If my child wanted to be homeschooled, should I homeschool them?

Question

My child has anxiety issues and has started going to a therapist. He asked me to homeschool him because, in his words "I can't go to school anymore..."

I am torn between seeing if the therapy helps or homeschooling him. It is also more of an issue because he only has 4 months of school left.

Answer 1

YES YOU HOMESCHOOL HIM! I have the same problems and my mom took me to VCS ohio and now I have all A's in every class and i have 3 months ( 4 months ) of school lleft and i am guarnteed i will passed so will your son

GOOD LUCK

Answer 2

I recommend therapy and HS. His situation may be causing much of his anxiety, but it may also have biological causes. Even if public school is the entire cause of his illness, it may take time and therapy to get over it. Good luck!

Answer 3

In 11th grade he is what, 17 years old? Depending on your personal views, he is either an adult or almost one. Does he have good judgement? Does he have a good understanding of what would be involved in homeschooling and is he willing to make this work?

If you would generally trust him to make good decisions, I would say trust him in this one.

Answer 4

As a student who had begged my parents to homeschool me...I have to say I am beyond thankful that they didn't.  If your child has anxiety issues (as did I), those need to be dealt with.  Homeschooling in this case would be running away from the problem itself.  The problems will then catch up to your student after you are done homeschooling and its time for them to venture out into the work/school world again.  Also, by getting therapy for your child it will help them adjust into the culture and make friends at school instead of being socially isolated.  There is help out there for those of us who struggle with anxiety.  I hope I helped.  Stay strong!

Answer 5

Oh, I know exactly how he feels.  I actually quit school.  My father died and I started having panic attacks.  Home school him till he feels better.  He will feel better with the help of a therapist.  I am on medication for panic disorder and now I can do anything without feeling like I'm going to have a panic attack.  It is such a horrible feeling.  Only people that suffer from it understand.  I would explain it to the school.  Maybe next year he will be ready to go back.  Also, there is Virtual Online Schooling he can attend.  They are just as good, maybe better.  He will feel comfortable and be able to concentrate.

Answer 6

Glurpy nailed it.

My son had social anxiety issues that developed at public school.

I really agonized over doing what was best for my son.

His therapist argued against homeschooling - and used some of the same arguments against homeschooling that I see here on YA.  I started researching homeschooling and discovered that what I was being told and what this therapist believed is simply not true.  

I compiled a lengthy document with all the research I could find regarding socialization and homeschooling.  I sent it to the therapist, we discussed it and he could not dispute anything that I showed him.

You will probably hear the therapist use the term "school denial" and that the "worst thing you can do" for someone with "school denial" is to give in to it.

I continued to agonize over the decision.

I sought two second professional opinions.  Both agreed with homeschooling.  One of the two is an MD the other is a psychologist who works a great deal with children in the public school system and just happened to have a child his own who *had* a problem with social anxiety.  His decision for his own child? Homeschool!  And it has worked out extremely well (the kid is 11th grade and is now finishing high school by mostly taking dual credit community college courses).

The psychologist's credentials, personal experience and public school experience convinced me.

My decision made: homeschool.

Someone above mentioned "not running away" from the cause of the stress.  There is truth and wisdom with that statement.  If you make the decision as a way to simply avoid  the stress / anxiety that would be a bad decision.

But you can help your child face the anxiety issues under your own terms and conditions.

If you choose to homeschool, you need to make a VERY serious commitment to lots of activities with other kids - especially independent activities (e.g. a parent is not around and the child has to fend for his or her self socially).

This is what we have done and it has worked out quite well.  Our son is now much more confident, has better self-esteem, can handle himself with other kids, is doing incredibly well academically, and does some things that would "scare the snot" out of a lot of kids and even many adults.

Ours participates regularly in Jr. Toastmasters which includes giving an impromptu speech in front of other kids at every meeting plus delivering prepared speeches.  

This would have absolutely mortified him a few short years ago!  How many adults would freak out if they had to speak in front of a small crowd of their peers? Lots.

Takes two coop courses with all 11th and 12th graders (ours is in 9th).

Attends residential / overnight educational camps on college campuses.

Last year, we put him on a plane by himself and sent him cross-country to an educational camp.  He traveled alone, was met by camp counselors at the airport at the other end and spent about 2 weeks with a roommate and a bunch of other kids - all strangers.  

He had a blast.

Point is: Make sure your son understands the commitment.  It is not about staying home and avoiding other people.  It is about changing to a more positive environment, meeting and beating the anxiety on your own terms not someone elses.  

It will take a lot of work and effort.

Regarding only having 4 months left to go... If your child is in pain, will any learning take place during these 4 months? Four months can be a long, long time.

Side Thought:

Plus, the whole idea that a secondary education has to be done in 4 years is purely arbitrary.  If needed, consider doing what many do and finish high school (more or less) concurrently with a 2 year degree at a community college.  Take the rest of this school year and summer, work hard on the social anxiety as a priority, start community college next year and plan on two years of it.

Feel free to email me if I can help in any way.

Answer 7

you should listen to him make him fell good knowing that you will isten to him will make him feel good so homeschool him just use http://flvs.net/ just register him and pick his classes and he will do great the work is just like he is in school so just listen to him and he will do fine

Answer 8

It depends on his age. It would be better if you sought advice from  his therapist.Staying home would make it  harder for him to deal with outside life and people. I would encourage him  to stay at school since this  he has only four months to  go.You need to face your fears.I know because I have anxiety issues.There must be something at school that has upset him like  being  bullied.

Answer 9

I really would not take the advice of a therapist, no offence. My daughter is homeschool and it seeing a therapist (and no, it is not for any social problems) and her theapist is very anti-homeschool. You will find that with a lot of people.

I would find out from him what is going on. Homeschooling is a big commitment and you need to be able to talk to each other openly about things. Perhaps you can ask him, "I really would like to help you, but I need to know what the problem is so we can work on it"  Teens can be a handful, and if he does not like school, it will be a challage to homeschool him.

Answer 10

Are you willing to homeschool him? Are you willing to make sure his academic needs are met? Are you willing to help him maintain/develop some sort of social life? Are you willing to keep helping him through his issues? If you can answer yes to all of these, then do it. You have nothing to lose and lots to gain.

4 months for someone who's essentially in emotional pain is a LONG time. What will he gain by being there? You have the opportunity to ease up on his suffering now. Do it if you feel the slightest bit capable. I've seen homeschooled kids with anxiety issues in school truly blossom once homeschooled--less stress and a better chance at learning how to deal with the more mild stress. They grew more confident as they aged and learned to deal with all the big stuff on smaller terms. It was the best thing for them--but their parents also made sure to take care of all of their needs, not simply keep them at home.

Answer 11

Homeschooling is GREAT.

Unscooling would be a great option for a older teen

Answer 12

If their good then Yes if their bad then no

or then give it a try if it's good then make it stay like that if their not then no

Answer 13

Why does it have to be either one or the other?  Why not try both?

Personally, I would talk to his therapist and get the therapist's take on it.  

A lot of high schools are huge places, where students are smashed together in the hallways between classes, where bullies get away with a lot of intimidation and such that teachers and administrators never see, where teachers have so many students that they are doing well if they remember the names of half of the students.  They are places that many students find difficult to deal with, and many adults wouldn't want to go back to one if they didn't have to.  Therefore, I can certainly see taking him out of the situation for the rest of this year and perhaps next year, too.  It doesn't necessarily mean he can't cope with life in general, but high school-type life is something few adults have to deal with on a daily basis; most of us work in smaller, more controlled environments.  Many of us choose to avoid stores and such during those wild holiday-rush times because they are so nerve-wracking and crowded and such.  Most of us rarely go into such crowded, intimidating places of our own accord.  So, he may be just fine outside of high school.  He can choose to go to college, if he does, in a smaller school setting.

Anyway, I'd ask his therapist for the therapist's take on it, but I'd be inclined to homeschool him and still have him in therapy.

Answer 14

Since he only has 4 months of school left, I think it would be better to leave him in school. I'm homeschooled myself (9th grade) but it's difficult to start in the middle (or even worse, near the end) of the school year. I recommend leaving him in school, and hoping that the therapy helps. You should think as homeschooling as a last resort, if the therapy isn't helping as much as you and your son need it to.

Answer 15

I have anxiety and school was terrifing to me. The things that happen at public schools are uncalled for. i still have nightmares about school too, Listen to your child, he's probably scared out of his mind!

Answer 16

Pull him out!

He's screaming for help.  Help him!  Your son is more important than school.  He needs to come home where he can feel safe.

School is not for everyone; not everyone fits the mold.  Just pull him out.  Today.  Every minute he has to be there is torture.

Your son's emotional health is far more important than any school.  Trust him.  Meet his need.  Bring him home.

Answer 17

If he is young I would say no because he needs to learn with others or he will become really... wierd. He will not know how to communicate with people or how to deal with others. If he is around Middle School or above I would definately homeschool him. Especially if he has anxiety issues.

Answer 18

Is he a senior? If he is, I would go and find out what is happening at his school to make him say, "I can't go to school anymore..."  What type of anxieties:  School work, other students, or maybe the teachers???  

Just about everyone has some type of an anxiety. Even some teachers!!

Homeschooling has to have the same curriclum in each grade level as public schools; I know because I had my own son homeschooled. It was a complete waste of money.