If you had a family member in this situation , Would you "pull the plug" so to speak?

Question

My grandmother had a stroke many years ago that resulted in a loss of mobility. For some time we took care of her at home but then started developing dementia and her condition became worse. Recently she was put into a nursing home but suffered another stroke, now she is fully paralyzed on her left side cannot eat, speak , and when she breathes it sounds like shes choking on a massive amount of Flem (sorry lol, sounds a bit gross) on top of that shes still not mentally stable due to the dementia that she had already developed. If you were in this state would you want to live? I'm 16 and I don't understand why my mom opted for the feeding tube, shes just prolonging the inevitable, the poor woman obviously doesn't want to live, you can see it in her face.

Answer 1

I would just ask my grandmother to write down her will.

Answer 2

I went through this a few years ago with my little brother. He fell off a third floor balcony and landed on the top of his head and it broke every bone. My real father wanted to keep him on life support but my mother and step-father didn't want to. We held a family meeting with all of us and decided that the best thing to do was to let him go. It was one of the hardest decisions that I had to make. The doctor informed us that he would never wake up and never be the man that we knew. We made sure that everyone was able to go into the room and say there goodbye's but in the end it was the best decision. He is no longer suffering and I now have a wonderful nephew named after him.  

Answer 3

Different people choose different things. Personally, I want to remain on life support/feeding tubes/etc. and I have made sure that I have a physicians directive clearly stating this as well as telling all of my close friends and relatives. My belief is that God is the only one that can take my life, and if he feels it is time for me then even life support will not stop me from going.

Unfortunately, with the level of dementia that you are describing there is no way to tell whether this woman wants to live or die. Her mind is too far gone to know for sure. So the best thing for your family to do is stick with her physician's directive and any instructions she gave before she became ill.

I know it can be difficult to watch, but try to make her as comfortable as you can. A few familiar objects or stories can spark pleasant memories even if we cannot see the person's joy outwardly.

Answer 4

No , I wouldn't

We had a similar case with my Grandmother's Father last year

the Family Decided to take care of him at home till the last day of his life even though every one know he wouldn't be Fine again

but Pulling the Plug is not the way of Solving it !

its not like she is in Coma ! that would be a different case !

I Hope She would rest in Peace wether here or in the other world !

Answer 5

Oh sweetheart, I understand.  The same thing has happened to my grandfather.  Stroke, dementia, the whole thing (minus the paralysis).

If it was me that it happened to I'd rather die, however, it's a totally different story when you are talking about making that decision on someone else's behalf.  

It's a very complicated situation sweetheart.  Don't forget this is her mother, it's hard to say goodbye to a parent, and there's always that part of you that holds onto the hope that they'll get better, or there will be a medical breakthrough.

In the end, it's up to your mum. Put yourself in her shoes - if it was her lying there, how would you feel if you had to make the choice of ending her life.  Just support your mum, she will need your love and support right now.  It's a terrible thing for the family to go through, as well as the person it has happened to.

Best of luck :)    

Answer 6

Maybe. But unless she wrote down her wishes, your mom gets to do what she thinks is best. I'm with you, I wouldn't want to live like that, but its not my choice nor yours. Your grandmother should have taken care of this stuff years ago.  

Answer 7

No Way! You can't just pull the plug on someones life , specially when that person is still able to move and has feelings. It clearly isn't her time if she has survived all those illnesses.

In my opinion if you just let her go it would be like killing your grandmother just because you want to take the easy way out! ... I could never do it.

if she was brain dead that would be a different matter