If we can relinquish our desire to control others and focus on how well we function every day would that......

Question

give us a better and more healthy life ? I think most of us have struggled with this in some form.

Answer 1

yes i think people need to kind of just mind their own business sometimes and we would ALL be much better off. getting in other peoples business only ever causes an argument no matter how much u really mean well. it would also leave us with more time to fix our own problems and flaws rather than trying to fix every one elses

Answer 2

I agree with you.  One of the things I admire about Buddhism is that Buddhists look inside of themselves to see if what they are about to say is intended to defend the ego. They also teach that we should not be so concerned about the behavior of others, we need to look at ourselves. Jesus spoke about taking the log out of our own eye, not the speck of dust in our neighbor's eye. But don't we all know better than we behave?

Answer 3

Great question! -and yes, it seems reasonable to believe that "most of us [with tendencies toward introspection and reflection] have struggled with this (relinquishing control over others).

I believe it's important to convey a couple of assumptions that guide my reply, i) human nature is generally believed to be social (John Locke's "Man [and woman[ is a Social animal), ii) humans tend to organize, and iii) human social patterns are survivor mechanisms.

Based on those three assumptions, there is an inherent conflict in the desire to be social, be organized within that socialization, and also be safe.

What isn't so clear -and remains in heated debate among sociologists, biologists, and others who study human behavior- is whether or not there is actually a "desire to control others" (as in a gene or involuntary condition that triggers control [beyond safety]).  And that is the puzzle your question seeks to solve.

As such, if we believe that "our desire to control others" is simply some response to being social and relentlessly interacting with others, then it seems reasonable that if we could reduce or eliminate that desire -and refocus that energy to within ourself- then we most likely would have a better and more healthy life (and there's probably some concrete evidence of that in societies that are non-westernized and not focused on the so-called "keeping up with the Jones'").

On the other hand, if that "desire to control others" is truly a function of our inherent concern for safety and survival then it seems like there are places and circumstances in this world where that desire/urge is nearly always primed -but then, that would not explain controlling behaviors in a place like the United States where -generally- safety and survival are not at the top of most peoples' concerns.

So how does that (US perspective) desire to control others get explained? Possibly via Evolutionary Biology ... and no, I'm not going down that path other then to say political attitudes (beyond the simplistic Democrats versus Republicans) are heritable ... that is, there can be a selection (power, greed, control of others) that arise through evolution and this perspective allows for a "desire to control others" without having to subscribe to a belief that there is a specific that triggers such an attitude.

Answer 4

That is an idyllic world sad to say and not based on reality.  The reason is everyone has to survive and this is true in nature and all living creatures as well as man.  At some point whether for the survival of the individual or family or other kind of group, control of another if only temporarily must take place.

Again this need not be permanent. For the greater benefit is to learn cooperation or give and take between all parties.  For it is here that individual or group skills are recognized to insure survival of the whole.  And this kind of cooperation will in the end bring a better and healthy life not only to the individual but also to the whole of society as well.

It is true we have al struggled with this but it was usually to find how one fitts in tnto the whole and contribute towarrd it that made it necessary.

Answer 5

I wouldn't like to control other people as I don't like them to control me who can give me a better life is me I set my own goals and improve myself  on the areas that I need to be improve just like smokers they will smoke more if people try to make them stop they have to be willing to quit for themselves.

Answer 6

Not only have most of us, but that issue has been the central concern of benevolent philosophers throughout history. The most difficult aspect of mind to give up is the desire to control other people. In Japanese Buddhism this tendency is called the king devil of the sixth heaven (Dairoku Tenomau) and is the trickiest and most difficult devil to overcome.

Answer 7

What if satisfying one's desire to control others is the thing that makes someone most happy?