If you had a chance to go on a national tv show and voice your concerns about adoption would you?

Question

If you would, what would you say? What do you think the public needs to know about adoption that they don't already know? What are their misconceptions about adoption?

Would you want to share your personal experience in such a public way?

If you wouldn't, why wouldn't you?

Answer 1

I would smuggle some of the 12+yr. old girls from Guatemala into the US and let them talk about their experiences about being forced to be breeders to fill the demand by US paps for babies.    I wonder if that alone would wake up Pap's and Ap's.

Answer 2

Absolutely.  Before I did so, I'd sit down and have a pow wow with all the adoptees I know and ask what THEY would want me to talk about.  I have some ideas about what I'd cover, but I would ultimately leave it up to those who know best.

Answer 3

I would be GLAD to go on a REPUTABLE program to discuss adoption and my concerns. There is so much to say! I hope they would consider a mini-series!! They could do a week long special! One day each for Adoptee concerns, First Family Concerns, doptive Family Concerns followed by a day for examining the industry, laws and morality issues and then a finale filled with ideas, suggestions and debate.

I would want to talk about:

1.) Coersion and corrupt adoption practices

2.) ADOPTEE RIGHTS (Name changing, acess to records, medical issues, etc.)

3.) Attitudes about Adoption: Public perception, religious views of adoption, glorification of adoption in the media (the need for honest representation of adoption to the public), stereotypes and stigmas, adoption language, etc.

4.) The lack of REAL adoption education for ALL parties (As NONE of us are told the "real deal" at the beginning) including PAPs, fathers, & the general public

5.) The issues of treating children as a commodity (The INDUSTRY and its need for reform)

6.) Abuse in Adoption and how to prevent it

7.) Father's and children's RIGHTS

9.) The value of First Families (moms, dads, siblings, grandparents, etc.) and how to support and encourage positive relationships

10.) The lack of support available for all triad members POST adoption

11.) Adoption and Surrogacy (Their connections and unique issues

12.) The emotions and long term effects of adoption on ALL parties (I am WELL aware that APs struggle with feelings too after adoptions- not just adoptees and first families!! :))

13.) Adoption scams to PAPs and how to prevent them

14.) How to have an ETHICAL and healthy adoption

15.) The DIFFERENCES of various adoption types (Too many people are unaware of the many typpes of adoption and the advantages and disadvantages of each to ALL parties! Private, Foster Care, Domestic, International, Kinship, Closed, "Open", Special Needs, Shared Parenting Arrangements, Step-Parent, etc. )

16.) Adoption laws and the need for better legislation (Safe Haven laws, sealed records, rescindment periods,  etc.)

17.) Embryo adoption and its issues

18.) The finances of adoption (Adoption Incentives, Tax Breaks, Stipends, Company Benefits, Grants, etc.) It would be interesting to examine the government handling of adoption funds, the financial reasons adoption is chosen and how to prevent finances from being the reason for family separations, the expenses of PAPs and APs and whether their money is being properly used by facilitators, etc.)

19.) The Government/Courts and Adoption (CPS, Foster Care, Social Services, GAL/CASA services) positives and negatives

20.)Other issues, ideas and suggestions for reform (all the stuff we talk about on here!!)

Sorry about the jumping all over - I am SO sure I left stuff out! there is just so much to talk about - there could be a whole CHANNEL!!

Answer 4

First and foremost I would talk about the injustice of sealed records (in most states). Adoption shouldn't be treated as a big shameful secret. Adult adoptees should have the right to obtain information about their origins.

I would share my personal experience of our open adoption only with the permission of my daughter and her nmom. Better yet with them present as well. Maybe more Paps would realize that the natural mother's are not these big scary monsters and understand the benefits to the nmom and child of open adoption.

Answer 5

Sure I would, if I had any concerns.

Answer 6

Yes I would.  Bring it.

I would talk about the need for open records, and about corruption in the current US adoption industry.  I would encourage foster-to-adopt and discourage international adopion.

Answer 7

Its kind of a mixed bag. On the one hand, you probably have lots of good advice and experiences to share. On the other hand, the studio decides how much of that is interesting enough to put on tv. Though some shows are about the issues, they want ratings too. Questions to consider would be, "Am I going to be provoked to the point of saying something I'd regret?" "Would this really help BOTH parties involved? Or is it just what I want?"

We all say things we don't mean, but saying them on television can be a bit more awkward. Plus, even when the show is over, they can still youtube it, lol. All jokes aside though, I think you should make sure ALL parties involved are comfortable putting their personal problems on television.

Answer 8

I'd probably take a more political stance.  I've been lucky and had a pretty d**n good adoption experience compared to a LOT of other adoptees... I wouldn't want everyone out there thinking that I'm the norm.  I was just lucky.

I'd express the need for OPEN records.  AT NO CHARGE.  I'd expose just how lucrative the entire adoption business really is and how the only people that don't profit from it are the adoptees... the ones that we're SUPPOSED to be the most concerned with.  (After all, this whole thing is *supposed* to be to give a child a better life... right? blech.)  I HATE the idea that the government gets to take my hard earned cash if I want to know anything about myself... (For the record, in WI, 300 bucks gets me non-identifying information only.  As in genetic background, genetic diseases, and nationality if I'm lucky.  If I want IDENTIFYING information, the price goes up.)

Why do I have to pay so much money for something that everybody else is privy to at birth?  I can't even go into a doctor and tell them what I'm at risk for genetically!  

I feel like I'm being punished for a choice I never even had.

Other things I'd like to talk about: How hideous the international adoption policies really are.  How hurt a lot of these adoptees are.  But I'd probably let one of my internationally adopted friends and their first family do the talking on that one.  I can't think of anyone better to speak on the subject than someone who's gone through it.

The misconceptions?  That we're all like little orphan annie, curly sue, and punkie brewster.  Happy, witty kids that dance and sing for entertainment and have no issues what so ever with our situations.   We're all just blissfully happy, charismatic, and lovable with no hostility that everyone just falls in love with do to our spunky and upbeat personalities.  Talk about sugar coating a less than wonderful situation.

I'm not concerned with the publicity.  Maybe then I'd at least get some answers or open a few eyes.  If we don't swallow our fears and speak up,  we can't be heard, right?

Answer 9

Yes I would tell about my personal experiences with adoption.

Answer 10

Airing dirty laundry on television is self serving and pretentious.

Does anybody really think Oprah cares about domestic or international orphans? A woman who thinks that poor African girls should be separated from their parents, sequestered and molested in her Leadership Academy? She cares more about her dogs then she ever would about a human child.

And what about Dr. Phil? Perhaps he can lock up birthmother's and APs er I mean "Mothers and Parents" and work them over until they come out singing Kumbya!

Why not write a book where creative free is not suppressed.

And since only the more intelligent of the species actually reads your message will get across to right people.