If the father want to give the baby up too does anyone have to know?

Question

If he's married and wants it to go away can he just sign papers and no one has to know.

Answer 1

Hun.. babies don't just go away. They stay in your heart forever.

As for the loser you are dealing with, well he might be able to have it "go away" for a while. Until this child decided he or she wants to know where he or she came from and then "daddy" will have to face reality. Nobody will have to know but you should be aware that in the very near future all adopted people will be able to see who their parents are and get all the papers. So he won't be able to hide forever. There are too many people working for open records already and the number is growing every day.

This man is trying to hide you from his wife. I don't see how that will ever work. You can't be expected to hide yourself away so he can save his marriage, that just isn't right. He needs to act like a man and stop running from his bad choices. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. My babe's dad was the same way but he was not married to anyone else. He just didn't want to deal with being a father. I'm so sorry, if I can help let me know.

Answer 2

dont give up your baby for a married man. thats the kind of thing you'll regret for the rest of your life. any man thats having an affair, gets another woman preganat then tries to get rid of it is a disgusting person. you deserve better. dont make a silly mistake and dont make ur innocent baby suffer at the hands of this idiot!

Answer 3

If his marriage is your only reason for considering adoption don't do it. He isn't going to be married to her for ever. She is going to find out about one of the ones before you or one of the ones after you and you will have done it for nothing. Plan your own life from here on out and read, read, read about just what you are headed for if you do. I'm not trying to change your mind about adoption, but you have not stated that you can't, won't, be able to care for the child, only that he needs to keep a secret. In a few years I don't think the emptiness your going to feel is going to be worth what you did for a man who is going to move on if he hasn't already. Add this info to the already stated effects it is going to have on your child. He has made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want to be part of the equation, why are you considering him as a factor?

Answer 4

The father has to sign away his rights legally for any adopting situation, same as the mother.  The putative father registry is for those dads that think they have a child or children out there who may have been placed for adoption where they are registered in case children come up with an "unknown dad" situation. Those registries are searched for dads that may be related to the situation to ask them to relinquish paternal rights to the child (or to give them a chance to contest the adoption if they so choose to do). Legally they must be given that chance to relinquish or parent, regardless if one parent does not wish to parent.

Any independent adoption, agency adoption or foster care situation that you enter into with the child will require both parents rights be removed and for a proper legal set of steps to be followed regarding the adoption. There is no"it's your child do what you want" in the site of a court when it involves adoption.

Answer 5

IF you feel the same way he does--that the baby should "go away" so "no one has to know"--then I can only hope you are still in your first trimester, because abortion is probably the right choice for you.

Human beings always want to know who they are and where they came from.  You cannot discard a child the way you discard a soft drink can and expect that child to never come looking for you and/or its father for answers.

Answer 6

THATS DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... SHOULD NOT BE ALOUD TO HAVE ANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

What about the child's rights here??

Is the child never allowed to know where he/she came from???

Seriously messed up for the child.

I'm an adoptee - I know.

Please think carefully about what you are doing to your own child here.

What's done is done. You need to deal with this - for the sake of the child. You are setting up the child to have a life of COMPLETE shame.

It's hard enough being separated from your own mother/family - but to be forever a secret just because two adults had s*x - when they shouldn't have.

Sorry - no sympathy here. This child is going to be VERY messed up if you go ahead with what you are planning.

I'm sorry if this upsets you - but I'm thinking of how your child will be just one more really messed up adoptee.

I've seen and felt that pain - deep deep in my soul - and in the souls of other adoptees.

Don't commit this child to such a path - please.

If you chose adoption - so be it - but this child may well want more info when he/she is an adult. How do you think this child will feel???????

Answer 8

legally the father doesn't have any say whatsoever in putting the child up for adoption.  so if your baby's father just wants to sign the piece of paper and have it done with, it can be done.

Answer 9

He has to sign away his rights. I hope you aren't considering giving your baby up just because this married man wants you too. He doesn't want his wife to know he got you pregnant, so no baby no proof. You are in a sad situation, but don't let anyone bully you. I know you are probably in love with him, but if he hasn't left his wife knowing you are pregnant, he isn't going to leave her ever. You should keep the baby and give up the man.

Just my opinion!

Answer 10

a father can sign over his rights without anyone knowing. A mother can do the same thing -- the reason people know is that she's been pregnant.

Answer 11

As one person said, rarely does a secret stay a secret.  I am the child of a married man and a single woman.  My father wanted me because his wife could not have any more children.  In the Baby Scoop Era of adoption, he didn't have the choice.  That child will eventually discover his truth.  This won't go away.  Sorry.

Answer 12

Are you asking can a married man who got his mistress pregnant give up his rights to the child with out anyone knowing?  You would have to check with an attorney but I really don’t see why he wouldn’t be able to. If a person signs their rights to the birthchild away its really only that persons business.   However it’s likely this bomb will one day come out,  even if this cheating husband signs away all rights to this child.  The child may want to one day seek out his or her natural father. Then it would be  bomb dropped on the entire family.  Even more if this man is still with his wife, if they have children together, the effects would probably ripple like a pound.

Answer 13

It may not be something that would be a secret forever. It probably will come out in the open one day, but in my opinion I would love if you did not have an abortion so that someone like me that cannot have children could have a little one. I am beginning the adoption process and would love to take a child in. I hope you make a choice that is best for you! Good Luck with your decision and thank you for sharing.

Answer 14

Rarely is a secret a forever secret.

Are you pregnant? If you are, do NOT abandon the child to the adoption machine.

Answer 15

Do not give up the baby soley because he's married to someone else or to 'save him embarrassment. '  I knew a woman who did that and fortunately, she did that in Massachusetts because she got her baby back 4 months later.  He later denied it was his baby, but today, that isn't an option with DNA.

However, yes, he can usually sign the papers and be off.

Answer 16

how convenient!  he has the wife, the pretty young girlf-friend and...no responsiblity!!!

this guy is a clown.  

i honestly don't know if he can do that. please check with the domestic relations court in your county.  

ps. i really hope you are longer seeing him...

Answer 17

JUST SO YOU KNOW, we, adoptees, don't go away forever, and eventually someone will know.

Answer 18

Legally, it depends the state in which the child is relinquished.

Morally, the only person who needs to know is the baby, child, and someday an adult.  Secrets and lies in adoption are immoral.

Someday the child will want to know his/her origins.  If the mother truly cares about her child, she will assure that her child has age appropriate access to his/her origins.

Answer 19

There are different laws in every state, but I don't see why not, in Ohio, where I live, no one has to know.  Don't listen to that other chick that wrote in.  Believe me, if you think it is best to give your baby up, stick with that, because I decided to keep two that I shouldn't have and their lives (and mine) would have ended up much better if I would have let someone else much more ready for a baby, and I know plenty of adoptive parents that are the most wonderful parents because they were ready for a baby and wanted one for so long, they're usually not the types to mess it up.

Answer 20

1) Adultery is a horrible thing.

2) he can sign away his rights, but it takes 2 to tango.....if he signs away his rights he cant be forced later to help with financial obligations.

3) He is an *** by trying to save his marriage.  Keep the baby and make him pay.  His wife will find out eventually.  Shame to keep her in that relationship, its not fair to her.

Answer 21

Yes he can sign away all rights to the child. As for the rude remarks you get ignore them. There are allot of very narrow minded people on here that will condemn you if you don't share their opinions. Just because you give your child up for adoption does not mean that you are condemning them to a bad life. It just might be that you are giving them a chance for a very good life. Don't let others influence you with their negative attitudes. Adoption is not a bad thing just because some of them have issues does not mean that all of us (and I was) adopted have bad attitudes. This is your choise and no one elses. Just make sure that you have thought it out carefully first. Then if that is what you decide get a lawyer and have them help you decide which is the right way for you to do this. Good luck and God bless you.