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If you give your baby up for adoption, can you get her back?

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I'm 14, and I'm pregnant. I want to know, if I give my baby up for adoption, but when I turn 18 or like 20, can i get her back?

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  1. No, i doubt you'll be able to get her back. Adoption does not work that way. I think you have up to a year if you change your mind.

    Make sure if giving the baby up is what you really want cause if you do and regret it and it is already past the date where you can change your mind, then there is absolutely nothing you can do.

    But you can always consider open adoption.


  2. awwwz.....sorry u cant...my uncles wife works in that stuff and she told me....i mean i wondered that too...(never got prego or nothing) i just asked...lol....man if i knew u and i knew i could take care of a baby i would keep it and give it back after..lol...my bff prgnant and we both got summer job that pays 345$ very two weeks and were saving the money for the baby....

    but enough about me

    sorry but no adoption is offical....what about the daddy???

  3. No adoption is permanent. I would suggest getting counseled with a local adoption agency of you options. Even it what you suggested was possible, think of how hard it would be for that child to be "taken" from the only parents she's known.

    I know this is hard on you too. Please talk to an agency before you make any decisions.

  4. Dear Me,

    I know you are problably scared to death and dealing with a milllion unknowns, questions and feelings on top of what your body is experiencing. Please know you are not alone. There are tons of groups and programs for girls in your situation.

    I hope that you have already spoken to a trusted adult (parents, guidance counselor, SOMEONE...) You need help to get you through this and help support you with whatever you choose to do. SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST. If at all possible, you should be involving the child's father as well.

    You need to carefully look at all your options.  You have MANY : Termination, co/shared parenting, single parenting, temporary kindred guardianship, permanent guardianship, temporary foster care and adoption (and variations of all these). ALL of these choices have good points and bad points - DO YOUR RESEARCH!

    YOU (& the father) are the one(s) who must make these choices to the best of your ability. You (& the father) as well as your family and most of all your CHILD will have to live with your choices, NO ONE ELSE. So make sure they are ones you feel are best - not just for now; but for 5, 10, 15, 30, 50 years down the road.

    To answer your question:

    As many other people have said, adoption is final. You cannot get your child back if you place her for adoption and allow it to be finalized.

    Adoption is very complex and you should do a GREAT deal of research into what it entails before making this decision. Make sure you educate yourself about the effects of adoption on children and first parents, the laws that will pertain to your circumstances and choices and the many other things you need to know to make an informed and ethical adoptive situation in order to protect both yourself and your child. (If you want to know about adoption, this is a great place to hang out and see what really goes on in the adoption community from people who are living it.)

    I agree with other posters that you sound as though you'd rather keep your child. Look into your other options but I thought these links would be helpful for the one you seem to really be leaning toward:

    Basic Tips for Teen Parents:

    http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/itsuptoyou/p...

    Support for Pregnant & Parenting Teens:

    http://www.healthyteennetwork.org/index....

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

    http://www.teenmotherchoices.org/default...  (religious)

    http://health.dir.groups.yahoo.com/dir/H...

    For Your Parent(s) or Guardian(s):

    http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/ta...

    http://www.cpeip.fsu.edu/resourceFiles/r...

    I would love to be more specific, but without knowing where you are or what your other circumstances might be, this is the best I can do. E-mail me if you would like me to help you find more information about ANY of your choices.

    Good luck to you - I hope that you find the choice that is best for you!

  5. No - adoption is forever.

    Please make sure you read this -

    http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pd...

    I do hope that  you can find someone to help you keep this baby.

    That's really what is best for both of you.

    I wish you and your baby all the best the world can give.

  6. honey once u see ur baby n hold him.her in ur arms ur not gonna have the heart to give em up trus u wont! n no i doubt u cud!

  7. I don't think so.  I'm pretty sure though if you do give your baby up for adoption and within that year if you change your mind you can get the baby back anytime after that i think you have to go court possibly

  8. no because the other people who adopted her will own her....but you can make arrangements for someone to take care of her until then

  9. no of course not,have you got parents that would support you to raise your baby adoption means a good home forever for your baby

  10. No.  You are putting your baby with this person for life.  If u hav an open adoption you can see them but they will never be yours.

  11. Hello my name is Sandra and i thing it is a bad choise to give your baby in adoption because he or she will need you all the time and look i was in america with my husband 5months old baby and i get deport to mexico now i can see my baby and i relly miss her is so much ard to be with out your own child please dont dou this because it is not ritgh.

  12. no u shoulda kept ur legs closed if u didnt want a kid... Now either suck it up or give the kid up u cant have it both ways. Everyone wants everything in life... dont go fuc kin up some poor kids life

  13. No ...I mean you could have an open adoption. whic allows you to have contact with the child.

    But that is not even right for the parents who adopt her for you to take her back. That would break their hearts.

    Think about an open adoption, that way you can keep in contact, get pics and know she is being well tooken care of.

  14. im not sure...because I am not too familiar with the whole adoption process....but depending on the kind of adoption you choose to do... I think you can. I know I have heard stories about people being scared that the bio family would come to take their baby away...hope this helps...just google it...Good luck and congrats.

    If thats not a possibility maybe you could set it up so that your mom has her (adopts her) and then maybe you could take her back...or any other family...

  15. You must be so scared right now.

    Adoption is permanent, so no you cannot get her back. You can pursue an open adoption, which means that you could have visits, phone calls, letters, and be a part of your child's life. HOWEVER, you also need to understand that this open arrangement is totally within the adoptive parents discretion and is not legally binding, which means they can close it at any time... and sadly they sometimes do.

    That being said, if you really do want to keep your baby, is there anyone eho could possibly help you out until you graduate from high school? If you can't stay with your parents, how about your grandparents or any other family member? Or, what about the baby's father's family.

    There are options available to you for public assistance, which organizations like Planned Parenthood can help you with.

    I wish you the very best of luck.

  16. no you cannot. You sign over all parental rights when you give a child up for adoption, therefore she is no longer connected to you in any way.

  17. No.  And take a moment to think about that.  You'd be taking a 4-6 year old away from the home and family she's known all of her life.  There is no way that this would be in the best interests of the child.  Adoption is permanent.  The adoptive parents are not babysitters.

    If you are already thinking about wanting your child back, then it sounds like adoption isn't for you.  Being a parent so young is very, VERY difficult, but not impossible.  Start looking at parenting resources and gathering your support system.

    There is the option of having an open adoption, where you and the adoptive parents work out an agreement where you are both comfortable and you can still have some involvement in the child's life.  You must be aware that these agreements are not legally enforceable in most states.  But often, they do work out.  

    Good luck.

  18. My birth mom had me when she was 14 and my birth father was 15. I am now 29 years old and my adoptive parents are my parents both legally and how I regard them. I think that you may find fostering possibly to be a better option as this is usually temporary but I think that to get them out of foster care isn't always easy. I just wondered if a close family member could care for the baby until you are able to do this yourself. This decision should ultimately be yours, just make sure you are well-informed as regards your options. I wish you and your baby well and that whatever you decide is for the best for both of you. x

  19. No you can't. The only time you can ever get your child back is if you change your mind within 30 days of the closure of the adoption date.

    But there is always open adoption, where you receive pictures and letters about your child and can have visits with your child. That might be an option for you if you're concerned about not seeing her again.

  20. No honey adoption is not a temporary situation, it’s meant to be forever.  All birthparents have a window of opportunity that they can get their birthchild back it can last anywhere from a few days to a few months, the longest I have heard of is 6months. If the adoption was done completely legal, you can’t decide 4 to 6 years that you want her back. Please think of how incredible selfish that would be to rip a 4 to 6 year old away from the only family she has known, it would no doubt be traumatizing for the child.

    If you want to get your child later then you need to do temporary guardianship and be an active person in the child’s life so she knows who you are, and when you are ready to care for her by yourself it will be an easier transition. Or you need to find a way to keep your baby and parent her.  Adoption does not = babysitters until the birthmother is grown up enough or feels ready  to be a mommy.

  21. I would go to your local planned parenthood center and speak to someone there. They will help direct you to someone that can help you find the answer/solutions your looking for.

    I would strongly advise you to avoid "open adoption". Most of the time the adoptive parents(no matter how loving they seem) will close the door on your relationship with you child as soon as they can, despite whats best for the baby. They want your baby and not you. They will have the legal right to do so.

    I would avoid adoption agencies as well. They don't have your interests at heart. Try not to listen to the people that talk you into adoption of any kind, especially the ones at church. Your old enough to have a child, therefore Jesus feels you are capable of raising one, despite what our society dictates. I hope that the people in your community will be able to assist you in whatever decision you decide.  

    Maybe you'll be able to find an open-minded, unconditional foster family that will help you raise the baby until your able to take care of the the both of yourself and the child.  

    Best  Wishes and good luck, stay strong.

  22. No  you can't.

  23. No, you wouldn't be able to get her back. But you can do an open adoption where you can get pictures, letters and sometimes even visits with her and the adoptive parents. Don't listen to those who say you wouldn't  be strong enough to do it, you make the choice that's best for that baby. Not anybody else.

  24. Not a chance. Once you sign the papers and the revocation period is over (sometimes it is as little as 72 hours) you have no rights to your child, at all.

    There is open adoption, of course, where the adoptive parents maintain a relationship with the first mother but not very many are kept up. Loads of adoptive parents say they are willing to do an open adoption then break all ties with the first mom as soon as they can. There is no way to make them let you see your baby, you can't even make them send pictures if they don't want to.

    I'm sure many people will tell you this but I am going to say it too...

    Adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You will grow up, faster than you think, you can finish school with a baby and it isn't as hard as you might think. My best friend had a baby at 15, pregnant at 14, and she is the BEST mother I have ever met!!! Her daughter is 14 now and I am so very proud of both of them, they are truly amazing and wonderful women!

  25. No, once your child is adopted, you have no legal rights to her. If you want to raise your baby, perhaps your parents, or a family member could help you take care of her and lend support until you are old enough to raise her on yor own. However, if you really feel you aren't ready to be a mom right now, and make the sacrifices nessisary to provide for your baby, then temporary guardianship by a family member or adoption might be best.

    This is a really difficult decision for anyone to make, especially at your age. I would really suggest talking to a counsellor. Also, there are many forums for both birthmothers who've placed their children for adoption, and teen mothers who are raising their children. Since they've been through what you're going through now, they may be able to offer you some good advice, and point you towards resources they've found to be helpful. Ultimately though, make sure whatever you decide is YOUR decision.

  26. With any "choice" you make, make sure its YOUR choice, not the agencies or your parents. Your going to have to live with this choice for the rest of your life. Remember this ** YOUR NOT AN INCUBATOR FOR A CHILDLESS COUPLE**...If your unsure now, think about it

  27. No.  You can't legally take a child out of its home and away from its new family like that.  Once you sign over your rights the baby is no longer yours.  You can have an open adoption though, where there will be communication and visits between you and them.

  28. Nope.  Not a chance. So don't give her up.

  29. No, sweetie, once your have given up your rights, you can not change your mind, years later.

    Good Luck, Dear.

  30. No.  Adoption is FINAL.

    http://amyadoptee.blogspot.com/2007/01/n...
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