Question:

If you have read a child called "IT" here's a question?

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I'm sure a lot of people have read the book a child called "it" what that mother did was horrible. she was a straight up no doubt about it child abuser. my question is why do parents who spank their children for discipline get categorized under the same category as the mother in that book or like the parents we hear about in the news? there is a pretty thick clear as day line.what do you think? I spank my daughter when I feel it's necessary and I would never couldn't even imagine doing what that women did or what some parents do that we hear about on the news.

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  1. I would have to agree with you that a lot (not all) lump spanking into the abuse category. I don't think spanking is the cure all and certainly some kids don't need it. I also think some parents shouldn't use it as a discipline tool because they cannot control their own temper. Spanking should never be done out of anger and should never be taken t excess. A lot of times it is and that is wrong. For some parents it is abuse. When I was a kid there wasn't anything else that would get my attention. I had to have my behind blistered for anything to sink in! My son is the same way, yet my nephew- all you have to do is tell him how sad you feel because of the way he is acting. He breaks down crying and runs to his room. All kids are different. Spanking alone isn't abuse in my opinion. It is a tool that can be utilized if needed, and like any tool can be misused.


  2. it all depends, the mother in the book tortured his son just to do it, discipline is different because the child is good its just that the kid needs to get put in order, i dont recall child abuse and discipline in the same category, there 2 different things

  3. No, they're not categorized together. I think most people can tell the difference between abuse and discipline.

  4. There is a difference between discipline and abuse. I never read the book, but from what I've read above this was the old school way of correcting your children when they've done wrong. Today it is considered abuse. (I do have to agree with everyone else, it's wrong to take your frustration out on your child cause your life is miserable. No child is asked to be brought into this world to be a punching bag). Just had to get that out, anyways.There would be times when all else fails, that the last resort would be a spanking and trust me when children hit their early teens it only gets tougher, but I don't believe in using nothing except my hand. Objects are not mean't to be used on humans for bodily harm (my opinion). As for calmly spankng a child, well i agree with the individual above who stated when you spank a child there's nothing calm about it. Children can learn to push your buttons to the peak b4 we cave in, that's part of being a human. But there is a limit and that's the fine line between discipline and abuse.

    Good topic BTW!!

  5. I have read that book, and yes it is so awful! It's so sad to think about little children being tortured that way. :(

    I think it is because there are too many adults who were "spanked" the old school way--out in the wood shed with huge welts put on their legs and rear. That was brutal, but it was called spanking. The right way of spanking, we both know is totally different, and done in love, but those kids, who are now adults, were told they were being spanked.

    I believe there is a HUGE difference between correct spanking, and hitting. My kids are spanked when necessary, but it is done in a calm and loving manner, a couple of swats on the rear, a hug, "I love you"'s and that's that. And it works!  

  6. the only book i know called IT involved a killer clown.Not sure of the one you mean  

  7. I dont know what the world is coming to but from where im from you  can spank your child in public and peeps could give a c**p less. This women took all her anger and frustration out on this poor child and in a horrific manner now thats real abuse. to the chic above me umm theres nothing calm and loving about spanking anyone. When you pop your child you arent being very calm and I dont see spanking at all as a loving gesture lmao! But I do believe in spanking for only when its really deserved.

  8. I agree...spanking is not abuse.  Sometimes time outs don't always work.  As long as the child isn't being humuliated or hit hard enough to cause injury, it's fine.

  9. I personally consider spanking abuse, because the kind of spanking I received as a child was abuse. You can spank out of anger or you can spank out of disciple. I think more often than not people spank out of anger. For example, the kid does something wrong, parents hits the child right away, out of anger and frustation. I think if you are going to spank you should be in a calm, rational state of mind, explain to the child what they did wrong, and that you are punishing them, and then execute it calmly. My mom would just haul off and hit me repeatedly with her hands and objects, and my legs would be bleeding afterward from "spanking". So spanking in certain ways, I feel, can be abuse. I think when I have children, spanking will be an absolute last resort, and if I have to it will be carried out in the way mentioned above.

  10. i read the book, that woman is a sicko!

    i have a baby, very young yet but when the time comes i wont have a problem spanking him if it is for a good reason. just because i want to discipline my child i don't see why everyone should be considered to be an abuser.

    no one enjoys seeing their child cry but sometimes its in the child's best interests to be stopped from something etc.

  11. The mother in that book was extremely abusive and it isn't the same as disciple.  But, I was spanked almost daily as a child because I would never do my chores on time and all it did was make me feel hatred when I was spanked.  I never remember feeling "I'm going to be better next time".  I just learned that I could do whatever I wanted and just take the spanking.   I think it made me more calloused.  I don't spank my children for this reason, but I don't know if that is the right thing either.  I think every child responds differently to discipline and if you know what works with your child then you are doing the right thing.  Spanking didn't work on me at all but I don't think my mom knew what else to do.  But, I don't think it is abusive unless it is to make the spanker feel some sense of satisfaction.  It clearly seems that this is not you :)

  12. The spectrum of abuse is pretty wide, and the abuse involved in that book is an extreme (she tortured her son, pure and simple). Other kids suffer abuse that is less extreme, but still abuse. They don't deserve it, and it is still wrong, and they shouldn't have to deal with it.

    The line gets thinner and thinner as you move down the spectrum of abuse. Does that mean that parents who spank their children should be jailed, as child abusers most definitely should be? No. I have aunts and uncles who spanked their kids and who are not bad people (just visited two of them recently actually, and had a great visit).

    It does mean that there are far less severe forms of child abuse, where the difference is not always so obvious and clear cut, that are still wrong.

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