If this happened to you, would you think your husband didn't care about you?

Question

Last night, I made chili for dinner and seeded the jalapenos without gloves (yes, I know...stupid). It didn't burn my hands right away, but at 12:30 at night, I woke up with my hand in horrible pain. It felt like my hand was splitting open. It was so intense that I couldn't sleep or even concentrate on anything else. I didn't know how to solve the problem and my husband was just coming to bed. I was moaning in pain and my husband said I needed to solve the problem quick because he was tired and needed to sleep. I offered to sleep on the couch, but he said just to wash my hand or put it in some milk and come to bed. I tried a lot of things, but it didn't help. When I was still in pain, my husband came downstairs and was ordering me around on what to do and saying that I didn't do the things I tried properly. He was being insulting about not using gloves. He started yelling at my cat for meowing at me to pet him because the cat was annoying him. He finally went up to bed and I looked online and solved the problem myself at 2:30 in the morning. My husband felt bad for the way he acted this morning and was trying to be inquisitive about my hand and how I was feeling. He apologized and said he felt terrible. My friend who I explained this to thinks he was pretending to care so that I wouldn't be mad. What would you think if this happened to you?

Answer 1

If he didn't care he wouldn't have came downstairs to help you and he wouldn't have apologized to you this morning. He could have approach the situation better but he didn't and when he realized he was wrong he apologized. Sometimes getting advise from your friends can hurt your marriage more than help it.

Answer 2

Calm down. All this indicates is that your husband was not in a good mood. He apologised to you and what he did really wasn't that bad. I know it hurt your feelings but he is not perfect and in fact is a human being who makes mistakes.  

Answer 3

So accept his apology and be done with it. Why would he be pretending? Has he done this in the past?  May be your friends husband does this to her. He apologized and said he felt terrible for last night so I would let it go. If you question this than he has a reason to be mad at you. And if my husband acted like this , because he was tired I'd blow it off.

Answer 4

Well it was late and he was tired.  Insensitive yes, bad husband no.  You would do the same to if you were trying to go to bed and your mate is not letting you.

He said he was sorry, let that be that.

Answer 5

Sometimes men are an insensitive creature. :)  That doesn't mean he doesn't care about you -- he probably does care but was simply tired, cranky, and annoyed.

I disagree with your friend -- think about this.  If he were pretending to care so you wouldn't get mad at him, don't you think he would have been doing that last night to avoid all the explaining and nagging he's going to have to do and deal with as a result of his behavior last night?  

I'm sure he loves you. :)  Talk to him later about how he made you feel like he doesn't care about you.  Explain that it hurt your feelings when he left you alone in pain to go "get his sleep" -- what about YOUR sleep?  

I'm sure he'll try to make it up to you.  In the meantime, try to forgive him.  Sure, he acted like an a**hole, but you know what -- we all do at times, and men can be very insensitive sometimes. :)

Good luck -- and glad your hand is better.

Answer 6

You prepared dinner, ate dinner, did the dishes, got undressed and went to bed and somewhere in the interim you never washed your hands? What up with that. Lemme tell you something...d**n good thing you didn't decide to either play with yourself or him or both because you and he would have gone to the moon without a rocket.

It's oils and they wash off with soap and water. And I've never heard of anyone chopping hot peppers and feeling agonizing pain several hours later. That to me sounds more than just some lousy peppers that barely read out on the Scoville Scale.

So I don't think his reaction and apology are the issue. The issue is either you lack of proper hygiene or figure you have some type of physical problem and it ain't caused by some peppers.

Answer 7

I think your husband was extremely tired and cranky.  He was probably falling asleep standing up.  Also, he was trying to fix the situation and probably getting frustrated becuase nothing he was trying to do to help you was working.  It sounds like frustration on top of exhaustion.  My husband gets like that, too.  I really would just let that one go and not bring it up again.  He said he was sorry.  Seriously, it's not even worth thinking about or arguing about.

Answer 8

Your such a baby, Boo Hoo Hoo

Answer 9

There is some underlying anger there on his behalf.So he snaps over little things.Try to resolve it with him or his mood will only get worse.

Answer 10

i'd think my husband had a pretty bad day at work.  although, he would have been even more frustrated with me because i don't take orders.