If you cannot handle an adopted child, how could you de adopt?

Question

If you had adopted a child and for whatever reason, after a few years you wanted to have nothing to do with that child, how could you go about undoing the adoption

Answer 1

Wow are people judgmental in this forum.

First of all what is the reason? Child retarted? Does it have Psyc. problems? Did it do somthing to another child?  Did you get a divorce and child is "in the way".

Send the child to aunt, uncle, grandma, bestfriend or what ever for 3 or 4 days.  Clear your head before you act.

You could give the child up for adoption again.  I would sugest privatley.  Make sure this is what you want not just stress from parenting.

We are a family looking to adopt.  I would love to  talk to you.

[e-mail]

Answer 2

why would you want to do that! if you dont want the permanecy of adoption, why dont you just foster?

Answer 3

it is harder than that to undo an adoption but just remember that the social worker that was involved would be all over this.

Answer 4

I don't think I would ever want to do that! Children need so much love and understanding! They need us to support them emotionally...They need us to listen to their problems if you are honest with your child they are more likely to be honest with you! Also if you are able to have the adoption undone you would cause so much trauma to your child they would feel as if they were being thrown away...what a terrible feeling!

Answer 5

If this is a joke, it isn't funny.

If you are serious, please consider your choice carefully.  You can place the child up for adoption, which will probably emotionally scar him/her for life.

Answer 6

that is the most heartless thing I have ever heard. If you don't love the child with your whole heart as your own you should have never finalized the adoption, that is why there is such a long time between custody and making it final..

Most people don't adopt "for whatever reason" they adopt because they want to be parents.

If they are in trouble or if your situation changed then you are in the same boat as if you would have gave birth to that child. If this was your bio child would you be asking this?

Answer 7

How old is the child

me and my husband are looking into adoption

you can email [e-mail] with info and what info you need if interested

*edit*

I think you requested to add me I got disconnected and lost your yahoo name you can readd me again

Answer 8

Why on earth would you want to do such a cold and heartless thing like that???!!!  A child is a living being not merchandise that can be exchanged or refunded!!!

Answer 9

your so heartless, but your SOL about un adopting as you selfishly put it. but I would rather see the child go into foster care then to have the child abused because you don't want the responsibility anymore. It is people like you who make it so hard  for people like me to adopt

Answer 10

"de adopt"....not in the dictionary.....look under "abandon"

Answer 11

I feel for you. Most of the answers I have read are from people who have not been in that situation. Adoption is different from giving birth. You do not have the bond formed at the earliest moments of the child's life. You can reverse an adoption. Seek the advice of an adoption specialist from Human Services in your state. Sometimes the adoptive child can kill a family and destroy the adults and other children around them. Adoption is not always the perfect solution. Be aware though that they can charge you with child abandonment. I am personally in a similar situation. We have the option of giving our adopted son back. His psychiatrist said he would go to a judge for us and ask not to be charged due to our son's outrageously disturbing behaviors. Several therapist have advised the same. We are still in the decision stage. We are trying to help the best we can. We do not know the answer. No one does.

Answer 12

This is a shameful question...but...If you go through with that, you are doing a world of emotional and psychological damage to your child. Being adopted comes with a multitude of emotional issues that are hard enough to deal with. Being removed AGAIN from someone you create an attachment with will make it very difficult for this child to grow up and become a successful adult.

Answer 13

I can't believe you asked a stupid question like that...There are people out there that want to adopt a child but can't and then there is you who adopts a child then wants to give it up, you are sick you shouldn't have even adopted a child if you didn't want to be a parent!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 14

You could disrupt the adoption.  Contact the agency you went through to find out information on that.  You could also go to: http://www.adopting.org/adoptions/when-a... to find more information on it.

You should seriously consider whether this is truly best for the child before you proceed (assuming you're considering disrupting & are not asking for someone else).  When you adopt, you make a lifetime commitment to the child.  Disrupting the adoption can cause even more trauma to the child when he/she has already been traumatized so very much!

Answer 15

that one of the reason that make people against adoption itself. Everyone is I want to adopt, I want to adopt, then once everything is completed guess what? I don't want to adopt anymore cause I don't like the kid. Please these are children already rejected, and you happen to be the only person he knows, can you imagine how much you will hurt this child? Please stop adopting if you can't take care or stand of kids. If the child was yours, what would you do? I am so sorry for every child de-adopt.

Answer 16

please email me we are looking to adopt and would be glad to adopt also im sorry that you feel this way but  i am trying to adopt a child and would love to give all the love i have to a child who needs it.you may email me if you are serious about this i think it would be the same as signing over rights to new adoptive parents or it could be and issue where human services comes into play which is where we are trying to adopt throught but please if you are serious i would talk to you so email me i would be blessed to have a child and am very patient

Answer 17

i'm not sure how you go about doing that. i'm currently looking in to adoption through a foster care system. I can't imagine why you would want to give this child up when there's so many people LIKE ME who are wanting children more than anything in the world and can't biologically have them.

What happened to make you change your mind about this child? how old is he/her???

Answer 18

Adopting a child is like having a child of your own. Now think about what you would do if you had given birth to that person. You just can't "give back" a person like a piece of merchandise. Take responsibility and be an adult and a parent.

Answer 19

I smell another troll......do not spend time giving these negative people the emotional answers they are looking for.

Answer 20

What a stupid question. Get out of here!

Answer 21

you can't.  the child is yours for better or for worse.  the state and federal looks at the adoption as if it were your own flesh and blood.  so my advice...stop thinking of the child as "adopted" and think of it as yours!

Answer 22

Wow. I don't know the answer to your question, but all these comments about how "heartless" you are....these people don't know anything.

My aunt tried adopting a second daughter a few years ago. The girl was about 9 years old, and she was PSYCHO. She would throw fits and tantrums and hit everybody. Normal kid stuff, I suppose, but then after a few months she started threatening to kill my aunt and my cousin, and came in my cousin's room one night with a knife. And my aunt is handicapped and permanently in a wheelchair, so she can't do much when a little girl is running around the house screaming her head off and chasing her sister with a knife all while threatening to kill herself and everybody else.

I'm not sure if the adoption was ever finalized, but there was no way my aunt was keeping that girl.

Answer 23

off yourself!

Answer 24

Once an adoption is finalized, it as if you gave birth to that child.  Adoption is permanent.  It would be no different than if you had given birth to the child and realized that you could no longer care for it.

Answer 25

There is no difference between your ability to "undo" an adoption and your ability to "undo" the birth of your child. Legally it is the same. And emotionally it is the same as well. Everyone has doubts about having children and I think many people have even more doubts about adopting children. However, you can not undo an adoption. It is forever and for keeps and the real thing. You need to fully understand that before you seriously consider adoption. If you would never consider "giving away" your biological child then, why would you consider adopting a child if you already think you may want to "give away" the child "for whatever reason?" Becoming a parent (however you become a parent) is not something you can change your mind about for whatever reason a few years down the road -- and wish you could have your old life back. Think long and hard before you have a child.

Answer 26

I'm sure you have had a hard decision to even come up with this but it is more common than people think.  It's called a disruption and there are places to go, talk and get information.  There are also people to take the child for awhile so that you can clear your mind and heart and see if it is indeed the best for everyone involved.  Email me privately and I can give you some names and phone numbers of those who can help you so you dont get charged/accused of abandonment or anything else.  Best of luck.  [e-mail]