If someone works for the adoption industry, is there ANY WAY?

Question

If someone works for the adoption industry, is there ANY WAY they don't know about the corruption within the system? They, may not be corrupt in what they do, but you would ave to be blind to not see it.

What do you think?

Answer 1

Lara, what, if anything do you know about 'the system'?

How much time have you spent with foster children and in orphanages overseas?

What courses have you taken to learn about attitudes toward unwed mothers and b*****d children at home and abroad?

You see extremely suggestible. You claim to have been bamboozled by an agency and now you've been bamboozled by a group of trolls on Yahoo! Answers who probably think that spinning you around is the funniest game in town.

You made a post about your agency and seemed to have some concern about their sliding fee schedule. Without details relayed by a calm and rational adult it is difficult to be certain but it doesn't sound as if anything was amiss. But GUESS WHAT?

If it was it is YOUR fault that you choose a lousy agency. Not anyone else's and it most certainly is not an indication that adoption is the problem.

One of the reasons that I came to this board is because some people are interested in adoption and really don't know how to find a reputable agency. Some people don't know how to find a good accountant either. I think you should probably have put a lot more time into learning about your agency and I can see why you might regret your failure but own it and don't try to blame everyone else for your mistake.

Was your agency corrupt?

How so?

What precisely did they do that you thing was wrong?

And why haven't you reported them?

--> Lara, you seem a little disturbed. If you have had no experience with an agency for either domestic or international adoption and arranged a private adoption then what qualifies you to speak on this issue?

Agencies do not and should not work for free, most people who adopt recognize that services are provided and have to be paid for.

If you need help choosing an agency or learning about adoption, I will help you. But enough of the crazed rhetoric.

If you have a secret, feel free to share it or at least explain what you're talking about.

Answer 2

I honestly do not believe that they know it IS corruption.  I didn't.  I don't believe that people sit at the adoption agency twisting their mustaches and coming up with schemes to separate perfectly good mothers from their babies so that they can line their pockets.  They don't look at it that way.  You CAN'T look at it that way and sleep at night.  I've had quite a few talks with our social worker, and it seems to me that she has an inkling of what's right...but hasn't really sat down and organized her thoughts enough to recognize that separating mothers and children for money isn't really a good thing.  To them, they're performing a service.  A woman "doesn't want" her child (of course, they don't stop and think about how the woman feels she's not good enough, or that their next door neighbor who KEPT their kids makes less money, or how many single mothers they root for IRL).  I honestly don't believe that they are thinking about getting a paycheck when a mother is considering changing her mind and they use all their filthy tactics to talk her into changing it back.  Don't ask me what they ARE thinking, because I just can't wrap my mind around that one.  But I have a really hard time believing that someone can sit in an office 40 hours a week for years on end purposely separating children from their mothers for money, with the full realization of how corrupt that is, in itself (not even adding in all the sick and twisted things that happen in addition to that).

But then maybe I'm still stuck on the sunshine and roses as far as that's concerned.  You know what I'll do?  After we adopt (and I'm no longer beholden to my agency), I'm going to interview the social workers at my angency and tell you all what they say.  Because this is such a good question, and I don't have an answer for you.  HOW does a person convince themselves that talking a woman out of her baby so that THEY can have a paycheck is ok?  Because I know that's what they do - they convince themselves somehow that this is the right and good thing to do.  The HOW of it is what makes me wonder.

You rock.  Great question.

ETA:  Like Lara, my agency isn't "finding" a child for me.  I'm adopting through foster care.  The agency is a go-between, and I paid for nothing but a homestudy.  And my social worker ONLY works with state caseworkers - she does not "find" children for anyone.  She ships paperwork back and forth between families and DHS until a match is made - BY DHS.  She doesn't separate mothers and children, period.  She works with OTHERS who do that for a living.

Answer 3

"Not every adoption was corrupt nor was every baby that has been adopted been stolen.."

So does that make the ones that WERE corrupt okay?

Answer 4

There is a big difference between systemic corruption and individual corruption.  I'm sure there are individuals within the system, any system for that matter, who do not always work with the best interests of others at heart.  They work for their own self interests in what ever way they are working.

No, I don't believe that those working in the adoption field (I won't call it an "industry" because it's not the same as the car industry or the mining industry) know about corruption within the system.  I still believe that for the most part the system works as it should and is set up to help people and children.  Any incidents of corruption or fraud are the result of corrupt individuals, not some grand conspiracy within the system.  

One, two or three plane crashes within the years worth of 10s of thousands of flights does not make an unsafe mode of travel any more then some bad adoptions makes a whole corrupt system.  

Answer 5

Yes they know. They might try to act dumb. One social worker  that worked on stealing my grandson knew what was happening wasn't right and stepped down but then a real smart social worker stepped in to do the dirty work and is award was being sued. And his adoption agency paying alot of their member's hard earn money out to the natural father which gives him plenty of money to fight for the return of his child. What i would have like to happen is the social worker spending some nights in jail for kidnapping. But I guess his best reward will happen in his judgment day. Let him explain what thou shall not steal means.

Answer 6

If not blind - then incredibly stupid.

If neither of those - greedy.

Answer 7

I have only dealt with one adoption agency.  My grandson was put up for adoption without my son's knowledge.  My son works full time so he asked for my assistance since I stay at home.   I dealt with this agency honestly and with kindness.  They acted nice and helpful.  I did everything that they told me to do.  The adoption was supposed to be open and so my son and I went through a process dictated by the agency in order to contact the aparents.  When my son asked for a DNA test and a formal open adoption agreement with the parents, (Notice that he could have tried to get custody and he chose not to) the agency turned on us like a rabid dog.  They made the most rude and dishonest comments that you could imagine.  I truly do not know how they sleep at night.  

They have the adoptive parents thinking that my son is trying to pull the child from them.  The agency wants the aparents to think that they need the agency to protect them. If the aparents knew that the agency didn't follow the proper protocol for identifying nfathers then they could sue the agency too.  The agency doesn't care if the child knows his nfather or not.  They don't care about how anyone is affected except for themselves.

I think that at least this agency and the people that I have dealt with in this agency must know that they are corrupt.  How could they not?  

Answer 8

No, I believe that there has to be an element of awareness, just as human beings, and as educated professionals. It is impossible to not know when the anguish that is adoption is seen routinely.   However,  power is seductive.  Industry professionals have the power of God, creating families, deciding who is most worthy and redistributing the wealth that is our children. At the risk of being cliche, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.  Adoption social workers have a lot of power and it takes a very strong person to resist the temptation to misuse it.

Sandy Young

Senior Mother

SMAAC

added: there are no such things as "acceptable losses" in adoption. One child taken wrongly, one woman destroyed unnecessarily is too many.

Suzy, your statement below took me aback!  You are actually referring to children born out of wedlock as b******s.  I am horrified and yet this says so very much about you.

Answer 9

This is from an article interviewing social workers, these with the "Pregnancy and Early Parent Counseling Program," Children's Home and Aid Society, Chicago, Illinois. [Curtis, P. (1990). An ethnographic study of pregnancy counseling. Clinical Social Work Journal, 18, 243-256]

Surprisingly, workers complained about pressure from social workers who work with adoptive parents. One worker said, "I feel there is an expectation that we get these mothers into an adoption program. Especially white girls. There is subtle pressure to produce babies. So where are we going to get them?"

Such pressure can put them into conflict with their own goals. One worker complained, "The better I get at my job, the less mothesr are willing to relinquish. I get them to face their feelings of loss, then they can't do it. That gets the adoption workers angry because there are no babies to adopt." This can result in hurt feelings and mixed loyalties. As one work ersaid, "When I talk to the adoption staff about a mother and then she decides against relinquishing her baby, I feel I have let them down." (p. 254)

THIS IS PROOF OF COERCION EVEN IN AGENCIES THAT PROVIDE "PARENTING" SUPPORT AS WELL AS ADOPTION SERVICES!