If someone else pees for me for a drug test.. Am I gonna get busted?

Question

I'm getting a good job, and since I was having lots of fun because I just finished high school, I didn't measure myself and smoked pot for almost a whole month... I took the interview 2 days ago... and I was told I needed a drug test.. T_T... This changed my life, I have a friend that it's clean and she's willing to pee for me.. I noticed in the drug test form that it says it must be between 90F-120F temperature.. My idea is to put it in a Ziploc bag.. (good one) and seal it from oxygen fast.. and make sure it stays warm.. (Don't laugh at this one but I'm gonna put it under my testicles.. since that area of my body releases heat..) AND I will put 4-5 underwear on... so that it heats the pee even more...

Now my question is.. this gonna work? Do they do any type of DNA tests? Can they notice it's a girl's pee instead of a guys'?

HELP PLEASE..

BTW: for all of you who just answer rubbish.. don't waste my time please. I'm serious about this.

Answer 1

No, it's not going to work. That's the short answer.

Answer 2

no it will not work... nothing you could possibly think of hasn't been thought of before... those testing places know all of the tricks and you will not get away with it.

Stop smoking pot, wait a month and then try again. You made the decision to smoke so now you have to deal with it... not saying this to be judgmental. I smoked for years but when I decided I wanted a criminal justice career, i quit. Just something you have to do. if you didn't plan ahead then it's your own dumb fault. deal with it

Answer 3

good idea i would try if i was you

Answer 4

No.

Don't put the pee under your nuts - insert it in your a**s in case they strip search you at the testing place. Sometimes they have state police there who'll ask permission to search you, and if you refuse, well....

Look, we get tested at our workplace, and I've had to hoop (which means, "insert object into a**s") many a condom full of co-worker pee. I always consent to the strip search, and then go into a stall and blow some major, rank farts to get the troopers to move away from my stall. No kidding.

Then I pull out the pee condom, get up, and pour it into the sampling container, and bada boom, bada bing, I'm walking out of that stall with a smile as big as Tony Soprano and with my chest out, confidently handing the imposter pee straight to the trooper. I shake his hand with the hand on which the finger I used to bore the condom out of my a**s is on, and he gives me a nice, professional shake.

Then I wash my hands good and clean a number of times and use some Purel to clean up the finger.

Look, Lazurass, I'm not saying, go try this at home. I'm not saying its legal. I'm saying, hey, this is what I do and it works for me. If you can't be cool about it (which to me it already seems like you won't be able to, from the way you speak and how little you know about this), then hey, you gonna get  batted down because the trooper is gonna see you boring your b******e for the condom through the cracks of the stall, and game over. So, like I said, if you can't be cool, well, this ain't for you dude.

Answer 5

I sincerely hope so.  

Answer 6

See what drugs do to you????  They make you ask questions like this!!!!!!

Yes, you will get busted.