If someone asked you to buy them an expensive gift, on more than one occasion, how would you answer?

Question

My bf of only a few months thinks its cute or funny to ask me to buy him expensive gifts. The first was a new phone $300 - $400… which I didn’t get him. And now he’s asking me for Prada shoes… which I won’t get for him. I told him it sounds like he needs a sugar momma. I say it jokingly… but really it turns me off.

I think it’s inappropriate to ask for such gifts. I’m a single parent of one… and the only person in my life who would get anything in that price range is my son. Certainly not some guy I’ve know less than a year. I just don’t know how to tell him without being overly blunt or mean.

If I say what I want it will hurt his feelings for sure… that’s not what I’m trying to do. Just to stop him from asking for such things.

Answer 1

I'd be blunt about it, like "Dude, you work right?.. So... Yeah, you are going to have to be the one buying it for you. I don't have money like that".

Answer 2

He sounds like a freeloader to me, and you need to reign him in.  If he doesn't like it, tell him to hit the road.

Answer 3

I would tell him what you told us.  That sounds alright--that you would only  spend money like that on your son.  He is wrong to think otherwise.  That is just rude on his part.  

Answer 4

You're on the ball here.  It sounds like the guy is looking for a "sugar momma".  You really should re-examine this relationship and decide if that is the role you want to play for the rest of your life.

Is he not employed??  

Sure, it's one thing to drop hints, but requesting expensive gifts frequently is just irritating.  Sure, it's great to have high hopes and a desire for expensive things, but you need to live within your means.

You keep your priorities with your son.  As far as I'm concerned, the bf should be buying YOU Prada shoes...or buying your son a new phone.  

If I were you I would talk to him.  Tell your bf how you feel.  Don't deliberately hurt him, but don't censor your true feelings.  Say something like, "Look, I'm sorry I can't afford all these fancy things that you want.  I'll never be the woman who spends that amount of money on anyone but my son.  It's kind of offensive when you keep asking me for things that are completely unrealistic.  I don't need a constant reminder of what luxuries I'm "missing" out on.  I'm willing to offer you love, if you want expensive presents, go find yourself a sugar momma...or another job".

-Sorry, that sounds mean.  But I'm really not one to be passive.  I have a fiance, and sometimes you just need to be blunt with some issues.  I've talked to my fiance and he gets super frustrated when I passively tip-toe around the issue.  Just say how you feel.  

**WARNING: in being blunt, you need to be able to accept the consequences.  Don't tell him to go look for a "sugar momma" if it's not what you want.  He might take complete offense and go find himself someone else...but that just saved you years of heartache.  Just be tactful and think about what you're going to say.  If you're going to be blunt, then you need to tell him that you want to work with him.

Answer 5

You'll have to tell him flat out or he might never stop. I guess you could try ignoring his requests, but it could take forever for him to get the hint. Tell him to stop. tell him you're not buying him anything that costly, and finally, tell him that if he only wants you for what he thinks you'll buy for him, he can move on.

Answer 6

Is there a money tree on my property that I don't know about?

It is inappropriate for this man to ask you to buy him anything more expensive than a cup of coffee. This might be a sign of things to come in this relationship. Proceed with caution.

Answer 7

I thought the guy suppose to buy the girl nice gifts but maybe it's just me.  

Answer 8

say the same thing u wrote here. its inappropriate. tell him this: "hey i know u are joking but i don't like it when u ask for expensive things." thats all, see what he says. if he is considerate and an ok guy he will stop. if he doesn't and keeps at dump his asss. u dont need that foolishness u r a mommy.  

Answer 9

Tell him that you'll be glad to power up the computer for him so he can go on line, and use his very own credit card to place the order for himself.  Then smile sweetly.  

Honestly, and I did the same thing only I bought mine a freaking $5000 gift.  All my guy had to do was say, "I want that or I like that," and I would want him to have it.  I had to learn that I was sooooo wrong!!  Anything I buy for some guy is taking money from my family just like a thief.  And I had to look hard at what the heck my problem is - and it's not about the gifts, darling.  It's all about self esteem, low self worth and the inability to set boundaries.  I know that for myself.  There is hope.  Honestly, how dare any man ask any mother to buy him anything!!!  Wrong, it's just wrong.  

You can do it - repeat after me:  no.  There, wasn't that easy? :-)

Answer 10

That is an incredible turn-off. Don't take this wrong, but that seems very childish of a man (or woman). Particularly since you are a single parent and have a child who comes first.

I would say 'you can give me your wish list for your birthday,' until then I don't do gifts by request. Then it might, at least, limit the behavior without hurting his feelings.