If you have been divorced 3xs by 31 is it time to give up?

Question

Im just looking for insight. I dont seem to be able to make the right decision when it comes to matters of the heart

Answer 1

I would think that if you're divorced 3 times by ANY age, you should

give up!  But especially at that age, it sounds like you are probably

way to impulsive.  You need to take a break for a while, then in

your next relationship, take it more SLOWLY--you're on your

way to being the next Elizabeth Taylor!

Answer 2

Nobody is perfect, Everybody makes mistakes, It seems that you have not found that perfect man and I would bet his is looking for you. But it may take time and love could be right around the corner. Don't go looking for it, cause it will seem to take forever, Love will hit you right between the eyes when your not ready for it. Funny thing is I've been married twice and know this, I was married 10 years and got divorced, And I did date some, and all I went out with, was not for me and I met someone one about a year and a half later, and she seemed perfect, The funny thing is, She was my ex-wife, Even though she matured a lot since we split up, She was what I really wanted, someone who loved me as I was and who would not change me. We both learned to make a marriage work.

You need communication, Honesty, Trust and the person you marry should be your best friend, A marriage is not easy, nothing comes easy, you have to work at it everyday, Never go to bed mad at each other, Tell each other you love each other every day.

Go get'em and good luck

Answer 3

I'd say it's time to step back and ponder. Don't give up completely, but allow yourself a long break and keep those stupid boys at a distance.  

Answer 4

You already hit on it, look at why you make bad decisions and also get an honest opinion, sometimes when people cant find the "right" person, its not their choices, its them that's at fault.

Answer 5

Don't' worry about numbers in this equation. Marriage is dependent upon 2 people...not just one. It was probably some-what your fault but not 100% your fault. What you should do is stop worrying about marriage. Keep a diary and write your thoughts down. Try to pin down exactly why your marriages failed. It will probably take some time for it to come to you but it will if you spend enough time alone thinking over things.

When you feel ready to date again take it slow. Don't date someone just to avoid being alone. Date someone because that someone makes you happy. Don't worry about marriage. Just date someone you like and see where it goes. If he proposes, make him wait a year at least. I hope things get better. If you cannot come up with the reasons the marriages failed then try to get a counselor and work through it in your sessions. You must learn from your past before you can go on.

Don't worry about what others think or say. This is your life and you need to do what makes you happy. If people give you grief about this just say you were trying to find happiness. I don't fault you for that. I hope you find the happiness you are looking for.  

Answer 6

You need to give a relationship time develop before rushing into marriage. Ask youself if you had to wait 2 years from dating to marriage would you have been divorced 3 times, chances are probably not.

Answer 7

have had the same problem so the best thing to do is never go further than dating that seems to work fine for me but then i know the problem that i have and that is i enjoy variety in life so i should not be married  

Answer 8

Yes I would say that person should give up on marriage.  Be it a man or woman.  He or she should just live up the single life.   Once things go wrong just move on.  Without all the hassle of divorcing.

Answer 9

3 times at 31 !   d**n, you've been around the block quite a few times, time to give it up. U don't have to marry every man you go out with you know ?

Answer 10

No, although you have made bad choices you can learn from each one.  Keep trying but give it some time before you marry or consider marriage.  If you see a man and you believe he will turn out the same, then get out of the relationship.

Answer 11

How long did you know each of your exes before you married? Did you have three giant weddings or 3 elopements? Did your marriages end for similar reasons (unfaithfulness, money problems, etc.)? It's hard to give insight without more details.

My fiance's dad and mom have each been married 5 times (to different people). Every wedding was an elopement or simple court ceremony. I wanted to elope, but my fiance insists on a ceremony witnessed by all our friends and family. He feels like it would be more sanctified. We're marrying for the 1st (and hopefully, only) time and we're both in our late 30s.  

Answer 12

You still young, discover who you really are. Be happy with who you are and find yourself. Give yourself a break from picking all the wrong men in your life. Love is not emotions, it is not some feeling.   Do not give up.  Get yourself together.

Answer 13

Ya think? I suck at long term relationships as well. Just be happy having "Friends with benefits".

Answer 14

Wow.  3 x's by 31!  My heart says love is all it's cracked up to be, worth fighting for, risking everything for...and all that jazz.   But, my head tells me you are probably not the type who will be successful in a marriage.  All the best to you. :-)

Answer 15

Don't give up, next time just don't get married! Why not just live together and separate. No need for costly weddings and divorces if it's not gonna last.

Answer 16

Well, I would figure out what kind of man is good for me, good to me, who am I compatible with, what do you want from a relationship, what have you learned from past relationships.  Answer all these questions and then, before getting involved again, learn to love and respect yourself enough to know when to get involved and when to stay "friends" before things get too complicated if the warning flags are flying.  You need to think before you act.  

Answer 17

If I had been married three times by the time I was 31, I'd just settle for the fact that marriage is not for me.

Some people are just lucky enough to get married once!!

There may not be much wrong with your judgment. Maybe you just shouldn't marry again. Just date.  :-)

Answer 18

DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! life is a journey and there are going to be mistakes  along the way. Pick your self back up and be less agressive, dont look for a date one will come to you and you can be shure they are in the relationship  for you.

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Answer 19

No, not time to give up but maybe try listening to some of your friends or read a few books to gain insight. We don't know you or how you react to things but everyone could stand a little adice from someone who knows them.