If marriage is a competition, how do you win?

Question

My wife and her family are obcenely competitive and I am not. They see people as adversaries not as partners. Obviously this causes strain in our marriage as I'm trying to be a partner and my wife is trying to "be better" or whatever. I'm sort of introverted engineer/artist type so I don't really have a problem with it because I just ignore it. However, if I conciously tried to "win" our marriage competition, what does that mean and how do I win?

Answer 1

Since this competitive spirit in marriage was patterned by her family, she's doing what is familiar to her. She needs to know that sometimes it is better to have a happy marriage than win one argument. Go to a marriage counselor for help . I had a former marriage that sounds a lot like yours and now have a marriage where we are true partners. Believe me you will be much happier in a marriage with a partner and not an adversary.Maybe the counselor can make her understand everyone wants a safe place to come to not more stress and strife to see who comes out the winner.

Answer 2

Being married the longest, love each other more, love children more, less fighting, save more money, live happier, take trips, go to church, smile,  laugh more, when at her family's house; pet, kiss, hug, touch each other, wisper s**y things to each other,  smile at each other,,,do all this you WILL WIN !!!!

Answer 3

Your first mistake is believing that marriage is a competition, it's a partnership.....you'll never win if you don't work together

Answer 4

whatever...that doesn't sound like a marriage...more like a nightmare..

you don't "win" in marriage....marriage is SUPPOSED to be a partnership....