If there is no such thing as God, where did Moses get the power to f**t the Red Sea?

Question

He just raised his hands, and the sea parted. What formal person could do that, without help from God?

Answer 1

the devil tempted him with beano

Answer 2

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BEST TYPO IN AGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROFLWAFFLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got it!!!! he ran out of Gas X that Day!!!!!!

This is priceless, Thank You!!!!

*Edit*

The Devil tempted Him with beano!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROTFLMAO!!

I think I just soiled Myself!!!!!

*Edit 2*

And Lo, Verily did Moses bend over and from His sphincter there came a mighty wind which parteth the seas, and thus was the Glory of the mighty Beano revealed.

*Edit 3*

He spilt the Sea? Really? Musta been a helluva big bowl He had that in.

Answer 3

Was he getting an e***a with a firehose?

How do you know it really happened?  

Answer 4

Tee hee Bunny, You said, "f**t".  Moses parted the sea with his staff. It was a miracle.

Answer 5

I think maybe I should put my glasses on and read this again.

Answer 6

LMAO!!!!! f**t the Red Sea hu? Was he getting analed?

Answer 7

You are funnay

Answer 8

I'm out of breath to say anything much. But thx for the mood lifter. :D

Answer 9

I think Tragic Typos has a soul mate!

Answer 10

Your right! No normal person could have done that. It had to be a miracle from God.  

Answer 11

its just a story.... like how jack climbed up the magic bean stock

Answer 12

I understand what you meant, even though you mis-typed the question. I have to say that I did laugh. Sorry. Yes, it was with the help of God when Moses parted the red sea. I certainly won't send you  to "h**l" for a few typing errors like one Christian?? did.

Answer 13

That must have been one h**l of a colonic.

Answer 14

Everyone knows that god wanted the biggest jacuzzi of ALL TIME, so he inserted the great wind into Moses, and with a thunderous CLAP!  the sea did then bubble and moan, the waves shifting and moving, the holy f**t sucking up all the water from the depths of the sea, to allow god's little followers to toddle along across...

and all the while, god got to enjoy himself in the bubbling waters of the sea, watching the Israelites hold their noses as thy scurried along, while he sipped a very dry martini and had the holy ghost scratch his back with a really big pine tree.

like....duh....

ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  you are awesome!!!!!!

Lady M

Answer 15

Farted is so funny, but then you corrected your mistake and wrote "meat" instead of "meant" - what a dork!

Answer 16

Lmao, f**t?

Thanks for making my day. With the 'homer sexuality' and this, im good for a week.

xD

Answer 17

Are you a disciple of "Tragic Typos"???

Answer 18

Prove this event isn't entirely fictional.

Answer 19

Please tell me that's a typo.  He didn't raise his hands and "f**t" the Red Sea.  Puh-leeez.

Answer 20

to everyone aboves brilliant interpretations of the above typo:

HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

kudos to Jesus Chrust Pizza: you have a hilarious name.

but you are tho theirious. LOL!!!

i thought you were serious for a second.

and in my honest opinion, you cant say that moses had the power to part the sea without saying that god is real, its a two way street.

second, i believe in god and moses, but there isn't any really concrete evidence that moses in fact DID part the sea, we just take the bible's word for it.

Answer 21

oh man. i got a good laugh out of this one.

Answer 22

of course god (allah) exist.do NOT believe any1 that plays with ur head and tells u tht he doesn't exist.and yes moses parted the sea with help from god.

Answer 23

LMFAO!!!!!

hahahaha,

wow.

Answer 24

That's blasphemous to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, OH..btw it is not called the red sea, it's the pasta sea!!

Answer 25

Taco bell.

Answer 26

Dear Bunny,  This question with the typo has brought more smiles to R&S than any I have ever seen. :)

There have been numerous modern attempts to find the non-supernatural origin for this story. The most  popular theory is a tsunami produced by the explosion of a volcano on the island of Thera parted the water allowing Moses and his clan to pass through safely.

Bible scholars have long viewed this incident as a clear example of a supernatural event on behalf of the Hebrew people. A miracle is, by definition, something that you cannot explain naturally. The parting of the Red Sea is one such event.

(((Bunny)))  

Answer 27

oh dear, that is just hilarious.  I have never thought that it was him farting the red sea.

Seriously, though, why are you so convinced it happened that way?  There are so many other explanations for what could have happened, if it did.

Answer 28

Well there is some truth tho it was the reid sea a swampy marsh no miracle involved i am afraid that's why there are no miracles now it was just primitive people who thought the earth was flat