If someone attacks you, what are ways for you to keep your cool?

Question

I think one of the true tests of character is how you react under attack. I'm a person who can stand their ground, too much to the point that when I sense the slightest attack, I attack back. Im talking about verbal attacks okay guys =)

I would like to be more 'zen'. What are ways to quickly regain control of your emotions before you start arguing....

Answer 1

punch them back and spit on them it always makes me calm

Answer 2

I think that's a really good quality you possess. In fact, I wish I was more like you. If anything, I'm quite the opposite. I suppose I'd be perceived as weak but I don't like to think I am... *sigh* I wish was stronger...

Answer 3

The best thing to do is yes them to death, and do it your way anyway.

Answer 4

Standing your ground is not a test of character.  

Standing your ground and turning the other cheek is a real test of character.

Even an atheist such as myself knows this little gem...go rent 'Ghandi' and see how he dealt with people.

Answer 5

I just stare at them like I could see through them because obvioiusly if they don't know how to act, they don't have anything inside them. Or a nice comment like "I'm sorry you feel that way" in a calm manner tends to p**s them off even more while you look serene :P

Answer 6

Laugh. Pretend what they are saying is completely hilarious. It will surprise your "attacker" and make you feel at peace and in control.

You could also start answering them in a different language (Spanish, German, American Sign Language, Pig Latin, or even gibberish). This will confuse them, and amuse you.

Answer 7

after they verbally assault you, say " I'm sorry, did you say something?" and keep a straight face. people can only make you angry if you allow them to

Answer 8

The trick of being in a Zen state is not to be able to re-gain your emotional control quickly, but to actually come from a place where you are not likely to lose your cool at all.  You just have to realize that people are people. often highly emotional creatures---and when they are b*tches to each other, it is often not so much about you personally as it is about something else that is bothering them.  If they are becoming confrontational, you remember that you can be more in control of your emotions and thoughts than they appear to be.  You either walk away, ignore them, or, if it is a situation which honestly seems to require your presence (e.g. someone is in a state of emotional emergency), then you try to counsel them (if you know how) or you call on someone who does.  Sometimes there are mental illnesses behind these sorts of things; and again, some people are just nitwits who don't know how to behave themselves.  I suggest journaling, artwork, and/or meditation to help you get into Zen.  Work from the inside, and your new inner calm will show on the outside.

Answer 9

I used to have a huge problem with my sister who is a verbal viper. She always knew the buttons to push to make me go off and physically thrash her. I had to learn over time that I can just walk away. I remember she isn't worth my time. It is a respectable way to handle attack. It isn't a retreat, it is knowing that you are too important to have to deal with people treating you badly.  I have actually said "I'm sorry but you know, you really aren't worth the energy to argue about this." and then walked away.

Answer 10

Keep practicing to stay under control

Answer 11

I can hold my own in a battle of words. But if someone were to try putting their hands on me,Oooo baby! You gonna have to learn how to wipe yourself with two hooks.

Answer 12

When you are verbally attacked, consider the source. WHY did they say that to you? Are they ignorant of the facts? Do they have an unfounded hatred for you? A Bigot is defined as an intolerant person: somebody with strong opinions, especially on politics, religion, or ethnicity, who refuses to accept different views. Are you a bigot? Are they? What will arguing with them accomplish? Usually when anger enters a conversation, reason leaves. You will not diffuse a situation with anger, and your point will not get through.  Abraham Lincoln once said, "a man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still." To "zen", think of the attacker as a child or a r****d (dont call them one of course) You wouldn't argue with a child when you know they are wrong would you? Agree to dis-agree. You can not change their minds, and they are entitled to their opinion.

Answer 13

I used to work as a Vegas casino dealer. We had to hear all sorts of garbage all day long from unhappy people.

i found doing daily yoga and relaxation exercises before work, helped me get through the day without really responding to anyone.

i worked with a really sweet Chinese women and she was always at total peace all day long every day and she had worked in that casino for25 years straight.I asked her how she did  it without going crazy.

She was a Buddist and said she chanted Budda's name all day long in her head and never really even heard the idiots,( of course the word idiots is mine she was too sweet to talk like that.)

Answer 14

Just keep your cool. If things start to get bad, just take a deep breath and walk away.

Answer 15

just look at the person and laugh at them internally. it makes you think of them as an idiot, and don't respond to idiots.  and then jsut think of something witty to say back

Answer 16

Start asking questions. "why are you attacking me?" "why are you so hostal?" "are you going to calm down now?" and my favorite is "Okay, whenever your done."   If that doesnt work end the conversation with a pleasantry and with a calm demeanor pretend to be in a hurry.  Works for me.

Answer 17

what like a verbal attack? I just laugh it off. and say whatever

Answer 18

Well I just come up with better comebacks  

Answer 19

Start laughing and walk away. That gets to people.