If you cannot create or destroy energy....?

Question

then where does the fire go when you put it out?

This is a question that is really bothering my daughter.

Answer 1

The fire is just excited gas, the heat energy still remains dispersed in the air and whatever you used to put out the fire.

Answer 2

Steam...waste heat.

Energy transforms from one type to another.

Energy and matter are conservative.  The TOTAL does not change, but the different types of them will interchange.