If mother is to give up parental rights!?

Question

Please do not judge me for this, its a general question. I have a friend that wants to give her child up for adoption once its born, she doesnt know who the father is. If she was to list me as the father would she be able to give up her parental rights and allow my wife to become the baby's adoptive mother?

Answer 1

Yes because as long as you say that you are the father they aren't going to question it. All you have to do is put your name on the birth certificate as the father

Answer 2

This is VERY possible.  Much easier than the "in family private adoption" we just went through.  Adoption laws differ from state to state.  My best advice would be to contact an adoption attorney.  You may be able to avoid the term "adoption" with your plan.  However you will need an attorney to do paperwork/filing for birth mother to give up her rights. This protects your new family from any regrets that may or may not happen years down the road.  Remember it can be proven that you are not the father...so protect your family legally....please.

Answer 3

If  you are the legal father you have the legal right to put a stop to the adoption and raise the child as your own of course. but be warned !!

If the natural father shows up again and claims paternity. it would become a custody issue and you would lose. Also if the mother should change her mind down the road (which expecting mothers have been known to do), she will always be able to denonce you as the child's father with a paternity challenge

.  Whether Your wife could adopt may depend on regional laws having to do with the the guaranteed anonymity of the birth mother..   Get yourself a lawyer before you say any more to the mother-to-be

If I were you I would simply adopt anonymously and let her baby be put up for legal adoption..You don't even know what you are in for yet  If she doesn't even know the father. This child could turn out to have a serious medical conditon from birth. You just CAN'T KNOW what kind of hornet's nest you are walking into

Answer 4

Don't lie about it.  Get a lawyer, if your friend wants you to have the child she can designate that.  But you do NOT want to start your life as a parent with a lie.  

If the child finds out you're not the dad after years of lies, he will not forgive you.  

Plus, you could do jail time for lying on a government document.

Answer 5

Unless you had s*x with her and could possibly be the father, naming you would be fraud and illegal. If any word of it got to the court, or to the possible bio father, they could disrupt the adoption. Why not just adopt the baby as a couple?

Answer 6

Yea, this can be done.. and this is wonderful.  I have 3 adopted siblings, and my sister adopted 3 kids because she could not have her own.  The only thing.. only negative thing here is... How far along in pregnancy is she? Do you really think she will be able to leave you at peace to raise the baby?  Will she be able to accept that 'this is not my baby, I gave up my rights', that is the only thing.. the only downside, has she felt the baby move?  It is the maternal thing that you have to watch.  If she is a good friend of yours, and you know that you will be able to love this baby, raise this baby, with no input from 'birth mom'.. then this is a great thing all of you would be doing... And she would be able to give up rights ... they do not do blood tests where none is warranted.. You and your wife are good friends to her...

Answer 7

They may request a paternity test to go through with the adoption.  Your best bet is to see a lawyer that specializes in adoption and see what he suggests doing.

Answer 8

no you can Not put your name on the birth cert and list as yours  its ilegail!The judge will see right thre it!Your baby will be taken into protictive costody and you could go to jail.You must hire an attorny and do an adoption.She can say the father is unknow and exsplain it was a rape.Depending on what state their will be a public notice stateing planed adoption on such and such date of new born (her last name) thein he has a limited amount of time to respond and thein the unknown father rights are termanated.

Answer 9

im assuming that you're asking this because you're concerned that the father might come back and claim his paternity rights?

if so, then by claiming you're the father could only cause credibility problems if this ever goes to court.

there is no real advantage to do it the way you speak of. you might think it would circumvent the system and keep costs low by automatically giving you parental rights. but unfortunately, it's not that easy.

if all of you are in agreement to adopt this child, then the best way is for her to have the child leaving the father portion of the birth certificate blank and then having an attorney draft all the proper documents for adoption. without the proper paperwork, there could be serious problems with the mother if she changes her mind, the state and various governmental services as your legal rights as adoptive parents would be limited.

consult your local family law attorney and they will be able to guide you through this process.

Answer 10

Even if she did not list you as the baby's father she would be able to give up t he baby to you if that is what she wanted. In some states it does not matter if the father signs off, in others, they will make an attempt to find him like running an ad in the classified section for 60 or 90 days. You just need to find a adoption attorney or maybe even an agency to walk you through the steps. You will probably still have to have a home study like in any other adoption

Answer 11

OK here we go... if you really want to adopt that child then you must go to a lawyer and let the biological mother sign an affidavit stating that she is freely and willingly giving you her child and that she will not bother you nor your wife bringing up the child. if ever so this would happen you have the right to sue her because you have signed legal documents. and as for the child.. just nourish and love and love and more love her/him. and when he/she is old enough to understand you have option to tell him/her the truth. if you really raised the child well he/she would thank you for what you've did. i hope this helps.to tell you the truth, i know coz I'm also adopted and i love my foster parents more than my bio mom and dad. they adopted me when i was just a year old.

Answer 12

l agree with the few posters above me.  l personally don't think this is ethical.  lf all the parties concerned decide on an open adoption, that is fine, but what you are talking about is falsifying records and denying a child and a father a possible relationship.  Please think about how you would feel if you were in that father's place?  Also , think about the legal ramifications should the birth mother change her mind, or the birth father find out.  Good luck, l hope you make the right decisions for all of you.

Answer 13

Others have already given you advice. However, you should know that it is very likely she knows who the father is, or at least can narrow it down. It is also possible that she is vindictively preventing him from finding out. If she makes up with him later, you not only lose the baby, but end up in jail for lying on the birth certificate.

Answer 14

There must be a reasonable attempt to contact the person/people who could possibly be the baby's father and have him relinquish parental rights. I'm not 100% sure how this is done, but adoption agencies do. Just putting your name on the birth certificate is not legal. If you are able to adopt the baby, once the adoption has been finalized, you will be issued a new birth certificate with your name and your wife's name on it.

Answer 15

Yes you would be able to do that. But, is it right ...no. You should do it the right way so that it is legal.

Answer 16

I have a son who will never know his father but that hasn't stopped my husband in asking if he can have my son call him dad. I will at one point in time tell my son and he gets a few hints here and there about what my husband really is to him. Yes my husband is his father cause a father is there and a dad is just the donor if he don't come around. So what I think you should do is get adoption papers going see the mother will have 6 months to see if she really wants to give up her child and in the mean time get a DNA test going to see if you are the father so that you know and its not a guessing game or a huge fight. If you really wanted to you can have the birth mother involved so that the child gets to know his/her mother as well as later on in life the child wont have to look far at all for any answers that might happen later in life. That is if things between you and the mother are good enough for that.

Answer 17

If you and your wife want to adopt the baby and the birth mom wants you to as well it will be fairly simple to have done. There is no need to list you as the father or "lie" to get this done. All 3 of you need to go see a lawyer that handles adoption and go from there

Answer 18

this sounds quite feasible but you have a lot to think about, firstly, what if she changes her mind when she see's your wife bringing up her baby? all it would take is a simple dna test to prove the baby is not yours. this could cause a lot of problems for you all in the long term. having said all that i wish you luck and hope that it does work out for you

Answer 19

Be careful.  If for some reason the biological father would ever find out that this occurred, you could possibly lose the child.  I would hesitate with blatantly lying on any documentation if you know it to be false information.  If there is a chance that you are the child's father, that is different to some degree.  

I commend you for wanting to raise this child with your wife, but I'd hate to see something bad happen because your good intentions could be considered as "illegal" in some cases.  

Just a thought.  Again, kudos to you for wanting to do this though.

EDIT:  Just read your additional details about the rape.  I had an immediate thought that if she reported the rape and then listed you as the father, would you be implicated in the crime?  Be careful.  I truly admire what you want to do, but again, I would hate to see you end up in trouble over trying to do the right thing.  Good luck!

Answer 20

Please, for the child's sake -- no lies, no stories, no made up pretend situations.  It is what it is.  The child should not have to carry the burden of adults pretending or hiding information.  Be honest and open.  If you want to adopt, and she wants you to adopt, and your wife wants to adopt -- then go t through the proper channels and adopt!

My experience of 30 years always tells me that when someone wants to bypass or circumvent part of the accepted steps to adoption, it is because they likely would not make it through the accepted route.  Just a guess here.

Answer 21

Okay, here are the moral and ethical implications.

1. Every person has a right to have authentic birth records.

2. Both the mother and the father have a right to raise their offspring.

3. The parents of that child should not make the choice of adoption until after the baby is born.  (unfortunately, legally many places allow the father to sign away rights before the child is born)

Here is a link to a pdf about safeguarding the rights and *well being* of birthparents in the adoption process.

Answer 22

Technically yes.  But is it right to not even try to figure out who the father is?  I don't think so.  If she slept with too many men for it to be feasible to figure out the father of her child, I suppose this would be an option.

Although I don't agree with this method, you may want to look into if your state has a putative father registry.  Some states allow fathers to be put on a birth certificate, only if they have registered with the putative father registry.

Answer 23

She does not need to list a father on the birth certificate if she does not know the father. Once she gives the child to you and your wife, they will issue a new certificate with your names on it. If you are NOT the biological father, do not pretend to be, it will only cause problems! She can still give the child up to you.