If someday all states agree to unfettered access to sealed records, what should our next reform be?

Question

If someday all states agree to unfettered access to sealed records, what should our next reform be?

Answer 1

I think we should

--encourage the adoption of foster kids who really need homes

--end private adoption

--encourage open adoption

--end all forms of coercion in adoption

--enact laws insuring that no child can be relinquished without the informed consent of BOTH parents

--make comprehensive s*x ed and birth control available, free, to absolutely everyone

--educate all parties involved about what adoption does to first mothers and children, and how to minimize the bad effects so we can all get on with our lives a bit more easily

--raise girls to understand that they are not failures if they cannot or choose not to reproduce

--realize that, in a perfect world, there would be no adoptions, and that this is the goal to be worked toward, rather than "babies for all."

--do anything else we can to make sure adoption really is about the best interests of the child

Answer 2

Well, to find a way to keep the records sealed or filter the information.  It's not really fair to adoptive parents to bear all the risk, financial issues, heartaches, support a child, and have the biological parent then demand parental rights.

Answer 3

People like DT3238 should not be able to adopt, for starters.

Take the profit out of adoption.  All adoptions would be handled through the state, as in Australia...no agencies or lawyers.

No pre-birth matching.

Allow at least 30 to 60 days for the n-mother to change her mind.

Make open adoption agreements legally enforceable.

Release ALL records to the adoptees...not just OBC's but the adoption records from the agencies as well.

No contact betwee prospective adopters and pregnant women period.  No "dear birthmother" solicitations, no buying the pregnant mother clothes or paying her rent or any other items.  The mother and the PAP's are completely uninvolved with one another so there is NO chance of the mother feeling pressured.

We need better social programs to promote family preservation (or at least we need to advertise and promote the ones we have).  

Basically, we should model our system after the system in Australia.  They seem to have it right.

Answer 4

After we've secured equal rights for adoptees (as you suggest) I would like to see the removal of the profit-motive from adoptions as well as independent counseling for mothers considering relinquishing.  I do believe that our ultimate goal should be no unnecessary adoptions.  (One piece of that, too, will be encouraging couples who want to adopt to consider foster-to-adopt.)  There also needs to be counseling for prospective adoptive parents, to help them understand the challenges they, their family, and their adoptees may face.  That would help everyone, I believe.

Answer 5

Firstly, I want to respectfully disagree with one of the responses here regarding access.  The adoptive parents and natural parents have no say regarding access once an adopted person is an adult.  No other adult citizen is required to get his/her parents' permission or input prior to accessing his/her birth certificate.  I wish to be treated with the same respect and dignity, please.

There are so many areas of reform needed.  Taking the profit out of adoption will help get rid of some of the other issues by default.  We also need to focus on those in foster care.

Adoption is supposed to be about finding families for children without families, not finding children for people without children.  Put the children FIRST!

Answer 6

I would like to see legally enforced open adoption.

Answer 7

I would like to see the next reform to be about keeping the profit out of adoption.

If there's no profit in adoption alot of the other issues with adoption will go away.

Answer 8

I agree with all of these..BUT

what if the mother WANTS the aparents involved..

*GASP*  it does happen, you know.

What if the mother WANTS a closed adoption...

*GASP* that happens too..

Are these options to still be open to the birth mother?

Answer 9

Promotion of foster care adoptions.

Get rid of the inflated fee structures.

End coercion, more pre and post adoption therapy.

Gawd.. The list could go on and on and on.

Answer 10

I'm afraid the first issue may never come to pass.  There are so many variables here.  It seems that there is always going to be some type of exception to every rule and that would apply to release of records.

And I do believe that the three parties involved should at least get to voice their opinion (adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents).  Adoptive parents aren't the opposition against the other two.  They are an equal part of the equation.  It will take all three to agree before changes are made and I doubt you could even get one of the three to groups to agree with each other, much less everyone involved.

I guess what I'm saying is that I see a huge need for reform starting from the bottom up.  To tackle the most controversial of all of the issues is necessary, but shouldn't stop other reforms from being pushed.  Here in the US there are so many children in foster care that would love to be adopted.  That system is totally broken.  If it was improved even a little children in this country would live a better, safer, happier life.  There are also children in foster care who never want to be adopted.  Even if they are free to be adopted.  They shouldn't have to be.  But if they choose to spend their life in the foster care system then it should provide them with a safe, caring environment.  That is the exception now rather than the rule.  That is the battle I fight right now.

Answer 11

First moms and their rights. Adoption to be done ethically.

I would like to see their "open" adoption rights restored and AP's held legally and financially accountable for the damage and destruction they have caused.

Then all the other things that go with it that have been talked about in this forum.

1. no contact with mothers by AP's

2. mothers given a chance to have counseling and being told how they can keep their children.

3. mothers given more time for their decision to change their mind.

4. no AP's in the birthing room

5. solicitation of a mothers baby illegal

Just some thoughts, I'm sure someone else can put this much more eloquently than me. I'm in a bit of a hurry.