If you cheated on your partner ages ago but still feel quilty wud u tell them?

Question

Iv been with my partner for 2 years about a year ago he was treating me a bit bad and said some really horrible things which really hurt me, so i went to meet an old male friend and i spent the day with him, and we got drunk and we kissed loads and cuddled on the bed for ages i wouldnt have s*x with him though. and i met up with him quite a few times and had some good nights and we would always kiss and cuddle then i would be with my bf the next day,but i stopped seeing him cuz i felt really bad towards my partner, and he never found out. but i still feel quilty cuz its not like me at all and if he did it to me i wud be heart broken! i haveny seen him for ages and me and my bf are fine but i keep getting upset when hes nice to me cuz what i did!

what should i do tell him, or just leave it? help pls xxxx

Answer 1

Go to a priest if you feel like you need to absolve yourself.  What about the other guy's feelings?  Yes, believe it or not, guys DO have feelings!  Stop playing with people!

Don't say anything to your boyfriend and if he treats you badly again, break up with him!  c**p, you aren't even married!

Answer 2

tell him believe me sooner or later it will come out, our "little" secret came out after 15 years, imagine that. be honest

Answer 3

TELL HIM! relationships are based on honesty....he deserves to know!if you're going to continue to lie its going to eat you alive!

Answer 4

Why would you deliberately hurt your love just to assuage your own guilt? That is a very selfish thing to do. You know it would break his heart and humiliate him. By the way, it does not matter that your relationship with your boyfriend was rocky. That is not an excuse to go playing around with someone else. Being monogamous means being with only one person. Not being with only one person when it is easy and fun. I'm happy to see you aren't married. This sort of self centered, thoughtless impulse will wreck a marriage. In fact both self-centered, thoughtless impulses - playing around with another person, and then sharing your guilt with your partner.

But, it is a good lesson for you. Guilt stays with you for a very long time and can be quite painful. This is your pain to bear.  

Answer 5

ask yourself...would you want him to tell you.....guilty conscience is not good....if all u did was cuddle and kiss..tell him the truth ....it will set u free....the risk u take is u may loose him...he may forgive u and thank u for telling him..but if u keep this buried it will eat away at u eventually driving him away anyway in the end........just my opinion.....

if u really don't want to tell him...tell somebody so u can get it off ur chest and buried it.......its up to you really......good luck  

Answer 6

If you are sure that your partner will not find out about this, then let it go. There is no need to get into a state about an innocent friendship. If your partner continues to disrespect you, maybe it's time to move on. If you have been a good solid partnership since his/her time of saying the horrible stuff, maybe you should give them a chance and see how things progress. Sometimes it takes a wee glitch to make you realise just what is important to you. Good luck.

Answer 7

If I cheated on my partner I would feel guilty, it would not only show complete disrespect to my partner but also to myself, therefor I would not do it.

Answer 8

And what exactly would that accomplish but make him mad at you and possibly leave you???  That's not going to get rid of your guilty, and it'll probably ruin your relationship!!!

Answer 9

Just forget about it, because a) i guarantee you he's probably still guilty about the things he said to you and b) it could hurt him a load if he finds out this.

best of luck

xx

lisa <3

Answer 10

Forget about it. Your boyfriend treated you badly and hurt you badly. Your old friend comforted you. end of. If you want to feel guilty about something , how about the male friend you made use of?

Answer 11

It was a long time ago and you didn't have s*x with this guy.  If your partner knew about what happened, your relationship will be exposed to a really hard strain, since he will not believe that you did not have s*x with him, and the trust will be gone.

You have thought about it, and you know you will not do it again, so I would say just leave it alone, don't tell him, because your relationship will be at risk.

I wish you all the luck!

Answer 12

If you don't plan on seeing the "old male friend" anymore, just leave it alone!

Answer 13

leave sleeping dogs lie (appropriate in your case!!)

Answer 14

i think the basis of a good relationship relies on the truth. if it was a long time ago and u really regret it then tell him . im sure if he loves u enough and u prove to him how srry u are then he will forgive you :)

good luck

Answer 15

just leave it.

You're not even married

Answer 16

Just let it be.. ask god to give you peace over it so you can quit feeling guilty about it.

Answer 17

Rachel, you have to sit down and work out what you think will happen if you tell him and what you think will happen if you don't ever tell him and then do what you think you are comfortable with.  It is obviously playing on your mind enough for you to be talking about it and asking questions about it, so you need to resolve the problem.  Think about what would be the worst scenario and whether or not you want to accept the outcome.  Good luck with this, but don't beat yourself up too much, life is too short for that.

Answer 18

It will ruin your relationship. I wouldn't say anything. Keep it to yourself and whatever guilt you feel, you deserve it. Don't upset him with this information if you know for a fact you'll never cheat on him again.

Answer 19

Is cleaning your guilty conscience at  the expense of your bf's feelings really any kinder to him than kissing another guy behind his back?  Leave it and use your  guilt to remind yourself why you don't want to go kissing other men the next time your get upset with your bf...

Answer 20

just leave it - put it down as a mistake - a moment of madness.  Forgive yourself and move on,

Answer 21

the only reason you want to tell him this is to reliveve your own guilt and get the weight off your own mind.  all its going to9 do is hurt your partner and possibly ruin your relationship.  i believe its actually a very selfish action at this point to make yourself feel better by telling all.

Answer 22

answering your question: What you did is past,is over,forget all about.Nothing you can do.Be happy,ask God to forgive you,and then you will feel peace in your heart,mind and spirit.Then move on in your thoughts and be happy with your partner.You can not stuck in the past.God will forgive you,yes.Telling him about your past, is not going to take away your guilty.Pray at night alone and talk with God.Good question,good luck.