If you had it to do all over again, would you have kids?

Question

I am a 30 yr old female with no children. I don't know if i ever want any. My friends tell me although they love their kids, they would not have had them if they had it to do again. My friends are very good with their children ,but sometime they tell me you don't know how lucky you are,So would you have kids if you could turn back the hands of time?

Answer 1

In less than a sec. My kids have done more for me than they;ll ever know. When you see the smile on their face when they do something they know you'll like...there is nothing more fulfilling. I've never found a drug or drink that make me feel like my kids do. in the same thought thou, nothing can p*ss you off more than you own kids. You will run every emotion and invent a few that are yours alone...and that's in the first 3 years.

Answer 2

OKKKK!!! what planet do your friends come from? my god, i cant imagine being able to find ONE friend who would say that let alone NUMEROUS. The love you feel when you hold your child is unlike any you will ever know. You feel scared, amazed that this tiny little angel is yours, you feel overwhelmed sometimes i could just cry looking at my son, you feel proud. Not proud like you feel when you get a bargain on a cute pair of shoes, PROUD that you created this miracle, that you have the strength and knowledge and love to care for them.

I am a 21 yr old mother of one 13 month old boy and i definatly want more children. Sometimes its hard, but it is so rewarding. There beautiful faces just melt your hearts.

I would say that your FRIENDS are out of there minds and are definatly not serious when they say they wouldnt have children. If they are then they CANNOT be good parents as you say, i believe. I think some people may look back in hindsight and say things such as "we would have had an easier time if we only had two instead of four" or ï wish i had of waited until i was more financially stable etc" but it is not everyday you will find a loving, caring parent who will tell you they would never have children if they were faced with the chance. And if they were, i bet they would!.

I think your friends have probably had a tough few years, been very busy, stressful and all the jazz that goes with being a parent but i think that if you reminded them of what they have said when there children have grown up and left they would be very very ashamed and regretful.  

Answer 3

Absolutly Im glad I had my kids. I had my first when I was 29 and I think as you get older life becomes more boring. Can you imagine life when your 50 yrs old and you have no kids or grandkids on the way. If you endup in a nursing home when your 80 who's gonna come and visit you, do you think your friends will come visit you. NO they won't give a s**t about you. Your kids are gonna visit you when your older and your grandkids will visit you. I think life is boring without my kids. I feel sorry for people around 40 that has had no kids. Maybe you feel this way just because your no ready or the timing isn't right or maybe because you haven't got the right partner. Next time write a question up on this website " For the people 40+ yrs old that hasn't got kids, have you regreated your desision not to have kids '' and see what response you'll get. If you don't have kids you will regret it one day.  

Answer 4

Wow you must have some pretty depressed friends. I don't think I could ever say that I would have rather not had children. I mean I can't imagine my life WITHOUT them!!

True, people who don't have children don't have those added responsibilities in their life. They have to only mend for themselves.

But I wouldn't ever trade my kid's kisses, hugs, smiles, and love for any single person's lifestyle. Yes caring for children can be challenging enough...but they are YOUR children and the love you have for them is just priceless.  

Answer 5

Wow, I'm glad that your friends are good parents to their children, but I personally think it's extremely wrong of them to say something like that. My daughter is 7 months old and if I had to turn back the hands of time, I wouldn't change a thing!

Answer 6

no offense but your friends sound like awful parents to say if they could go back they wouldnt want their children.  im 22 years old with a beautiful 2 year old little girl and i would not have changed a thing. there is no way i would have decided not to have her. yea they get frustrating, yes they push your buttons. but there is no love like the love of a child, the way they look at you, depnd on you, give you hugs for no reason at all, the sweetness they have about them. if i went back and did it all over again i would want the same thing t happen exactly as it did cause if not..my little girl wouldnt be who she is now, any parent who doesnt feel this way, the unconditional love for their kids, should not have kids. sorry

Answer 7

im only 14 and of course if i coud go back i wont,

but if its ment to be.

at the moment i dont see why im pregnant,

but everything happens for a reason.  

Answer 8

Absolutely!  My son is the greates thing in my life and I would not trade him for anything.  I waited until I was 30 to have him so maybe that's why I have no regrets.  I went out and did whatever I wanted and got over that and then I was ready to have kids. I love my son and I could not imagine my life without him.  He filled a void that I never even knew that I had.

Answer 9

Yeah. I would have waited another 2-3yrs before having my first which probably would have lead to have less, but I would be a mom again. I love kids, mainly because I'm still a kid in some ways myself. Do they drive me crazy? Yes. Are there moments where I wonder what I was thinking when I had them? Of course...but the enjoyable moments out number the bad ones by a million.

Parenthood isn't for everyone and that's completely fine. Just because I enjoy being a mother doesn't mean every woman in the world should. Some are better at being the "cool aunt". Some would rather have the freedom to do as they please when please. It doesn't make you selfish or a bad person like I've heard so many say. It just makes you different...just like EVERYONE ELSE is this big ol' world.

Best Wishes =]

Answer 10

Oh, you have your days where you wish they'd go away, but you wouldn't want them to go for more than a few hours! My daughter is 16 months, and I'm pregnant, so energy and patience are currently not abundant. There are days where I barely cope, but once she's been in bed for two hours and I've had a chance to chill, I just want to pick her up and cuddle her! You really have to pay attention to your kids otherwise you don't get to know them properly; you hear all the whinging, but miss watching their little personalities develop. It's like having a present that looks great, but then you realise there's another layer of wrapping paper so you take it off. That looks even better, but there's another layer of wrapping paper...

It sounds as though your friends weren't ready to change their lives and identities from 'couple' to 'family.' Most people launch into this phase of life with virtually no realistic idea of what parenthood is like. Just read all the posts "my 3 week old wants to be held all the time, what can I do?!"

Maybe the clucky hormones will hit one day, maybe they won't. Don't let your friend's complaints deter you if you do want kids. Motherhood does involve inescapable drudgery, but there is room for happiness and fun. It takes education and a willingness to live a different style of life.

Answer 11

YOu know what i'm a new mom..it was a big changes after i have my baby..really big..responsibility and all.. being a full time mommy  and full time at work is hard to do..especially when she's so young and very needy..feeding..changing..and may i add finance...it can drive you nuts...

But you know what.. with all through hard work..a smile of your baby pays off....one time she had to stay with her grandma for like a week.. they said i needed a break...But hard to believe.. i couldnt sleep, i couldnt eat..all i think about is her..

When she got sick..i stay up all night..and kissing her head wishing she felt better...She grew into me..it probably sound like she needs me..but it really i need her...she make me feel so proud..also make me feel so grown up..

Sorry it was long..got carried away..

Answer 12

Yes of course. The only thing that i regret was not getting counseling

before my divorce. Divorce is tough on kids.

Answer 13

In a heartbeat. I love my Daughter more than I ever could have imagined. She was definitely a missing piece in my life. I love her more than life. She's brought so much happiness to me, I can't put it into words.

Answer 14

I can understand that some people just aren't cut out for raising a family.  If you feel hesitant or even dread it, maybe it's just not for you.  There is nothing wrong with that at all!  But I'm sorry to say that your friends comments are a bit disturbing... I can understand them feeling overwhelmed or even disappointed, but regretting having children?  That's a bit cold.  

Answer 15

I am right there with you.  I am only a 20 year old guy and people always patronize me for saying I don't want kids, they say that I'm too young to decide, even though I think I can never be too young to plan my life.  If you don't have an urge to have children, I wouldn't worry about it, if you eventually want children later in life, you can always adopt if you feel you are too old when you decide (that's what I plan to do if I do change my mind, there are too many kids in the world that need a good home, why bring another into the world?)

Just remember that you can always change your mind to have kids if you have never had one, but you can't change your mind to not have kids once you have had one.

Answer 16

In a heartbeat!!!! There are times when I get super stressed from my daughter but I would not trade her for the world...and I would have her again if I could do it all over again!  

Answer 17

YES YES YES. I love my kids more than anything, and I would never ever change having them. It may be more difficult now, and sometimes I want to pull my hair out, but they are everything to me.  

Answer 18

Most definitely. My daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me, and while she was unplanned and I was young, I wouldn't have changed anything about it. It can be difficult and frustrating at times, but the good definitely outweighs the bad for me. I can't imagine my life without her and I wouldn't want to.  

Answer 19

First of all I need to let you knowt that this question is being answered by a proud parent of six of her own biologcal children, three adopted and nineteen foster children.  My husband and I have forty seven Grandchildren, so I think that I would qualify as somewhat of an expert in this area, don't you think so?  Those of your friends who are telling you that they would not have children if they had to do it over again have probably had a rough time in today's world, and I grant you that it is not an easy road raising children in this world we face today.  Drugs, disease, and all the challenges that parents face that I myself did not face raising my own are a different ballgame for parents today.  I often tell my own children that they a much harder road than I had.  But would I do again, in heartbeat.  My children are the pride of my life and my husbands, we are very proud of them and of our grandchildren.  One of my oldest grand daughters is pregnant and unmarried and she was afraid to tell us, but as I told her in today's I am still very proud of her because she did not even THINK THE WORD abortion and I consider a victory on her mothers and my own.  In today's world that is success.  My husband is a pastor and so all of our children are Christians and I am very thankful for that, I don't whether our little grand daughter has made a decsion yet but I hope she in the future.  I pray that this message helps you make a decision in some way, please know that God is there if you just believe and He will guide you and assist you in raising your children even in todays MIXED up world, you just have to allow HIM in to do it.  Have your children you sound like you would be a very good mother to them.......Good luck....if you need a friend my email address is [e-mail]   marilyn  

Answer 20

I would definetly have kids again!!!!!  Yeah, parenthood may be tough at times, but there is no replacing the love you have for your children!

Answer 21

Yes I would have my kids.  It is very hard but it is very worth it!  I would have just chosen to start my family later than at 21!  But I would still have kids!  You have to get over your selfishness which is hard but rewarding.  You get to make a human being that is a part of you and your love!  You get to relive your childhood, playing games you used to play, the excitement of Christmas, and all the holidays, birthday parties, giving them what you didn't have, holding their chubby little bodies in your arms, snuggling with them at night, seeing the delight on their faces, watching them grow and become their own person.  You will never be alone.  You get to see them as parents one day perhaps.  You get to be a grandparent!  I think I am incredibly lucky!  People would give an arm and a leg to have a child and can't!  Some people never find someone to love and don't have a child.  I think it's always good to appreciate what you have.  So you can appreciate your freedom to go wherever or do what you like.  Having kids is not for some people and that's okay too.  But if I could turn back the hands of time would I still have kids...YES!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 22

of course i would do it all over again. Dont really want another one right now, dont know if i ever will. But my daughter is the best thing that has happened to me  

Answer 23

100% yes. kids can drive you crazy sometimes no matter how good of a parent you are, but they are still lifes miracles and i wouldn't trade them for the life i used to have...never!

Answer 24

Oh my goodness!

I would have my kids in a heartbeat and my husband agrees.

They have done nothing but enrich our lives and bring us so much joy and meaning.

They're wonderful.