If you are a woman giving birth, is it normal to have your husband's mother in the delivery room?

Question

How private are births in Poland? How private were they 30 years ago?

If you are giving birth, is it all that common to have your mother-in-law in the delivery room with you?

Answer 1

if the mother is close to her son and you, then yeah it's perfectly normal. why should the father's mom be less entitled to seeing her grandchild than the mother's mom?

Answer 2

Not really. Even a husband was a rarity twenty years ago.

Answer 3

It may not be normal but i have 2 grandchildren and 1 on the way .i was there for the birth of my first granddaughter and i will be there for the birth of my grand son. I thank God everyday that my son's wife allowed me to go into the room. I stood at the top of the bed so she wouldn't be embarrassed but I seen her for the first time , And I will always love my daughter law for letting me be there.

Even thoe she not your mom she is your husband Mother and  that is her grand baby to . So think if you had a son and his wife was haven a baby . Wouldn't you want to be there

guardianangel

Answer 4

No idea on Poland, but it would think it would be up to you to decide who you want in the delivery room.  Personally, I wouldn't want anyone but my SO there....and the doctor of course!

Answer 5

depends on the relationship you have with her, my mother in law hates me, so i would NEVER have her in the delivery room

Answer 6

this is from my point of view: I think it's perfectly normal to have her in the delivery room, besides, she is very happy to be a grandma!

Answer 7

I don't know, i don't really think so, the husband and the doctors are supposed to be the only ones with the woman in labor. The mother-in-law, and everyone else is supposed to wait to see. I don't know about in Polland, i think it wasn't really that private 30 years ago.

Answer 8

As long as every one is comfortable with it.

Answer 9

they're your family- inlaws and if you're close with them then it's not big deal

Answer 10

absoulutly not

only your husband your husband should be with you thats the right way

i would tell her noooooo

Answer 11

If you and your husband agree on it, you can do anything. It's your family. Who wants them missing it? Unless she's a freak...

Answer 12

it shouldn't matter. as long as you're with family

Answer 13

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Answer 14

YOU are the one who gets to choose who gets to be in the delivery room when you give birth ... if you like your mother-in-law and want her to see her grandchild be born, that's fine, but if she is just butting in and 'expects' to be in the room, you may want to 'severely limit' who is in the delivery room with you.  TELL HER that you have thought it over and you feel that you would be more 'relaxed' if she and others (even the father, if you don't want him in the delivery room) wait to see the baby AFTER the delivery ... or welcome her and be assured she will help YOU to relax (if you think this is possible).  It is ALL up to you, not anyone else ... but the doctor must 'agree' and if you and your doctor get along, you can 'clue him in' before the birth so he'll be the one to say 'no' if you don't want any person(s) in the delivery room with you.

Answer 15

since i no longer have a mother, when i have a child i want my husbands mother in there ( if she is still living )

just for the motherly support

Answer 16

I'm not giving birth, but I know that is not commen........if you do not want her in the delivery room with you tell your husband it's a private and personal thing and you would not respect it if she was in there! Good Luck!

Answer 17

no, is she insisting?  if this is your first?  She can wait out in the waiting area like everyone else.  Will your husband be in there too?  This is something special between you and hubby.

Answer 18

Its not abnormal to have mother or mother in law in the room.  But there is a pecking order if things get to hectic.  Only the father of the child will be allowed to stay while everyone else would have to leave the delivery room.

So yes...its pretty normal I think.  Not very common but normal to do.

30 years ago MEN didn't even go into delivery rooms.  They were out drinking at the bar waiting on a phone call.  Or sitting outside the delivery room while mother and daughter were delivering the baby.

Answer 19

if your mother n law and u are very close, then it shuld be fine, she is family.

Answer 20

who cares about normal, as long as the woman giving birth is comfortable with it

Answer 21

today giving birth has become a family affair, but if you are uncomfortable with someone being there you need to say so - i would not hesitate to have my mother in law there - she would be more than welcome

Answer 22

depends on how close you are to her.

Answer 23

It really depends on the person  and how comfortable they are with this.  I personally would be very uncomfortable with having in-laws or even my own extended family in the room with me while giving birth.  Sorry but when I am in pain and trying to push a baby out I do not need an audience and especially in-laws.  

It is very important that you are as comfortable as possible when in labor and that there is the least amount of stress for you as possible.  This is a safety issue for both you and your baby.  

When I had my daughter the phone in our room kept ringing (in-laws and my sister) and it was really stressing me out as obviously I was in pain being in labor.  They meant well but I really needed to be left alone at that moment.  Anyways the last time the phone rang my heart rate dropped dangerously low and my daughters skyrocketed  to a dangerous level.  I almost had to have an emergency C-Section and my doctor told us later that I could have went into a coma.  This was all stress induced.

I guess my point in telling you all of this is that this is one of those situations where you have to think about yourself and the safety of your baby first.  I am confident that your husband wants this as well.  So to answer your question... if you want your mother-in-law in the room then wonderful but if you don't now is not the time to be silent or to put other peoples feelings before the safety of you and your baby.  Overall, it really comes down to preference and your comfort level with having other people in the room.

Answer 24

I dont live in poland, but I think it would be great to have her in the room, but only if you are comfortable with it.  during this time it is all about you and your baby.

Answer 25

YEA!! IT'S TOTALLY NORMAL!! It's great to have the wife's parents and the husbands parents...  So that the baby will get to see his parents(OF COURSE) and his grand parents right when he uhh... Comes out!!!

Ihoped this helped..Ciao

Answer 26

Honey...what is normal is what you want to do.  If you want it to be a personal experience for just you and hubby then say so !  It is you hanging out there in pain and exposed..not them.  So it is your call and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

I don't know about Poland now or then...but you don't have to do anything just because someone else did it.  YOU are giving birth honey...you do what makes you less stressed in an already stressful situation.!   If they have a baby they can do what they want to do...but no one should be forced to have someone in the delivery room if you want it private.

SAY so..and stick by your guns.  Just do it in a nice way and say....I want this to be for just me and my husband...I am not comfortable with anything more.  Then they have to accept that and make sure the doctor and everyone knows it too.

As for it being a family affair....you, your husband and baby are the family!  Others are extended family !  Do what YOU want....ok?

Answer 27

things are done differently these days. i gave birth to my daughter with only staff. when my daughter had her first. i was holding one leg and her mother in law was holding the other in the birthing room. dad was up by her head.