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If you cheated on your partner would you tell them or not?

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My friend cheated on her husband only once he never found out about and she never told him. If she only did it once after he hit her does it make it right or are they both in the wrong? Who wronged who worse?

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  1. They are both wrong and need marital counseling.

    However, since he shows to be violent, I do not think it would be in her best interest to peep a word to him. She does need to go get a check up for the possibilities of STDs before resuming any physical relations with her husband.

    She needs to leave the guy.


  2. That's an abusive relationship. I would never tolerate cheating personally, and I'd want to know about it, but him hitting her is not a good sign. I'd retaliate in that manner myself.  

  3. He's absolutely wrong in hitting her, unless she hit him 1st. Sorry, but if you women enough to hit a man expect to be hit back.

    What do men expect that they can hit a women and her not go off the deep end in one-way or another? Idiot! More power to her, she should of left his silly but and never came back.

    Now if he was a good guy and treated her good then she is in the wrong, but because he laid his hands on her, I bet that is why she cheated.  Maybe in her mind that was the safe way out of their relationship.


  4. two wrongs don't make a right. definitly would tell him. My conscience couldn't take the guilt. She sunk down to his level and now she's no better a person than he is...possibly even worse because it seems she feels no guilt. I don't care that he hit her, and put her down ever time she tried to tell him under NO circumstances is it ok to cheat. If he's doing that to her she needs to divorce him, end of story.  

  5. Well lets examine the situation he hits her for whatever reason then she cheats on him and does not tell him. First of all she needs recognize that if a woman is with a man who will hit her then she needs to get rid of him and not stick around and play miss innocent victim. She cheated because maybe she feels she is not getting what she needs from her relationship. So a REAL-woman who had a spine would not even stick around a man who is violent. Violence escalates to more severe circumstances even rape. Girl you need to have her reevaluate her life. It just takes one hit then he feels that he can later get away with another one or even more. She doesn't even have to prove anything to him.  

  6. first of all, your friend is a fool for even still being with this guy IF he hit her.

    she is wrong for cheating on him, he is a jerk for hitting her, ..so they need to split up, period.

    if they stay together?? then they deserve each other and whatever comes.

    and "chia" you are so right about the hitting, i'm so sick of hearing "oh you never hit a woman", ..you're so right and its nice to hear someone say that

  7. He hits, she cheats - why are they still together?

  8. They are both in the wrong, and they need to go to marriage councelling. It doesnt matter who hurt who worse when you have both hurt the people you love.

  9. As one that did cheat on my spouse, and yes I told him.

    I would think that the honesty that counted for something.

  10. as long as she dosent do it again she shouldnt tell

  11. Well two wrongs don't make a right. It seems like maybe she just cheated on him out of spite of him hitting her. I don't think that it is ever ok to cheat on someone under any circumstances.  

  12. Both are in the wrong

    He should NEVER have hit her

    but if she gets revenge by cheating, should they really even be married? I'm not saying divorse is the best way to go, but both should try to be their best in the relationship.

    Talk things out

  13. no i wudnt tell him. and he wronged her worse bcuz he hit a girl.  

  14. THey both wronged each other. He was abusive and she was unfaithful. Two wrongs do not make a right. I mean him hitting her is a disgrace but that does not make her cheating right. I say she needs to leave him anyways since he can be physically abusive to her.  

  15. They're both wrong.

    Of course hitting her was wrong,WAY WRONG.

    But you dont like go off && cheat on him.

    Tell her to tell him.

    Even if it puts a dent in their relationship,she`ll feel better knowing she had the guts to step up and confess.

  16. Why tell anyone that you have cheated on anyone? I would not think that one should cheat,but i also do not think that one should lie either, If it comes up then confront it,but if it don't then don't spill the beans if you don't have to.The less that is said is sometimes better even if the guilty conscience keeps knocking on your door. Do what makes you feel good and don't waste your time trying to think about the regrets of your decision life is to short to waste time on could ofs and should ofs and maybes.

  17. To answer your initial question, I would advise anyone who cheated on their partner only once & never again to just keep it to themselves, no matter how heavy the burden of guilt.

    To answer the last part of your question, I would advise that two wrongs do not make a right.

  18. They are both wrong. So it's a equal in my eyes.  He should have not her. But, I would not tell if she can hide it and not ever do it again.

  19. they were both wrong, 2 wrongs don't make a right. If she was upset about him hitting her she should have left him and the same goes for him because he has no excuse to hit her.  

  20. No, if things are smooth right now, no need in opening a can of dried up worms. It is best to be honest and open in a married relationship; however, your friend seems to have an immature dysfunctional relationship with her hubby. First, it is not a race for one person to wrong another worse. This is quite stupid thinking, my dear, and immature. If you make a mistake, the mature thing to do is to correct it as best you can. You have to, of course, consider the outcome and affect a confession has on the spouse. Some can handle it, others cannot. VIOLENCE is a good reason to keep your mistakes to yourself. He should have never hit her and she should have never cheated. This does not make them EVEN in making mistakes. It makes them both stupid/immature people. I feel sorry for the kids, actually, to be raised by people who make each other feel bad and who blame themselves for the others inability to control their hands when it comes to hitting another. So sad.

  21. The relationship sounds poisonous. Both are wrong.  Trust and honesty is important in a healthy marriage and violence is never acceptable.  Ge counseling or get out.

  22. They are both wrong , one a man never hits a woman , not even in extreme cases and two if she got hit there are other ways to get even and the way she did it he does not even know or suspect , so what did either accomplish ? Nothing good . As to which is worse , I could not even begin to guess which is worse as they are both equally bad as far as I am concerned .

  23. cheating is wrong period...theres no excuse for it..

    as far as your friends husband hitting her...she shouldve left instead of staying and cheating...

    i wouldve pressed charges instead of cheating...

    they were both wrong...its no competition...

    tell your friend if shes smart to just leave...

  24. Psychiatrists say telling the spouse is only to help relieve your own guilt. That is true you  or your friend made a mistake and they have to forgive them self and let it go (if its never going to happen again) telling the other person is selfish and really only involves relieving constant guilt

    if its not guilt then it is revenge and how is that going to make things better, if hes abusive he will try to one up her. They need help but guilt and revenge are not good ...however sounds like the s****.deserves it but she should start by going to counseling by HERSELF to regain her self esteem..SHE IS LIVING WITH AN ABUSER  both mentally and physically she  most likely feels like **** about her self.

  25. No, cheating should not be an option in marriage anyway, but if he is hitting her this is abuse and she should really get that sorted out, no matter what she has done he has no right to treat her that way. A man that hits a women, in my opinion, is a coward, and does not deserve to be married. If they have children then this is even worse, no matter what the other people at the church say the children should not be bought up around someone who hits their mom.
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