If you got pregnant by accident....?

Question

If you got pregnant by accident, and decided to have an abortion, would you tell your partner (who believes it's murder) or do it on the sly?

Answer 1

if you love him or have any respect for him, you'd consult him before making such a big decision. it is half his, even if youre about to do all the work

Answer 2

You have to decide, don't tell him if that's how you feel.  You can't have a baby that you don't 100% want.  Good luck x

Answer 3

Basically just try to put yourself in his situation. If you were to find out years later he secretly killed/got rid of a child that was a part of you...how would you feel?  

Answer 4

Its your body, your choice. Dont tell him...

Answer 5

Tell him.

Answer 6

well first of all how do u get pregnant by accident ? if u dont us protection thats not accident and second if ur young ur mother has to sign for the abortion . that baby didnt ask to be here its not its fault that parents were not careful

Answer 7

if you are still young then you should probably tell him cuz he probably doesnt want a baby yet but if not then dont tell him its up to you  

Answer 8

dont do abortions. have the child and give it away to someone who wants it. it is murder.

Answer 9

I would do it on the sly ... IF I were you.

BUT - I am not you, I am me... I would not have an abortion.  

Answer 10

i got an answer for you

                                        tell the truth

Answer 11

yes tell him maybe he will help you so that you dont have a abortion - you will always regret it and it will destroy you inside  

Answer 12

its really your choice and not his. if you dont want the child then have an abortion, if your partner likes you enough then he'll understand.

Answer 13

if your partner is the babies father..he deserves to know..that child is half his!

being deceitful is never a good thing!

Answer 14

If you disagree on such a fundamental level that you felt you couldn't tell him, and he wouldn't offer his support, then it would probably be best to tell him, and end the relationship.  Most people who choose to have an abortion do not do so lightly, it's a difficult thing to decide to do, and can be difficult to get over, it would be an added pressure to keep a secret like that from your bf and would not bode well for your relationship in the long run, the truth is often difficult to deal with in the short term, but it's always best in the long run:)

Answer 15

No.

Because just because some peole will say its "your body," it's also HIS baby.

You have equal "ownership" of this child. Who is, his own person, anyway.

At the end of the day, the man cannot do or say anything, if a woman wants an abortion, she is legally entitled to one.

If a woman wants to keep a child and the man wants the abortion, that child will be born.

However, I personally believe that "hiding it" and having an abortion for whatever reason and then not even alerting the child's father to know is sad, childish, and immature.

Answer 16

I wouldn't do abortion if I got pregnant by accident. Which it did happen to me 6 years ago. I kept my baby and he 6 year old now and in first grade. I would keep it or give it up for adoption but talk to my partner about it.

Answer 17

Ultimately it is your choice.  

There is no legal requirement requiring you to tell him.

That being said secrets in relationships, are going to end the relationship.

God forbid it slips out a year from now.

Be the bigger person, tell him now, and tell him that you decided to get the abortion.

Answer 18

I guess my first response should be, how was it an accident?  If it was protected s*x, and somehow you became pregnant.  Then yes, that would be considered an accident, or if you messed up on the pill.  

If you just had s*x, unprotected; then that is not an accident!

As far as telling your bf, that is a sticky situation.  There a lot of pros and cons on that.

Yes it is your body, but that body you have inside you is not just yours alone!  It took the both of you to get pregnant.  No way in heck, could you get  pregnant without a male, at least not yet. lol  You have a hard choice to make.

If your bf, is a responsible man, and would own up to being the father, take care of you and the baby.  Then by all means tell him your preg. and see what he says, if he is ready to do his duty.  Then go through with having the baby and be happy with that!

My personal feelings on it is don't make this baby sound like a foreign object inside of you, you want out now!  Even though this baby is inside of you, does not mean it is not human!  This is a tiny baby!  And whether it was an accident or not, that baby still has rights, rights to life!  You two made this baby, accident or not.  Just because you say it was conceived accidentally, does not give you the right to take this baby's life!  

Let me tell you from experience, it is not fun living with the guilt for the rest of your life!!!  I often wish I hadn't let my parents talk me into, to making me get an abortion. I think it may have been the result of rape. I am 51 now.  That is a long time to have to live with something like that!  So whatever your choice, think of yourself, but mainly think of your baby, make it a wise choice.    And good luck!

Only time I believe in abortion is maybe in cases or rape, or if something is very seriously wrong that the baby will not live on it's own, or if it is going to be still born.  I don't even think it is right to abort, just because of a mental or some physical problems, with the baby.  If a baby is going to be still born or die right after birth, then I cannot see making the mother carry the baby full term.  Other than that, one has to live with the choice they make.

If you still do not want the baby, there are a lot of women who cannot have a baby, that would LOVE to raise your baby!  

Sorry went on so long, just that is my feelings.

Answer 19

why werent the precauctions taken in the beginning to avoid being pregnant if you didnt want it?

if you really love him, discuss it with him.

if your just with him for fun, dont then... its your life... youre the one whose going to face the consequences so be careful

Answer 20

Honey this is your choice, and your choice only as it is your body and you have no one to answer to.

It is entirely up to you if you wish to discuss it with him, but weigh up the pro's and con's of this.

Once again, it is your life/body/decision.  Good Luck.  You have nothing to be ashamed of.

I wish you all the best.

Minny ;-)

Answer 21

Well, I would never have an abortion.

And I wouldn't ever be with somebody that didn't support my decisions.

However, I would tell him. You have to. He is going to realise soon when a baby never pops out.

Answer 22

I'd tell him, a secret like that could end up coming out and ruining your relationship. Tell him your pregnant...and then discuss your options before running off and having an abortion. Maybe this "accident" will be wanted by your partner and who knows what might happen.

Answer 23

If you have the abortion and don't tell your partner that is up to you. It might put a strain on your relationship as you might get a bit stressed after the abortion and you may feel guilty honesty is the best policy

Answer 24

woh!

well, doing it on the sly isnt the right thing if u love ur partner

but then

if ur not ready to have a baby, im sure u can talk 2 ur partner about it.

but then, u can think of it as a blessing and accept the joy

but thats up 2 u 2 decide

sorry if im not much of a help but i got caught up on the heading

peace and bless

Answer 25

Everybody keeps saying "You don't have to tell him...it's your choice."  Well it's his baby too so shouldn't he have a say?  Put yourself in his shoes...what if you got somebody pregnant and they just had an abortion without you agreeing.  I understand you are the one that will have to physically deal with the pregnancy but that doesn't make the baby any less his.  

You should be a responsible woman and talk to him about YOUR'S & HIS child.

Answer 26

never do anything on the sly, its his baby as well not just yours. he has a right to no that your destroying BOTH of your baby. and then well he has to decide if its worth being with someone who would kill his child. sorry but its not fair on him if he doesn't have the right to an opinion ON the matter.  

Answer 27

its your body. your decide.  if you don't want it, then have an abortion. if you tell him then he will try to talk you out of it. (is this what you want? do you really want to cause stress in your life by having him tell you to keep it? maybe you need to hear him say that..because u want to keep it you self??.) but if you know for sure you will abort it then don't tell him. it will cause alot of stress on him. and he will never look at you the same way again.

Answer 28

It depends.  Some people can live with themselves when they get an abortion and don't tell the partner, some people can't.  Which one are you?  I personally think you should tell him so at least he'll know the consequences of his actions.  No pregnancy is an accident.  Both of you guys knew what you were doing and what could happen.  Please get birth control and use condoms so this doesn't happen ever again if you don't want a baby.  

Answer 29

I know people are inclined to say that because it is your body its your choice but that baby is your partners child, he has the right to know what happens to his children

Think about it and put yourself in his shoes, how would you feel if your BF aborted your child (hypothetically speaking) without telling you..

At the very least respect your partners right to tell him, if thats all your do for his benefit.

Answer 30

If you and your partner are young then maybe before telling him discuss what he would do if you "were to get pregnant" only if you are really worried.

personally i think you should just tell him straight out alot of people seem to have one opinion when it comes to abortion but when it actually comes to it it is completely different. if you know that this is what you want to do you have to do it for yourself. and if he cant accept you for your decision then tell him to get &*^%$ because he will never know the physical and emotional pain i guess you could put it of being pregnant, of having to make that decision to get an abortion, if he thinks that he can influence your decision with his bias beliefs then hunny he's probably not worth it.

in the end it is your body. your mind. your life. make the decision for you and nobody else.