If the man pays on the first date...?

Question

& he buys you a dessert too? Does that make it an official "date" or not, should the woman have paid? Is it tradition or is it kind of sexist, assuming that the woman can't pay for her meal?

Answer 1

It's only a date if you both agreed it was a date and don't be patronizing if he pays he is just a nice guy

Answer 2

If he asks you out, and pays for the evening, it sure looks like a date alright. :-)

It doesn't matter if she can pay her way or not. If a man asks a woman out then he should be able pay if he wants to avoid looking like a fool at best and a mooch at worst.

Whenever I'm out on the town with my partner, I always pay for the evening out. She has her own money, and could support herself very well if we ever separated, but we have both agreed that as long as we are together, the purse strings--and her strings--are mine to pull. So it sort of makes sense that I pay.

Answer 3

Sounds like a date to me.

As far as I know, many guys enjoy paying for the first date, and caring for the women in their lives. It's not sexist. He was just being nice.

If you were out with a female friend and she treated you to a latte or something, would you assume that she thought you couldn't afford it, or would you accept it as a nice gesture? The same logic applies in this situation.

Also, later on in the relationship, it's perfectly fine to pay for things. If I go to a movie with my boyfriend, he usually covers the tickets and I'll get us some candy or popcorn. I'm usually pretty strapped for cash but I'm always prepared to cover something. He appreciates it when I show up with some stale gummy bears (he loves them more than life itself) or get him a water bottle on a hot day- but if we're on something like a date (i.e not just hanging out being all coupley) he prefers to pay.

Anyway, it sounds like you have a gentleman on your hands. Go for the second date.

Answer 4

I don't know if it is an official date.  It think it depends a lot on other things in the relationship.  I have had complete friends pay for things for me because they are generous people (I usually return the favor).  I am married...I KNOW it isn't a "date".  But if you are single it is defiantly a little something.

Answer 5

There are different laws and different states. In some states if the woman pays for the desert and leaves the tip, then it's just a "meet-up". But in North Carolina, the woman is forbidden to leave the tip under any circumstances. But in almost all states of the U.S., if the man pays for it all then it is classed as a "Date" for legal purposes.

If costs are split down the middle in California, it is "Just Hanging Out".

Answer 6

you are so cute, my little black princess you.  

Answer 7

It's not presumptuousnes, it's kindness.

Don't let PC rules ruin what may have been an otherwise wonderful date.

Answer 8

Definitely a date :)

I don't think it's sexist..especially if he asked you

I was recently a bridesmaid in a wedding, I paid for my date's hotel room, I insisted upon it because I was the one to request his company

Answer 9

I guess it could be referred to as a tradition. The man often feels it's his role to pay on the first date, and women usually are more comfortable knowing that he will. I don't think it's sexist, it's just the kind and generous thing for him to do. If he was the one to initiate the date, then I believe that he should definitely be the one to pay, otherwise that would somewhat defeat the purpose of him asking you out for dinner; and same goes for you. If you continue seeing each though, then you should start alternating who pays when you go out. Women shouldn't use these opportunities as a free pass to treat men like ATM machines.

Answer 10

I've always thought that the person who does the inviting, does the paying.

Answer 11

>>>is it kind of sexist, assuming that the woman can't pay for her meal?>>>

Only the most hard-core feminazi type would say "yes" to that.

.

Answer 12

I think that whoever asks you on the date should pay for the meal because he or she should expect to pay...i mean if you asked someone out it would be really mean to make your date pay!

Answer 13

It is tradition. I think that the man is a douche if he doesn't offer to pay first. I would take my husband(then boyfriend) out and pay for it when he didn't have the money, but other than that he payed.

Answer 14

It's tradition, but I think that the man should pay. Especially if the guy was the one who asked the girl out. Doesn't dinner usually make it a date??

Hi sis-in-law above me!!