If you had a 17year old son? Curfew question?

Question

If you had a 17 year old son. Who got good grades, had a job, and drives, what time would you make his curfew be, to come back home? On weekends? Would you let him stay out untill 3am once in a while?

Answer 1

What is he doing at 3AM.

He can't go to bars.....clubs for his age group close much earlier.

No....I think 3AM is much too late.

I would ask what time the "event" he was attending would be over and then he'd have to be home an hour later.

Answer 2

3 am no One our city has a curfew for minors if he is found out that late i could be introble.  Most major cities have similar curfews

two there is no reason to be out that late unless prom senior year. I graduated at 17

Answer 3

he is 17..i think that a responsible age. he is almost a legal adult. and since it sounds like he is responsible i say let him decide when to come home.

Answer 4

his curfew should be at 1 but i think it would be okay for him to stay out till 3 once in a while

Answer 5

once i could drive i didnt have to be in at a certain time. if i was responsible enough to drive, i was responsible to come in at a reasonable hour.

Answer 6

well my oldest are 13 yr old twins and it's hard to say right now. I mean it will depend on how they are then, if they are responsible, mature and doing well in school. Right now they are honor roll students and well behaved so I don't think that will change (hopefully) but it's still hard to say. I doubt I would ever allow them out until 3:00am for sure. I think I would say 11:00pm give or take. maybe until midnight on special occassions but I can't see why a kid would need to be out that late. Not much is happening past 11 unless they are getting into trouble.

EDIT: where I live in CT, There is a teen driving curfew that states anyone under the age of 18 cannot be driving on the road after midnight,

Answer 7

My son is 17 and before he went to boot camp last month he did not have a curfew. He never has. We knew where he was, who he was with and what he was doing. He had never been in trouble or got caught doing things that he was not suppose to. You have to raise your kids right and give them a little room. You are almost an adult.

Answer 8

I would make him call if he was going to be late, but if he is responsible than he doesn't need a strict curfew at that age.

Answer 9

If he's responsible like that, and he's well behaved, I'd allow him to be out until midnight as long as he told me, and then once in awhile on the weekends I might allow him to stay out until 1 if he calls me first.

Answer 10

Honestly this is a debatable question because seeing as he is 17 with good grades and all that,staying out til 3 a.m. every once in a great while isn't that bad BUT also you have to consider that even 17 yr old have a legal curfew of 12 or 1 a.m. anyway which means if he is pulled over after curfew)or caught out and stopped by a cop) he could go to jail for the night or be slapped with a big fine for not obeying curfew laws.

Also as a parent you have to think there is nothing good for any teen to be doing at 3 a.m. unless they are possibly at a Drive-In or something. After about 11 at night all that is outside is chaos and stuff that is only going to get the kid in trouble. I think his legal curfew should be good enough( 1 a.m.) and just remember he only has ayear until he can be out whenever he wants so its not that bad of an idea to let him be out til 1 but I would say no later than that.

Answer 11

nope the latest 130 on weekend

Answer 12

I struggle with this too.  My son is much like yours in that he has good grades and a good group of friends.  So far he's given us no reason to be too concerned with his behaviour.  During the school week, yes they should have a curfew...10:00pm works for us.  During the grade 12 year there are going to be lots of grad parties on the weekends...I remember the days.  I think it's not a bad idea to be more lenient on the curfew time during those times (maybe 3:00am) at other times maybe 1:30am, but there is always the concern of your child getting home safely whether there is a curfew or not.   That's the big concern for me.  I have always said to my son, if you are too drunk to drive and so are your friends give us a call and we'll pick you up or stay the night where you are, but always make sure to give us a call so we know what's happening.  We realize that at this age kids are experimenting with independence and we have to let them grow.  Alot of times that means they are also going to be experimenting with s*x, alcohol and maybe even drugs.  Whether their curfew is at 10:00pm or even 3:00am they may still experiment with those things.  Our big job is communicating with our son's and daughter's about these things in a non confrontational and non embarassing way years before they reach 17 so they understand the issues early enough.  We've always talked about these things and have been very open about these topics, even at the dinner table when we are always together.  Usually it's not directed right at our son, but more indirectly.  We'll discuss what we've seen in the paper or on the news or what we heard from so-and-so.  He takes part in the conversations too and will often give his opinions.  In the end I think setting the curfew time depends on the kid.  I think it's a good idea to let them help decide what a good curfew time would be.  They don't want to miss out on the action, but sometimes they don't know when enough is enough either.  We need to compromise together and try to understand each other's concerns and hopefully come to a mutual agreement.

Answer 13

First find out if there is a legal curfew in your area for his age group.  Then that is his curfew, period.  If there isn't, then it depends on whether he is still in school or not.  School night 10 to 10:30 (especially if he has zero hour); weekends midnight unless something special is going on.  And, as always, a phone call if something is going to make him late.

Answer 14

he is a boy, and hes almost an adult.

you have to let go of him once he goes to university so as long as he calls before 12, then you shouldnt really put a curfew on him.

Answer 15

ok for one your still a minor so you parents are still responsable for your actons and they worry about you being out late. if you were my child i would tell you ok on the weekends you could stay out but i would need to know what time you would be in and i would tell you if something happens and you cannot make it by the said time to just call so i would not worry about you. that is how my father done me.

Answer 16

I think that if he is responsible than midnight is good, but seriously there is no point in staying out until 3am unless he is having a two person sleepover, or getting in trouble with the cops!