If you're female, do u think its weird to share the same bedroom with your male boss on a business trip?

Question

most of the hotels were booked and a lot of them are expensive. my boss suggested we share the same bedroom as an option (w/ 2 beds), and i said i did not care (because i did not understand what he was talking about, and did not think he would ever come up w/ that option). well, he did, and booked us one room. do you think that is ok/appropriate? i dont think he is attracted to me--he is much older than i am and i think he only likes girls his own race, even though i am decent-looking.

Answer 1

Definitely inappropriate and unprofessional.  Because he's older is all the more reason not to discard the possiblitiy that he might be attracted to you.  And even if he only likes girls of his own race.....Sexual inuendos have nothing to do with what someone necessarily likes on the surface.

Answer 2

Well, look at this in terms of equality.

If it was your boss and a male employee, then them sharing a room with two beds wouldn't be considered out of the ordinary, especially if no other rooms were available, or if only extremely expensive rooms were available. So him suggesting a shared room with two beds with you under similar circumstances isn't really odd. And he did tell you in advance what the circumstances would be, therefore giving you the option to let your feelings be known on the matter and opt out of the trip.

If you are somehow still suspicious then don't go and show him the courtesy of letting him know.

Edit: You know, you can always ask him if the hotel can provide a room separator of some sort (a partition) to separate the two beds. But as I pointed out, it isn't like he isn't giving you a heads up and a chance to let your feelings on the matter be known. If he was up to something it would be more likely that he would just spring the matter of there being only one room with two beds available once you had actually gotten to the hotel, thus making you feel forced into sharing it with him. He is doing you the courtesy and gentlemanly thing by telling you about it beforehand.

And I find it strange how women will constantly talk about equality yet tend to find ways to separate themselves from being treated equally on some matters, and how they tend to think all a male does is think about s*x, yet their first thoughts concerning being around a man tends to go towards s*x.

There are unisex bathrooms and women are always clamouring for those. Isn't sharing a bathroom more intimate than sharing a room, where both of you are dressed and the quarters are more open?

Edit: Yes, I have an email address but stopped giving it out because of hate mail.

You are cautiously not mentioning his race, but if it is Asian and he is much older than you as you write, then I would put it down to being completely innocent on his behalf, as sharing accommodations by business associates is common practice by Asians.

And you could always suggest having a room booked for you at a cheaper hotel in the area if any are available. It is likely he may not have suggested this because 1) there were only two bed hotel rooms left at the hotel he wished to stay at, so he couldn't book a single bed room there for him and a single bed room for you elsewhere to make it more cost efficient, and 2) you being at another hotel would make getting business done during the trip much more difficult because you would not be readily available.

Edit: And I'd really like to know your thinking on this, since he has more to lose than you do if he intended to try anything inappropriate. You risk unwarranted advances, but since the accommodations would be a matter of company record, then he is risking the possibility of you saying he did something wrong even if he doesn't. So he is placing himself more at risk than you are. For this reason alone he'd have to have a lot of trust and faith in you as a person.

Answer 3

Well it depends on if you a had a best friend relationship before he became your boss. If not i think that is in-appropriate and unprofessional. If it's a business trip then it should be two separate rooms. You should think twice before you acted because it will come back to haunt you later.

Answer 4

I'm not a girl but i'm pretty sure that is kind of weird. And i wouldn't like it if it was my girlfriend

Answer 5

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Sounds like you have a horny boss.

Answer 7

I would never do that because number 1 it looks shady and number 2 you know your coworkers are going to think you are banging him and will think that you dont work for anything and just get priviledges for sleeping with the boss.  

Your boss seems odd for suggesting it also, I know bosses that share rooms with the same s*x that they get along with but not so much heard of older male boss with younger female coworker.

Answer 8

Totally unacceptable! If he cannot provide you with your own room then he should go alone or sleep in the car.

Answer 9

not ok-- not appropriate

Answer 10

I wouldn't want to do that w/ my boss! Besides, one thing that came to my mind - if he is concerned about expensive rooms, I don't think his business will be doing too good!

Also he doesn't seem to care about his employees that much and is doing what is convenient for him!

Very shady and I think it's very odd!

Answer 11

Uh... yes. Totally inappropriate, and if anyone else finds out about it they are going to think you guys did something, even if you didn't.

Answer 12

I wouldn't say its appropriate. Can't he get fired for that?

But I mean,  if you're comfortable with it then its fine. A lot of women woudln't be. If you have a bf or husband or anything then obviously consult them first. + if he tries anything then ofcourse tell someone.

But as i said, if you're happy with it then it should be ok.

Answer 13

I'm not a girl, but I know that's not right.  I wouldn't go if I were you.

Answer 14

I think Kenya answer hit it on the nail.  You were told in advance and had the option of saying no.  I for one would not of accepted that arrangement.

Answer 15

Ask him to invite his wife as well and you can all play strip poker .

Answer 16

It's more than weird, it's dangerous!  Older man, younger woman, same room?  You must surely know this is wrong and could be totally misinterpreted!  You agreed to share a room with him, how would that look if he tried something on and you reported him?  You should not do this, get out of it fast.

Answer 17

I do think that it is inappropriate. If this is the only solution ok. I think that you are being put into an awkward situation.

Answer 18

Wierd!  Bad for the work relationship!

Answer 19

No,No,No, If he can't afford 2 rooms, he can't afford to take you with him. Period.

Answer 20

I wouldn't go along with this.  It is completely out of line.

Answer 21

Yes very weird, sounds like he wants more?

Answer 22

It is appropriate as long as you keep your distance.  Don't spend a lot of time in the room.

Answer 23

i would not feel comfortable in that situation and the fact that you said you didn't care might make him think you are up for s*x too, if that's what he was thinking.

maybe you should have a conversation about it with him. he's an adult, so he'll understand each way (whether he was expecting s*x or not).

Answer 24

if you were male he wouldnt have shared the room wake up girlfriend since you asked u know it was wrong

Answer 25

uh, ya! that's way weird! & its just not right. totaly inappropriate!

Answer 26

kinda strange. i know i wouldnt feel comfortable.