If the person you thought was your father your whole life turned out NOT to be, would you want to know?

Question

I just found out through a member of my boyfriends family that the man who has been his dad his whole life, isnt actually his dad. I guess his mom cheated with a friend of the family or something. He has 2 brothers and he is the middle one, and they have all always thought they had the same dad. Anyway, my boyfriend who is 24 doesn't know about this. I don't know if I should tell him. Would you want to know that your dad really wasn't your father after thinking he was your whole life? I think it would crush him and I don't want to tell him, but I also don't want to keep something like this from him. What would you do?

Answer 1

I wouldn't want to know, because it doesn't really make a difference whether or not he is your biological father or not, the man that raised you is your real father.

Answer 2

i have had my step father all my life     i called him dad still to this very day. i have met the man whom is my real father but i know my dad .         any man can be a father  but it is even harder to be a dad   and if this is the dad he knows  why would he want to know .... besides all of this i think that you knowing this  concerns you more than him.  let it go let nature be what it is . it doesn't make his sibling less his  or his mom less  and in fact in his dad's eyes not his .  let it go .

Answer 3

i would want to know But i dont think you should tell him let his family tell him

Answer 4

Maybe he knows and just doesn't talk about it. I know a few people like that. Ignorance is bliss. I would not want to be the one to tell him. It might cause him to be angry with you.

Answer 5

If the man who acted as my father did a good job, no I would not want to know unless there is a serious medical reason. I had a friend who was adopted and once told me, "I don't need to find who my parents are. The people who are my parents now ARE my parents."

I agree. Father and mother titles don't mean much. Those loving people who take loving care of you ARE your parents regardless who conceived you. I don't think it is your place to tell him. If he is happy and well adjusted, why throw a wrench into the mix? If you still cannot decide, I would say call up a counselor and ask them either over the phone or during one office visit. I do understand why you would not want to keep something like this a secret, but I'd say call a counselor in any case.