If somebody did this to you?

Question

Recently, I was going to my school registration and I saw a friend. I didn't get a chance to talk to him then, but a little later, he bursts into my field of view right beside me and says hi to his friend behind me. Thinking he was talking to me at first, I turn and say hey. But to my embarrassment, he takes a long step back, chuckles a bit and goes on talking to his other friend, ignoring me completely. About a minute later, he talked to me, but still. Is this an okay thing to do, in your mind?

Now, a bit of history. I moved to where I live about a year ago and I'm going into grade 11. I've never easily made a lot of new friends, and am quite shy. But I meat everyone fast enough and became "acquaintances" and talk with everybody, but don't hang out with many people a lot outside of class. This guy is one of my closest friends (still not too close), or I used to think that, but he eventually started calling me antisocial and weird. I'm the first to admit that I don't talk to people very well if I don't know them too well, but I’m trying to change that and improve myself. But all I get from him is "ANTISOCIAL, ANTISOCIAL, ANTISOCIAL” I’m beginning to think poorly of myself, and my self confidence is completely shot. He is one of the few people I know (and he's in my class by the way) who I can talk to whenever I want (usually) but I don't know what to do. I feel like he doesn't value my friendship at all. Kind of makes me feel like a nucence. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

well one thing to say... ou made a mistake in choosing a friend... its better you let him off your mind your thought and take care while cjoosing friends...

Answer 2

That doesn't make you anti-social............be who you are........

Answer 3

i would just drop him..let him talk to you..dont be all over him

he'll come to you

Answer 4

You are young so it is difficult to accept the type of answer I will provide. I say ignore it. Go see that movie American Teen - it is good and with all the reality TV out there focusing on the young people it should be easy to just tune out this kind of half-friend.  And be as anti social as you like!! Dont worry about the labels others place on you.  Just worry about yourself.

Answer 5

do something outragious! don't think about being shy. if you wana make a friend all you can do is try. before starting a conversation with someone don't ever think about the outcome of the conversation and youll be good..

Answer 6

If somebody did that to me I would try not to let him know it bothered me. The way I would do that is practice in front of the mirror. Look in the mirror and pretend that you were just called anti social by this bone head, then say " Now soandso just cuz your mom is taking you to a shrink doesnt mean we all have YOUR diagnosis."

Now thats just me. And that might make it worse. Even if you don't say it to the guy its fun to think about saying it to him.

If you really were anti-social it would not bother you what he thinks of you. You wouldn't care what he thinks.

I think he is really insecure and when a person is really insecure they try and make another person feel as insecure as they feel.

So this guy must feel pretty bad about himself. Misery loves company.

Another thing you could say is " Did your mom forget your medication today." or " The nurses office was just here looking for you, they said your mom brought your meds to the school cuz you forgot to take them this morning." "And it looks like you really need them soon."

Or, " Did you say your parents were cousins?"

You need to make a real friend.He is not one I would want to keep. He doesnt deserve your friendship.

You said you just got over "social anxiety." Is it possible that you discussed your struggle with him and he is making a big deal about it?

Everybody has social anxiety. Some folks are just really good at hiding it.

Make a goal. Say hi to another shy person. And be friendly to someone who is also friendly. If you make it life and death you will die many times. With the subject of friendships, you are the CEO of your friends. If someone always makes you feel bad they get terminated. Fired. Give em the pink slip. Now replacement is always work but not as much as keeping a bad employee. If your gift of friendship to another person could be compared to a business, then you don't need to keep a negative business partner. They have disqualified themselves to be your friend by their behavior.

Choose again. This won't last forever. A good place to start is with a friendly person who may also be shy but not mean. Dump the bully.

Good luck.

Answer 7

A friend that brings down your self confidence isn't worth keeping you deserve better! to give you a boost of self confidence before school every morning remind your self of all the great things about your self and when you go to school start talking more to the kids in your class ask them for help on an assignment or something and before you know it you will have a new best friend that doesn't bring you down.  

Answer 8

This guy sounds like a jerk to me.

Not that most teenage boys aren't like this...they are going through all the same hormonal changes the girls are...well...thier own versions anyway...and it's not ok (in thier minds and those of their friends) for them to show any sort of compassion, caring or sensitivity.

And he probably acts differently around his friends than when it's just one on one.

The good news is, you'll be out of high school and into college soon, that is a very different environment - much more open and less cliquish.

My suggestion is to not let this guys behavior and insecurity make you feel bad.  Everyone has these feelings, everyone does things that embarass them and most people feel isolated or antisocial at some point in their life.

Being a teen is just plain hard - but things will progress, you will feel better about yourself and you will develope a comfort level around other people and be more at ease.  Just know that this all gets better with time, do your best every day and that is all you can expect of yourself.

Best wishes and good luck!!

Answer 9

Personally I think that he isn't a friend that you need to have. I too don't like talking to people I don't know and if one of my close friends were to do something like that it would be devastating. I think that you should distance yourself from him if you can. And don't let him take you down. Obviously you seem like a great person and maybe he's just jealous.

I too make acquaintances and have a few close friends... you are not Antisocial! So keep being you! don't listen to this guy and I know that it sucks because he was once a "close" friend to you but maybe its time to move on. :/

Answer 10

It's not right of him to totally ignore you but he is probably right you do sound a little antisocial which is common for some teenagers. Don't let it ruin your confidence just go up and talk to more people before school, in between classes, at lunch, and after school. Just get a wide variety of acquaintances and soon enough they will become friends. As for you friend calling you antisocial all the time just blow it off if you are trying that's all you can do and he shouldn't be such a prick about it.