If u found out your partner had herpes....??

Question

genital herpes - what would u do..?? what if u found out she had oral herpes.. would u do the same..??

Answer 1

My boyfriends mom and younger brother have oral herpes. The older brother and his dad do not. He claims he is immune to cold sores and canker sores. I was recently diagnosed with both types. I know I got mine from oral s*x a while back (at least a year ago?). I may have even given it to myself by using a toy and putting that back into my mouth =/

My bf hasn't had any outbreaks and I'm recovering from mine. The scabbing went away. It's very painful but I'm practicing safe s*x most of the time. He and I plan on getting married and having kids one day so we're not worried about it. We love eachother tremendously. I'm going to planned parenthood tomorrow to get treatment for it and then I'm gonna let him get tested for it in a couple of months because it doesn't show up for a while. Some adults don't even know they have the virus.

Answer 2

For a simple question, this is a very complicated question.

We know that most people (50% to 80% of adults) have oral herpes.  So lets just set that one aside for now and deal just with the genital herpes question.

Have we just started dating, and he's telling me before we have s*x for the first time?

Are we married, and how long have we been married?  

Do we have kids together?  

Has he had it for years and just never told?  

Or did he just now start having symptoms?  

Do he and I have oral s*x?  Because he could have caught it from me from that.

Have I ever been tested for genital herpes?  Because 20% of adults have genital herpes - most don't know they have it.

I'm not sure whether you want to discuss the situation where someone has been caught cheating - in which case herpes is a very bad STD for that example, since it can lie dormant for years - or if you want to discuss people's overall fear of genital herpes.

To answer your question most directly - if I found out my husband had genital herpes, I'd tell hiim I was sorry.  He would have obviously caught them from me because I've had genital herpes for years.   And I already know that he has oral herpes.

Answer 3

Sadly I didnt find out he had it until I already got it...He didnt realize that him having a cold sore would result in that but he gave me genital herpes...He thought that I would leave him once we found out where it came from and I was very upset at first but I loved him way to much to leave him...So now he has oral HSV1 and I have genital HSV1...We plan settling down together so I'm not bothered by it anymore...

Answer 4

I would get tested, if I already had them as well i would merry that person.

if not I would have to think about if the risk was worth it to me. i would probably leave them if I was still clean.  

Answer 5

Nothing would change much, really. I use condoms every time anyway, so that would stay the same. I would hope they'd be considerate enough to be on Valtrex to help reduce their risk of passing it. I'd stay with them. Even if I wound up catching it, herpes is not really the end of the world, and if I loved them, it's a no-brainer.

Oral herpes matters even less, since oral herpes (herpes 1) usually doesn't infect the genitals. 70% of people over 20 have oral herpes anyway.

Answer 6

Viral STDs can not be cured. So it is better to avoid your partner. If she has got herpes simplex infections through yourself, then accept her.

Answer 7

leave before u die

Answer 8

dump him/her

Answer 9

If I found out my partner has herpes I would freak out extremely but if you have a true love for your partner you would love him/her no matter what happens!.

Answer 10

they are both pretty much the same.. you can catch both the same way..skin contact.

If your partner has herpes, gotta take meds to supress the virus so it doesn't get up to the skin and therefore cannot pass it on.

Otherwise, don't kiss, don't have unprotected s*x :o)

Answer 11

I have genital herpes and my boyfriend still doesn't i have been with him for 2 years now. It seems like herpes happens to some of the best people in the world that are undeserving of it. Give her a chance but practice safe s*x. She might not even get outbreaks all that often. In 2005 i had my first outbreak and i haven't had another one yet. My boyfriend gave me the chance. It's up to you. Just please don't treat her badly about it or make her feel rejected. I know that rejection is a big fear for me. Take care.

Answer 12

Here's my story. I was the one with herpes, and my husband accepted it. I chose to wait to have s*x until the wedding ring was on my finger and he kissed the bride. I would have felt like I had to stay in the relationship if I'd given it to him and then wanted to break up with him later (before the wedding).

Here's the rest of my story, hope it helps!

If your significant other has his priorities in order, has done some soul searching, and is ready to get married, you should definitely hang around!

Also decide what you truly want in a long lasting relationship, and if he seems to be the one, STAY with him and wait to have s*x! People used to do it all the time and some still do, even without stds as a worry.

For me, it promoted a maturity that was necessary to deal with my future, as I truly believed I had none. I did some heavy soul searching and changed the 'type' of guy I was dating. (Hopefully your friend has also done this.) It made me ready to settle down, and find a comfortable relationship with trust that could withstand the test of time. Rather than needing to keep dating and have fun (not s*x fun - I had only been with one person when I got it from a violent situation. I had dated lots though!)

Here is my story, I hope it helps! (Your question is so common on Answers!)

I have been married for 17 years now to a man who had only one other sexual partner. We have two children and he has never shown any symptoms of hsv. I was entirely honest with him, and we waited until a month before our wedding to consumate (have s*x)the relationship. That was my choice.

Though I was open with him, I told him in the dark so I wouldn't have to see his expression. He thought about it (I don't even remember if is answer was immediate or not), and said that it didn't matter. I feared the answer to many other questions about whether he meant he didn't need s*x; how we would get pregnant if we used condoms; and even wondered if he knew something I didn't. I called myself 'damaged goods'. I also hoped he would research the topic before consumating the relationship. I am sure he did, as he is a VERY smart man.

You see, as emotionally painful as finding out I had hsv was, it was actually a blessing for me in the end. I was living life for the now, and unable to make a committment to marriage until this vd caused me to sit down and be honest with myself about my values and what I wanted out of life. I was twenty five or so and still single, moving from one long term relationship to another... all ending the same way. I entered counseling and reevaluated what was really important in a relationship. I haven't slept around, but was under the false impression that men who had had many encounters were s**y... I wish someone had told me about the statistics.

One thing that was truly wonderful, was that when he told me it didn't matter to him, I knew in my heart that this relationship would be FOREVER. No cheating, no divorce, no dating again, or remarriage.... that was one loving committment he made to me. He is truly the man of my dreams (and logic).

There are two types of the virus and you can get either one in either place. I already had Type 1 (oral), but when Type 2 entered my body, I developed flu-like symptoms along with the outbreak.

At first I took acyclovir faithfully to avoid transmission, but my sweetie told me to quit taking it after a couple of months. I had a lot of outbreaks, and when I had one, I just asked him to wear a condom. After a couple of months he said that if he was going to get it, just let it happen.

I also remember some point in the first year that my husband developed flu-like symptoms. I told him that it could be hsv, and he just told me to stop worrying. But even then, he didn't have an outbreak and never has had. Although my hubby has never had an outbreak, I'm sure he has to be a carrier of it.

Like I said, we have two beautiful children, (who by the way will be more resistant to the virus since theyy have acquired my antibodies to hsv while in the womb) and we have unprotected oral and regular s*x. The only time hsv can cause serious birth defects is when someone contracts the virus in the late stages of pregnancy. I had two c-sections, but for other reasons though. It actually was a relief to me- just out of caution.

Many of my questions were answered in time. He has an incredible s*x drive and our bedroom activities ARE important to both of us.

Email me if I can help in any other way!

Answer 13

i would want to know who he had been with and then he would be out on his ear