to read and write, and even though we know there are chances where she could choose to parent, she may not understand that. She may also be told that she'd be responsible for paying for her child's care for the months it was waiting to be adopted.  When you are really poor just hearing you would need to provide the money for your birth medical bills, and foster care, would make you feel desperate and think that you definately couldn't have a change of heart about the adoption. Especially when you are paid very little and are very poor.

Also a lot of times in international adoptions the mothers may be afraid to question the attorney's and demand their children back.  They may also be coached into telling the social workers what their attorney's have told them to tell them during the court process, and being uneducated may leave them feeling intimidated talking to judges and courts.

Another really disturbing thing I have read about is mother's being paid money for their infants.  When you are talking about such a poor country, even a small amount of money by our standards can make a huge difference in that person's life.  

I am not anti international adoption, these are just some things I have heard over the years.  Obviously they are not true in every case and in every adoption.  There are prefectly legal adoptions going on too.  A few bad apples can spoil the whole thing.