If my husband can not take off work for more than 2 weeks, can we still adopt internationally?

Question

My husband has a fairly flexible job, but he still doesn't have more than 15 days vacation. If we want to adopt internationally can he come for some of the trips but not all? Obviously I wouldn't travel abroad on my own, but I would probably bring my mom for the time he could not come. I know some of the countries require 6-8 wks. of travel. Would it still be possible for us to adopt internationally?

Answer 1

You could. In several countries only one parent needs to travel. In some other countries, less than 2 weeks time in the child's country is needed, and in even others still, escorting can be done. However, you should think about what you will do if you travel alone and there are issues with the child or the paperwork. When you are in a foreign country, don't speak the language and you have NO support system, things can get very scary. I've heard of many disrupted adoptions because the parent who traveled had issues that they couldn't handle alone, but possibly could have with the right support. If you have your child escorted, you are losing the opportunity to experience first hand the country and culture of your child's birth. I always had an appreciation for China, but it wasn't until I stayed there and really experienced it that I really appreciated the people, food, culture, all of it. And I can relay my experiences there to my children someday when they have questions. Another thing still to think about is that your adoption may not be final in the child's country if both parents don't travel to adopt, so you'd need to do a readoption here with both of you present.

Answer 2

China requires 2 weeks and only one parent has to come.  If both travel to China, then the adoption can be completed there, but if only one goes, then the child needs to be adopted officially in the court  where you live.  Never thought about one parent going for part of the time, but that may work too. You get your child after a few days, but the official paperwork is not completed until after the medical exam and everyone travels to the one city where the consulate is that completes the paperwork.  So perhaps hubbie can show up after the first week.

Answer 3

This may be a question best asked of the agency that you are working through.  Friends of ours adopted a baby girl from China.  They only made one trip to China to pick her up.  All the other paper work, interviews, contacts, etc. were done by the agency via phone conferencing, mail, fax, and e-mail.  Each agency as well as each country will conduct the procedure differently.  You may want to check into the Family Leave Act.  I believe there are provisions to grant a leave of absence from your work place for a variety of reasons and I think adopting is one of the events covered.  Of course, this only means that your husband's empolyer has to grant a leave of absence and his job will be there for him, but it will not be likely he will get any pay during the time he is off on leave.  Adoption, especially international adoption, can be very expensive.  Our friends who adopted from China both worked for the same major coperation.  They took several weeks of leave through the Family Leave Act plus used vacation time to travel to China and then spend time at home adjusting before mom went back to work and dad became a stay-at-home dad.  I think if adopting internationally is your goal there are ways to get past the numerous hurdles you will come up against, but it may take a lot of phone calling, sacrifice, contacts, frustration, and disappointment.  In the end, adding that precious child to your family is all worth the effort.  We have a very active network of families in our community who have adopted internationally.  I know several of them and have heard their adoption stories.  They are all very moving and heart-warming.

Answer 4

The Family Medical Leave Act may allow you to have the leave you need. He just wouldn't get paid.

Other than that I know nothing about Adoption.

Good Luck though.

Answer 5

It depends on the country.  Some require both parents in country for a set amount of time, some only require one parent, some don't require either parent in country.

Answer 6

Check into parental leave. Though he only gets 15 days vacation time, the office may have some sort of provision for several months parental leave (like maternity leave, but for the partner not having the baby) or paternal leave.

Also, I have a friend who adopted her child from China and her husband stayed back in the US while she traveled. I would contact an international agency and ask them. They'd be the best to tell you.

Answer 7

It depends on the country you choose and their requirements.

When we adopted our second child, we had to travel twice. Overall, I spent 31 days in Russia, my husband spent 12. My husband came home early on the second trip so that our son (at home) would not be without both of us for the entire time. I stayed in Russia to finish processing the paperwork, etc.  

Some countries offer an "escort" program where neither parent has to travel. (This usually requires an additional finalization of the adoption in a US court, and you miss out on learning/seeing your child's country of birth, which I think is really important. You'll want to check out the pros/cons of this sort of program before you choose it.)

Overall though, I'd say if you can find a way for your husband to travel with you and stay the whole time, it would be best. Although I think the decision for my husband to come home was best for our family as a whole, I don't think it was the best for our new daughter. She loved her new daddy, then -- boom -- he disappeared, too.  Our son (whom we had adopted previously and both traveled for the whole trip) transitioned more easily once home. While I don't think my husband's travel was the entire reason, I do think it helped.

Perhaps your husband can start working now to "bank" some overtime which he could take later as comp time. Perhaps he could petition his HR department for a special leave of absence, etc.

Your husband also might be eligible for additional (probably unpaid though) time off through the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA), but there are some restrictions about company size, length of employment, etc which might affect his eligibility.

Answer 8

We are currently in the process of adopting from Ethiopia and if you want to travel, it is only 7 days in country or you can have the child escorted back for $3500. I would suggest going to the website of an agency, like Wide Horizons for Children and look at the information sheets for each country.  They will give basic travel requirements for each.  Generally speaking I really haven't seen any that require more than 2 weeks.

Answer 9

Why not stay home and give a deserving US child a home