If someone is going through pain & suffering, whether they deserve it or not, do you feel sorry for them?

Question

I feel sorry for people VERY easily, even if they're wrong. If they're hurt mentally, physically, sexually, etc., I feel bad for them.

It breaks my heart that someone goes through pain-physical or psychological, & someone else says, "She deserved it. I DON'T feel sorry for her!" I think that's cruel for people to be so cold-hearted.

People take advantage of me, & misuse & abuse me in EVERY way they can, for no reason. I don't have to do anything. They treat me like this because of my disability. & then, they lie on me, trying to make me like the criminal. After the cops abuse me & threaten to throw me in jail, the people laugh & say, "Ah, ha! That's why I beat your @$$ & YOU almost got locked up!" (in a teasing way). People are very cruel & abusive, & they bully me for no reason.

I don't like to see myself or anyone else hurt. If something bad happens to you that's beyond your fault, ex: Hurricane Katrina, people say they wish I would've drowned.

Answer 1

I agree with you..........I find it very difficult to judge the circumstances around bad things that happen to others as "their fault". We don't always know the whole story; other people's pain is not always transparent to the world, either.

As for you , you need better friends.  Try to surround yourself with people who understand your disability.  Look for a social or support group, or if you are religiously inclined, find a good supportive church home.

No one deserves the abuse you are taking....so don't let others have power over you that they don't deserve.

All the best.

Answer 2

i use to be overly emotional too!

Then i stopped carring what others said to me unless i truely valued their opinion!

sweety i'm sure your great person but you need to thicken up your skin a bit!  and stop letting them hurt you!  i'm with you i hate to see people upset pain ect... but what really gets me is when they let it happen!  THAT hurts ME!

Answer 3

When I see someone hurt, I am glad its not me. Is that the same thing? I think so

There are millions suffering in the world, you can'tcare about all of them so why should you care about any of them?

Your pity towards them eflects how you want people to treat you. Do you want to be an underdog all your life, pitied rather than respected?

Answer 4

what you have described yourself to be is called a pushover.  it's time for you to set your boundaries so that people cannot take advantage, misuse, and abuse you in ANY way.  it can be difficult at first, trying to set your boundaries, but after some practice, you'll get used to it.  you could start by saying "no" when you really don't want to do/have something...and by saying how you truly feel about things. people who are taking advantage of you now will notice this, and will not like it, but that's too bad for them.

as far as feeling bad for others' misfortune, well - all you can really say is "wow, that's too bad" or "i'm sorry you're dealing with that" and move on.  while i am sympathetic, it's not an issue that i have to deal with personally, on a daily basis, as i have my own issues that require my attention.  people who have suffered through tragedies beyond their control will always have my sympathies.  however, using your Katrina example, there are people who may have lost everything that they had, but lived on state assistance, relied on public transportation and made no preparations for a disaster, or even their financial future.  while i feel terrible that they have nothing, how should we feel about the fact that some of them have done nothing to secure their financial futures?  they cannot rely on the government for everything - and guess what - nobody has to replace what's already been given to them.  they need to work hard to get themselves back together.  

every situation, no matter how bad it may seem, entails some responsibility to the person.  what i'm saying is:  sometimes, we bring our woes onto ourselves.  even when it happens and it's "not our fault" - we didn't do anything to prepare - and that IS our fault.

set your boundaries and try to apply your sympathetic feelings to yourself for a change.